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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I feel like our wedding is mine, not DP's

76 replies

delmonton · 12/01/2013 07:30

We're getting married in a month. When we decided to do it, DP said he wanted to get married abroad, just us. I said I didn't want this because I thought it would be nothing without family and friends. So we booked the register office then back to ours for a party, very simple.

Then he said he wanted sushi (he eats everything but this is the only food he loves). Initially I agreed, but have now said no, because there will be lots of kids, friends of my parents and other people who might pick at it but won't eat enough to keep them going all afternoon and evening and I just can't have starving guests. Instead I've organised something that includes sushi but also other things and he's agreed muttering that I've overridden what he wants again.

He still hasn't told me who he wants to invite, so they haven't yet been invited- plus no hint of a best man. It's not a traditional wedding at all, but there will be a few speeches so it will look weird if he doesn't have anyone to speak for him. He is a bit anti-social (we are always together, with DS) - however, plenty of my friends have become our friends.

I know you're all going to say he doesn't really seems to want to get married, and in truth he doesn't, but he does want to do it because it's important to me and he doesn't really mind, just hates 'occasions' and dislikes his family (not toxic but a massive emotional drain on us).

Is this a common, that is just become's the woman's 'thing'?

OP posts:
MerylStrop · 13/01/2013 09:03

80 guests!

That is NOT a small wedding

You may be storing up trouble for the future. I can see how if you are inviting 80 people including friends of your parents, your stbDH's family might well be pissed off. That is probably why he wanted a small just the two of you wedding in the first place.

Can you not talk to your DH properly about this? Consider scaling back? Because otherwise you may be storing up trouble for the future.

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