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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel aggrieved with this mum or am I having a sense of humour failure?

100 replies

poachedeggs · 10/01/2013 19:26

DS is 5 and did something very naughty at school today which caused damage. He and his friend have been severely reprimanded by the class and head teachers, plus the janitor. DS is very remorseful (to the extent that he offered to give the contents of his piggy bank to the head in order to pay for repairs!) and it has been taken seriously all round.

So I'm mightily pissed off that a mum from the class has posted on Facebook, tagging myself and the other boy's mum, gleefully tutting because shed heard all about it from her child. I will struggle to contain myself should her angel child step out of line in the future.

Trying to feel lighthearted about it but tbh I'm gutted, disappointed in DS and really cross that it's so fucking amusing.

OP posts:

Original poster

poachedeggs · 10/01/2013 19:47

He and his mate somehow managed to flood the toilets :(

Quite a few people have liked the status. I just replied saying "there have been strong words in this house". Hilarious.

OP posts:

nilbyname · 10/01/2013 19:49

Well, she has shown a staggering amount of insensitivity. She is a social clod, so let her have her FB fun and be assured that 99.9% of normal people will think she is a bit of a fanny.

DrSeuss · 10/01/2013 19:50

DS (6) tells me loads of stuff about what his classmates get up to, quite unbidden. I just make no committal noises along the lines of, "Gooodness". It would never occur to me to tell this to the world!

Bosgrove · 10/01/2013 19:52

YABU, and I know how you feel about your son, when DS was in Y1, after the children had gone into school one morning the parents were called into a meeting with their lovely, but possibly scary if you are 5 and she is cross, teacher. Someone had broken a new expensive toy in the classroom and wouldn't own up to it. We were all asked to speak to our children about it after school.

Well, we had a playdate that night with 2 other boys in the class, so as he ran to me I asked him if he knew anything about it and he straight away told me that he 'accidently' broke some of it and he told me who else was involved. We went straight back to tell the teacher about our/his involvement, but I didn't want to give her the rest of the names (to give them time to confess on their own)

On the way to the playdate, one of the other Mums was giving it "the my son wouldn't do it" etc, when her son was one of the others involved. After putting up with her judging attitude for about 15 minutes, I told her what DS had said, and when she confronted her DS, he confessed as well.

DS wrote a letter that night to his teacher saying sorry and we offered to pay, and we still don't know if the third boy ever confessed, but in no way would I have ever told / emailed/ facebook etc of anyone else involvement. It is not on, we don't know what happened and no children are perfect.

chipsandpeas · 10/01/2013 19:54

change your facebook settings so you have to approve all tags then she wont get away with anyting like this again

TandB · 10/01/2013 19:55

Stupid cowbag!

I would be inclined to call her on it and post a comment saying something like "I'm actually not at all happy about what happened. The school have quite rightly taken it very seriously and it's not very pleasant having to deal with an angry headteacher and a now very upset child. I find it quite upsetting that everyone is discussing this so publicly and laughing about it. I'm sure you didn't mean any harm but please do think before you post things like this in future - I'm sure none of you would be terribly happy if it was your child being talked about."

I would bet money on a whole load of apologetic PMs!

marmalade32 · 10/01/2013 19:58

You're all more mature than me obviously. I would have been compelled to reply to her comment saying something along the lines of "Really ? Telling tales on a child ?"

ProphetOfDoom · 10/01/2013 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TandB · 10/01/2013 20:00

It's not intended to be gracious

It's intended to be direct, embarrassing and ever so slightly patronising! And would hopefully have subsequent commenters scuttling to distance themselves from the original poster.

Original poster

poachedeggs · 10/01/2013 20:01

I honestly don't think I'll respond further on FB if no more is said because I don't want to get into an undignified public disagreement, but I'm reassured that I'm not being silly about it.

I think when I next see her I should say something direct but I'm really not good at anything vaguely resembling conflict! But I think on behalf of DS I ought to point out that it was an unkind thing to do.

OP posts:

PoohBearsHole · 10/01/2013 20:02

What a weird thing to do! So cares if they flooded them, quite frankly the time it takes to flood a loo means someone was not paying attention to two five year olds for a significant amount of time. Ludicrous, try turning that back on the school!!

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 20:02

yanbu what a cowbag her not you Id untag myself and block her so not funny really it isn't, smug cow again her not you

Pandemoniaa · 10/01/2013 20:02

I'd block her. Then she can't tag you in anything. The other bonus is that you'll not have to read anything she writes on Facebook.

Anonymumous · 10/01/2013 20:10

I know I'm being a bit of a thickie here, but what is 'tagging'?

Personally I think I would put a post on her page saying, "You'll never guess what I saw your kid doing this morning..." and put the wind up her a bit!

TandB · 10/01/2013 20:12

Ooh yes! Do what anonymumous said!

waltermittymistletoe · 10/01/2013 20:13

It is a weird thing to do but...

Was she maybe thinking it was quite funny? A pair of tiny tots flooding a bathroom sort of thing?

I'm not saying she was right to do it but tagging you in it implies she thought you'd all have a "boys will be boys" type laugh, no?

Original poster

poachedeggs · 10/01/2013 20:26

Probably, Walter, but I'd never dream of posting about someone's DC's misdemeanours . How can you be sure your own wouldn't be the next to misbehave?!

OP posts:

waltermittymistletoe · 10/01/2013 20:42

No, nor would I tbh. And chances are one of my angels would be the one misbehaving!

I just thought I'd point out the possibility so that maybe you'd be less upset by it. If it was a misguided but innocent attempt at humour if feel better than if it was bitchy and intended as nasty gossip IYSWIM!

amazingmumof6 · 10/01/2013 20:45

poachedeggs, print out these comments and give it to her for a leisurely read!

also just to let you know that you are not alone, I have 5 sons who regularly stuff way too much paper in the loo at home and have fooded our bathrooms before.
the worst was a few years ago when my DS2 flooded grandma's bathroom, causing the water to come through the ceiling into the kitchen, short circuiting the lights, thus causing a power cut.
and of all the days of the year he managed to do this on Christmas Day!!!!!!
we laugh now, but it was so embarrassing....

amazingmumof6 · 10/01/2013 20:45

*flooded

TheNebulousBoojum · 10/01/2013 20:59

Flooded the toilets? How unoriginal.

My beloved DS spent a week creating a boy-sized hole in the fence between the school and the woods, then used to disappear into the woods at lunchtime.
It was over a month before they found out what had happened.

YANBU, and she will be sorry when her beloved cocks up as there will be many waiting for her to fall on her metaphorical arse. And snigger.

Yfronts · 10/01/2013 20:59

I don't know your sense of humor or hers. I'm on the fence.

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 21:04

know I'm being a bit of a thickie here, but what is 'tagging'?

where somebody does a status and then clicks a friends name to appear at the end of a status they tag them so their name appears in the status or link or picture

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 21:05

^My beloved DS spent a week creating a boy-sized hole in the fence between the school and the woods, then used to disappear into the woods at lunchtime.
It was over a month before they found out what had happened.^

That is genuis very naughty ( whistles the great escape music )

Viviennemary · 10/01/2013 21:08

I think this is outrageous. I didn't think this was allowed under Facebook regulations. Posting things about children without the parents consent. I'd put in a complaint.

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