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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why some women don't wear make-up

608 replies

MeganCherry · 11/01/2013 16:00

I'm sure I will get flamed for this but -

I don't mean trowel it on every morning, 3 lots of foundations, eyeshadow, eyeliner etc.

I have quite good skin, so on a usual day I'll wear - mascara and a lipstick/glass. On a bad day I'll probably wear concealer too.

I think make up is about enhancing your features and making the best of them. Me after a sleepless night I look like a zombie, add some concealer and I look like a human being again.

I like to wear make up for me and not to impress my husband or friends or strangers. I just know that I look better when I'm wearing it.

OP posts:
carmenelectra · 12/01/2013 16:12

holyfool. Didn't mean to be rude. i don't wear make make up for men, no. I don't particularly like attracting atttention from men as a general rule. Though of course its nice to get compliments. However, what I do think is that some posters on this thread are on an all out mission to prove they don't need make up to be feminine, sexy or look nice.

Sadly, in my experience men are much more likely to eye up women glammed up thean bare faced no matter what they tell their wives.

Crawling · 12/01/2013 16:12

what looks better is a matter of opinion I personally prefer someone without make up to someone with.

LeucanTheMopsis · 12/01/2013 16:17

ROARing at "I have ... used the correct products". Grin

Narked · 12/01/2013 16:19

'Sadly, in my experience men are much more likely to eye up women glammed up thean bare faced no matter what they tell their wives.'

But I thought you didn't wear it for men?

seeker · 12/01/2013 16:19

"Sadly, in my experience men are much more likely to eye up women glammed up thean bare faced no matter what they tell their wives."

Jesus wept.

Anniegetyourgun · 12/01/2013 16:20

That's about the best argument yet for not wearing any.

RubyGates · 12/01/2013 16:21

Feminine I know how to use make-up ( I trained as a dancer, I worked in theatre and music). I hung out with other girls and did the usual experimenting with make-up-and-stuff. I am a "goth" so know how to do pretty complicated and dramatic looks with all manner of cosmetics.

I just don't like it. And despite all that I really do look quite a lot younger than my actual age. Sorry.

LeucanTheMopsis · 12/01/2013 16:21

I think the "I look like a clown" is about perception, not that they've literally scrawled badly over their faces. If you are not used to using make-up then your unadorned face is normal. Anything applied over the top of that is going to look not normal.

I had a professional make-up thingy from Bobbi Brown when I got married. 100% reaction was how fantastic and natural it looked. I saw a clown in the mirror.

seeker · 12/01/2013 16:25

What I find bizarre is the assumption that those of us wh don't wear make up never have and don't know how to. It's as if it's impossible for a woman to make an informed choice not to.

PretzelTime · 12/01/2013 16:26

I'm more likely to stare at a man wearing blue eyeshadow than one who isn't

carmenelectra · 12/01/2013 16:27

Jesus. Why do pick posts apart. I do not wear make up for men. I'm in a ltr and am in my early 40's for Gods sake.

What I'm trying to say is all the women saying they don't need make up they look better etc are saying it so they don't conform to societys obsession with image. Thing is, its the way it is guys and these posters who think their dhs prefer women without are kidding themselves.

Some folk are here are desperate to prove a point. I look great etc. Like I said, really?

carmenelectra · 12/01/2013 16:34

annie you illustrate my point beautifully. Turning a make up thread into a political/feminist one.

I wear make up cos I like dressing up looking glam, enhancing what I've got, or sometimes just brightening up my face when I've been woken with the kids and have work the next day.

Don't do it for men or my man either. However, I do believe rightly or wrongly that men would prefer a made up woman to a bare faced one. That's not why I wear it though. In fact, the whole male view is a totally separate issue.

seeker · 12/01/2013 16:35

There is very rarely anyone as desperate to prove a point as a woman saying she wears make up/high heels/gets a boob job/waxes her pubic hair/wears a corset, a thong,split crotch pants or a push up bra/pole dances/goes to burlesque shows "for her".

LouiseFisher · 12/01/2013 16:38

Its clearly an individuals choice to wear make-up or not. Some people believe its part of whom they are. I personally don't wear too much make-up as I don't really need to. It depends on an individuals fashion style, therefore varies for every different individual. I know this beautiful girl who had flawless skin and never used to wear make-up at all however, due to a medical illness her skin become incredibly infected and marked, which is why she relies on make-up now everyday to make her feel better. Even though, she's a beautiful girl she doesn't believe she looks beautiful if she doesn't wear make-up now to hide these marks. Times can change and therefore is an individual choice between wearing make-up or not and for what purpose.

FloatyBeatie · 12/01/2013 16:38

I don't think it would bother me at all if my dh said he found women with make up on more sexually attractive than women without. So what? I'm not out to make a conquest of any man. It is entirely the thought of judgey women that makes me spread a little bit of make-up on sometimes when I go out. Now that I am middle aged I increasingly suspect (utterly correctly judging by this thread) that some women just think it is wrong in some way to go out looking tired/dull/your-age. Almost like not washing properly.

I don't want to stick out, so I conform, to the extent of putting on a bit of foundation. Annoying.

soverylucky · 12/01/2013 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

treas · 12/01/2013 16:40

PretzelTime - have to say I preferred him with the soot rather than the lippy Grin

MeganCherry - I don't wear make-up on a daily basis as I don't feel the need to. My own mother never wore it unless going out somewhere special, like myself, and she has beautiful skin and is always mistaken for being 10 years younger than she is.

That said I did wear make-up as a teen when I actually cared about other's opinion but then I grew up.

EmmaBemma · 12/01/2013 16:44

I hardly wear make up these days. On a rare night out I'll put some mascara and lip gloss on as some way of marking that it's an occasion, but otherwise I don't bother. I really like not having to worry about eyeliner smudges in my eye socket creases and all that sort of thing, and I do think that in general my skin has been in better nick since I stopped wearing foundation. I do take care of my appearance in other ways - I have dark eyebrows which I keep well shaped with my Tweezermans, I have my hair cut every 6 weeks, I iron my clothes and so on. I think I'm reasonably well turned out! It's just the make-up I can't be faffed with. I read the beauty pages in Sunday supplements as if they're in another language.

EmmaBemma · 12/01/2013 16:47

"I do believe rightly or wrongly that men would prefer a made up woman to a bare faced one"

Not so, in my experience! All my exes, and my husband, have said they don't like make-up. However I see your point to an extent because what they probably mean is they don't like Barbara Cartland type make up.

Alisvolatpropiis · 12/01/2013 16:51

Not really sure the "I used to wear makeup but then I grew up" style posts are any better than the ones saying women are unattractive without makeup to be honest.

steppemum · 12/01/2013 16:51

I can't read the whole threa, but I had to post as the op's attitude is so opposite to what I am and believe

If you want to wear it fine, go ahead, your choice and no judging of you from me.

I don't most days because

  1. I am confident in myself not to feel the need to hide behind anything. This is me.
  2. I am just not bothered if I 'look my best' as looks are not the most important part of life. I would be bothered if I was behaving in an unattractive way.
  3. my skin is sensitive, so I like to not add extra products to it
  4. I am not interested in impressing anyone
  5. because I am SAHM and my day might include painting the walls or digging the garden and don't feel the need to wear make up for that
  6. because I have 2 dds and I want them to know that you are enough and you value doesn't come from looks

because I don't want to, don't care, am not in the mood, was too busy

Surely the question is why do you want to wear it every day?

I love to dress up and wear make up for an occasion. But I just don't understand why I 'should' wear it every day

chickensarmpit · 12/01/2013 16:52

Surely wearing make up everyday is damaging to your skin anyway? Plus i always end up looking like a clown when i put my slap on.

ImKateandsoismywife · 12/01/2013 16:55

I never used to leave the house without makeup on (just a bit of foundation and mascara) but since having dcs I really can't be arsed! I don't like the way it feels on my skin and I spend my days at toddler groups and playdates with small dcs and mums who don't wear makeup either so I really don't see the point.

steppemum · 12/01/2013 16:56

carmen - my dhs doesn't like women in make-up.

First date I arrived with lipstick on, he was really disconcerted. I knew him already as a friend, and this wasn't 'me'

For him, love and marriage is about friendship and he fell in love with me as I am.

I am sure he finds attractive women attractive, but that isn't actually the same thing as long term love is it?

Anniegetyourgun · 12/01/2013 16:57

" annie you illustrate my point beautifully. Turning a make up thread into a political/feminist one."

Political? Feminist? Confused

Just don't want to be leched over by other people's husbands, that's all.