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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why some women don't wear make-up

608 replies

MeganCherry · 11/01/2013 16:00

I'm sure I will get flamed for this but -

I don't mean trowel it on every morning, 3 lots of foundations, eyeshadow, eyeliner etc.

I have quite good skin, so on a usual day I'll wear - mascara and a lipstick/glass. On a bad day I'll probably wear concealer too.

I think make up is about enhancing your features and making the best of them. Me after a sleepless night I look like a zombie, add some concealer and I look like a human being again.

I like to wear make up for me and not to impress my husband or friends or strangers. I just know that I look better when I'm wearing it.

OP posts:

steppemum · 12/01/2013 17:02

and I am really interested that of lot of poster say they don't because they don't need to because they look good.

Actually I don't look good, look my age and at the moment have horrible red patches roudn my eyes as I have reacted to something and they won't clear up.

But that doesn't make me want to go and put make up on. This is me and if you like me you won't be bothered by whether I am wearing mascara or not

AnnieLobeseder · 12/01/2013 17:07

Because I don't want to. Why should I want to "look better"? Women are constantly being told they're not good enough as they are and should improve themselves. I refuse to buy into it.

On the other hand, I look 25 at age 39. I put a lot of that down to having not abused my skin with constant chemical crap for my entire adult life.

So here's an idea - try not wearing makeup. In the long run, you might look better.

insancerre · 12/01/2013 17:08

because I am 45 and people always look like this > when they ask my age when I tell them I have a 16 year old
they then look like this > when I tell them I also have a 23 year old
then they look like this >
I don't wear make-up because I don't need to

AnnieLobeseder · 12/01/2013 17:10

Because I don't want to. Why should I want to "look better"? Women are constantly being told they're not good enough as they are and should improve themselves. I refuse to buy into it.

On the other hand, I look 25 at age 39. I put a lot of that down to having not abused my skin with constant chemical crap for my entire adult life.

So here's an idea - try not wearing makeup. In the long run, you might look better.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 17:10

Who knew this was such a contentious issue! I didn't.

Though I now know that because I wear makeup that I am ; superficial,going to age badly,am not comfortable with myself,am pandering to men and so on. Just waiting for someone to swoop in and call me a handmaiden.

Who exactly is being more judgemental here? Fucking hell!

AnnieLobeseder · 12/01/2013 17:11

Sorry for double post, DH is messing about with the router....

Sparklyboots · 12/01/2013 17:11

I don't wear make up but not because I am trying 'not to conform'. More precisely, I am trying to signal that I am not interested in participating in the kinds of relationships where I play a certain 'feminine' role and others respond to that femininity. I find the view that I 'would benefit' from understanding how to use all of that stuff highly patronising as I am intelligent, successful and have good relationships despite not wearing make-up. Or ever intending to. Or being interested in whether you do or not, OP.

It's a shame to discuss whether or not men are more or less likely to eye someone up on the basis of make up as it does no favour to the many men that I know who are not interested in playing similarly gendered roles and are interested in having (even sexual) relationships with women who do not wear make up. Many men that I know - perhaps it's just that I'm a bit of a hippy and also work in a university context where people are genuinely much more focused on critical and engaging thinking - would be turned off by the notion that they had to participate in conventional masculine/ feminine gameplay and would read make-up as a way of signalling that was an interest of the woman's. I'm not trying to argue that they wouldn't claim that made-up women don't look more conventionally beautiful. But many men as well as women recognise that conventional codes of beauty are culturally constructed and facilitate particular constructions of relationship which they don't find that interesting. It's therefore both cynical and factually inaccurate to label all men as more sexually interested in women who are signalling conventional models of femininity.

droves · 12/01/2013 17:23

I love make up . Seriously love it.

I wear it most days . Some days I wear loads , some days I wear little ( concealer or gloss ) . Some days I don't wear any . Depends how I feel that day.

I'm not anti - feminist . I don't believe it makes me more attractive or hides flaws . It's just an adult version of dressing up & face paint that I loved as a child .

Make up is in the same group as clothes and hairdos ....your either into it or not ....but it's not essential for life , and it won't make you a better person .

marriedinwhite · 12/01/2013 17:33

So, because I wear make-up every day then Annie at 52 I should look about 65 then. Crap - do I look 65 because I wear make-up. but only a little bit because I like it

JustAHolyFool · 12/01/2013 17:36

EmmaBemma same, most of my boyfriends have expressed that they prefer women without make-up.

And to be honest, I wouldn't want to go out with someone who prefers me with make-up.

Sure, it's lovely to see your partner all spruced up, but I'd be a bit hurt if my partner liked me better like that.

Sallyingforth · 12/01/2013 17:48

Feminine
"I was paid a small fortune for my face many moons ago. That is how I know what works!"
Good for you (if that's what you wanted). You were paid for your face, not for your makeup. If makeup could make someone into a model there would not be so many disappointed girls leaving auditions, because agencies would show them how to apply their slap before they went.

PretzelTime · 12/01/2013 17:50

I'm not anti - feminist
I don't think anyone have said that women who wear makeup are anti-feminist.
However posters have been against the idea that women should, and need face paint. OP was inflammatory by suggesting that women who don't wear it are weird.

I do wear makeup just for me sometimes. I put on some crazy rocker eye stuff to go with my mumsy stay at home outfits. Now that's a bit weird.

seeker · 12/01/2013 17:54

Wearing make up is not anti feminist. Mocking, ridiculing, pitying or patronising women who don't is.

AnnieLobeseder · 12/01/2013 17:55

And as for all this "women who don't wear makeup just don't know how and would look good and love it if they had lessons" is patronising bullshit.

I am very skilled at applying makeup. I did my own wedding makeup and have been asked many times to do makeup for others. But for me, it's a creative outlet. Like facepainting or cake decorating. It's for fun, for special occasions. Not for everyday. I just can't get that excited about it and prefer to go without.

bringnbuy · 12/01/2013 17:58

not everyone cares/obsesses about what they look like. i for one don't give a shit. i am happy, contented and am married to an 'earth man' who sees (lord knows why...) beauty in me as i am. i know i would look better with make up but i can't be arsed, i have other more interesting things to do. i think women with too much make up/over fussed with nail varnish etc imo look somehow a bit sad/insecure and desperate :0) although this is only the thought i have when i look at some women, too self aware, you know the ones. and yes, the same women would look at me and think was a hippy scuffy mess i am, but i accept graciously that i am aging naturally, these women will be terribly unhappy watching it go and thus pile on the makeup thicker and be visiting the 'face drs'

Dededum · 12/01/2013 18:03

I find that I can't see the person who is wearing make up. And don't get me started on high heels.

Without make up you can see if I am tired, radiant, stressed, healthy. That is a good thing, don't want to pretend to be something I m not. Find that so tiring.

marriedinwhite · 12/01/2013 18:09

Well I have been up and down the high street twice today without make-up and both times I have hoped not to bump into anyone I know.

Sallyingforth · 12/01/2013 18:11

Well I'm very grateful to the OP for starting this thread (even if it was for a magazine article as has been suggested).
It's good to know that there are so many women who are confident in their own bodies and don't feel obliged to apply chemicals to their skin morning and night "because I'm worth it".
Good on you ladies!

carmenelectra · 12/01/2013 19:31

steppemum, I have the love of my life. I'm certainly not seeking approval from any man.

SoRry but I don't belive vast majority of men prefer women with no make up! Of course not the trowel it on Joan Collins style, but unless the woman is a supermodel, then some. Its a bit like the women who claim their dh's hate porn. Ok, generalising a bit here.

What stands out on this thread though is the way the non make up wearers are getting quite cross. Again, trying to prove(to who?) That they don't need it and won't be pressured. Do they also not do their hair, wear a dress, fake tan, have nails done, in some massive protest to people like me. I'm like a kid in a candy store in a make counter.

PurpleStorm · 12/01/2013 19:34

Carmen - "I do believe rightly or wrongly that men would prefer a made up woman to a bare faced one"

I don't believe this to be true of all men. Some, perhaps, but not all. DH has seen me both with and without make up and shows no preference for me wearing make up that I've been able to detect. In fact he's commented negatively on occasions where he thinks I'm wearing too much make-up.

What DH does prefer is me to be wearing clothes that emphasise my breasts. And skirts, so that he can see my legs. He'd much rather see me bare-faced in a dress than wearing make up with jeans and a T-shirt.

carmenelectra · 12/01/2013 19:59

purplestorm fair enough. At least you admit he finds you attractive wearing a dress. I'd hazrad a guess that most of the make up objectors would also say their dh's don't like dresses, high heels, sexy undies or whatever! They are just proving a point they look great au natural.

This thread is daft.

' I used to wear make up but grew up' eh?

'I look good without make up'

And the best- ' I don't want to hide that I look tired'. You what? Honestly? I bloody do !! That's insane. Oh yes its great looking old and tired. Bloody hell if I've had bad nights with the kids I wanna hide my bags not show em as badges of honour! Please. I'm sure my dp goes to work and his friends say'you look like shit mate'

I look like shit, but radiant.

BegoniaBampot · 12/01/2013 20:22

I rarely wear makeup unless it's a special do or maybe a little on an evening out but even then not always. I have friends who literally cannot go anywhere or be seen withother makeup. Even some in here have said so and Marriedinwhite has been down the high street twice and hoped she didn't meet anyone as she had none on. A find that quite sad really. I've worked in palace where makeup was forbidden, everyone wore the same androgynous type boiler suits and trainers. It's actually quite liberating.

BegoniaBampot · 12/01/2013 20:23

Or a place even, not palace!

Morloth · 12/01/2013 20:37

Why care what men prefer?

I know DH prefers ME if I decided to wear make up he would tell me it looked nice, if I decided to dye my hair blue he would say no worries. Because it is me doing it.

Make up is a political/feminist issue IMO.

Morloth · 12/01/2013 20:39

I work in a extremely 'male' work place, none of the women work with wear make up.

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