To put together a post apocalyptic survival bag...

[redwallday]

...and keep it under my bed? I'm thinking tinned rations, water, high calorie treats, basic drugs (ie aspirin, antibiotics), some sort of pocket knife, warm clothes, a towel, a torch, some sort of basic gps maybe...hmm what else?

Basically so I could grab the kids, grab the bag and run for our lives to the nearest forest at a split seconds notice.

Dh has just pointed out he has an Oh Fuck Pocket Collection - on his key ring he has a torch, a very small pocket knife that after about half an hour can cut a bread roll in two, an elastic band, and a tin opener, plus of course keys.

So we're upping a Walkers crisps van to a Sainsbury's delivery lorry, as we could now open tins etc. as well as crisp packets if caught off guard by the apocolypse while out and about.

N

Whoops - posted too soon (stupid phone) fakebook I will be abandoning all forms of grooming in the event of an apocalypse - hoping untamed body hair will terrify the zombies into submission!

Ok...well, according to astronomers we would have at least a decade's warning about an Asteroid hitting us, so you'd have plenty of time to shop, Captain.

I love JammySplodger's idea of nested helmet-pans.

There must be a market for those.

Iodine for nuclear fallout. Almost forgot that one.

I will be heading to the nearest greggs and stocking up with sausage rolls and fruit shoots. I will then proceed to the Golden Wonder crisps factory where I shall acquire copious amounts of cheese and onion crisps.

Because none of the other MNers would be seen dead in either place and I wouldn't have to fight over supplies. Obviously.

Thanks Shelly, yeah we figured we'd never seen them anywhere, must be a niche in the market.

Will nip down Wilkinsons for some cheap pans in the week and start fashioning some prototypes.

I've actual got one in the front hall cupboard, but we call it a resilience bag. There's a island in the River Nene I plan to colonise.

In mine so far would be:

A penknife
A guide to surviving in the wild
Lots of plastic sheeting
A cheap metal pan and cup
An assortment of scary knives
Lots of antiseptics and antibiotics
A book on field medicine
An ordinance survey map (in a plastic cover)
A wind up torch
A wind up radio
Some thermal blankets (the shiny metallic ones)
One of those metal things you make spark off for starting fires
A water purifier (maybe one of those condensers)
a mooncup
Emergency sugar/caffeine like Kendal Mint Cake and Pro Plus
A sewing kit
Spares of essential clothes and scrap fabric for repairs

I'm going for knives and axes for weapons. Cos you won't be able to plug the nail gun in post apocalypse.

I think we need to have a definitive MN ofrs list. I will start it off with the essentials : wine and chocolate digestives.

Oh and I plan to take over a prison. All the baddies will have legged it and I will drive in there in my stolen supermarket delivery lorry (full of course). Lots of room / beds / bedding. Probably own generator. Easily defended.

Battery powered nail gun (if such a thing exists?!) and numerous batteries!

You've thought this through haven't you Crikeyblimey. Prison's an outstanding idea.

I did spend a long boring Sunday afternoon on just this topic a while back! A prison somewhere remote (Lakes or somewhere) so it would be a while before anyone noticed my merry band of survivors were there.

I'd need to recruit a team though. People with different skills. I could feed loads of people on not much but would be crap at making stuff. We'd need people to make clothing from the bedding that there will be loads of. Dh would be good at the practical stuff like sneaking out for wood / fuel to keep the genny going. He'd knock up a still and we could grow potatoes to keep us in booze in the long term.

It does need more thought though.

What is the thinking on pets? I realise DCs couldn't be set free to roam wild, but I'm not sure I would trust the cat to stay quiet. She may be eat left to her own devices. The dog may prove usefulthough...

the pets become livestock TWllBach.

You need a stockpile in the house for if it's safe to stay put and "fort up" for a while, and then an OFRS for if you need to get out fast and head for the hills so to speak.
Tins are no good for fleeing with, they weigh too much, but are good for in the house to stockpile, for example.
Twl we only have a tortoise and he would fit in a pocket so he comes with us
So much depends on which Apocalypse it is when it happens.(Can you tell I have given this much thought over the years? )

But pombear, how would you feed the tortoise? What if it's winter and tortoise is hibernating?

I worry about post-apocolyptic pets. Someone (possibly on telly) suggested that feral cats would rule the skyscrapers in the absence of people. The logical step from there would be that they'd develop the ability to glide, like flying squirrels, and I'd seriously worry about cats dropping from the sky.

I have the SAS Survival Handbook but since buying it 2 years ago, I haven't got any of the stuff it recommends ( except survival blankets, torch and spare battery which I keep in the car).

We have a copy of Heroes of Telemark signed by Ray Mears, could be useful for hitting zombies with.

Am going to start on storing body fat, just in case. Christmas chocolate, here I come....

Our house would be as useful as a chocolate teapot in any sort of apocalypse. Be it zombies or looters, it's a bungalow with big windows and basically paper thin walls. The loft is rather big, so at a pinch, we could hide up there but my plan is to make for the mountains.