to hate driving because it makes me nervous

[Georgia1982]

I have a car and have driven on and off for a few years, although I only tend to do local driving.

I get really nervous before I drive anywhere, and I absolutely hate roundabouts, changing lane etc.

Am I alone or do others feel the same?

YANBU to hate driving but you should really do something about it rather than put yourself an other road users in danger by being reluctant to change lane or nervous on roundabouts. Get some follow-up lessons and improve your confidence before getting back behind a wheel. 'Nervous' is dangerous.

You need lots of practise, the only way to stop feeling like this is to drive every day, even if it is just for 10 mins. Each day come back home a different way, ten if it is just a different road so you get experience. It will pass :)

How about some refresher lessons or an advance driving course?

I have felt like that before after a long break from driving. I had no choice but to drive on motorways/around London for work and now I'm very confident. Sounds like you could do with some practice when there is no pressure to be anywhere.

For about 6 months after passing my test I was a nervous wreck. I'd get in the car and have to run through the whole journey in my head, then calm myself down before even starting the engine. I had been known to drive miles & miles out of my way just to avoid certain roundabouts or tricky multiple lane.changes.

The thing is, back then I didn't drive very often. Then I moved jobs & had a 40 mile round trip every day, plus started doing more driving at the weekends, and I quickly became much more confident. I would guess that it only took a few weeks of driving every day before I stopped feeling physically sick at the thought of driving & became much more comfortable and confident.

From my personal experience, I would suggest that you simply drive more. Even if it's to nowhere in particular. It makes driving seem like just another normal thing to do instead of only driving occasionally and so building driving up in your head as being this big event.

I gave up lessons because of nerves and failed my test , so when dd passed and then got a car we had her go out all the time as she was the same and wouldn't drive anywhere other than work and college, I had her take me here there and everywhere just to build up her confidence, she has been driving over a year now and worked at a panto over christmas 40 miles away from home so she was motorway and she is planning to drive to some festival in the summer , get out and drive build up your confidence,

yes. i feel the same. had x3 car accidents in the space of about 3 months and completely went off driving. funny considering my job at the time involved a big commute on the m6/m42. i dont drive anywhere really now except around my home town and maybe to a few neighbouring towns i know the roundabout lane rules to inside out. i will only go at times the roads wont be busy. i even have to get google earth out and look at the roundabout road markings as sometimes the lanes are blocked out or changed (eg 2 lane now made into 1 lane).
ive had a refresher lesson with a lovely driving instructor and am planning on having another on to get over the roundabout thing.

I have to disagree with the person who said nervous is dangerous - not always the case. Confident and aware is much better than nervous, but over-confident and aggressive is far more dangerous than nervous - most drivers like that live round me.

OP, I often hate driving as it can make me nervous. The more I drive, at different times of day, the better my nerves are. I would really recommend this. Also, talking to myself when I drive if I'm having a nervous day helps me. I have a CD in my car with all my favourite songs on which relaxes me a bit - I think I associate the music with being more relaxed, so it initiates some sort of Pavlovian response and I do relax - every little helps.

I think the endless pressure to become A Super Awesome Confident Driver and believe Isn't Driving Super Fun etc is just stupid and weird, yes to a degree when I've been driving a lot over a couple of weeks my nerves fade and a bit of enjoyment creeps in, but that's normally if I have to do a lot of pre-7am driving - it's never been the driving that's the problem, it's other drivers. When they're all safely in bed not driving into other people, it's fun to an extent but when I really want to treat myself to a nice day out, I get the bloody bus.

Don't put yourself under pressure. Try to do a bit more, and try to cover an unfamiliar road or roundabout or junction once a week/fortnight, perhaps with supportive company in the car. You don't have to love driving, it's not possible for everyone to love driving, that's just a load of crap. But you don't have to feel like you're being hunted down by other drivers, or something's going to go wrong, or you're doing it wrong, or what have you. I would recommend you work at it until you are sure you are a safe driver, you trust your instincts.

It makes me nervous but only until I'm actually in the car. Once I'm actually sat in the driver's seat I'm fine.

I had a couple of refresher lessons after not driving for a while a few years ago (Dh always had the car for work). I only had 2. When I asked to book the 3rd the bloke told me I didn't need it. He said my driving was fine and to just get on with it

There's certain bits of road though that make me particularly nervous - those places where locals know how the road layout works but anyone not familiar with it causes havoc.

YANBU, I feel exactly like you. Mind you, I have quite a few friends in their forties who can't drive at all, so don't forget to be proud of yourself for being able to drive in the first place! Too often we get belittled for being nervous when actually we have achieved something!!!!
I find familiarization is the key, so the more routes you master the better you will feel. Sometimes I can do a "difficult" stretch of road just because I am so used to it, then I remember, YAY that was a roundabout, a dual carriage way, lane change, and I DID IT, so I can do more.

Next year dd is going to a secondary school which is out of my comfort zone driving wise, and I'm hoping I can use the chance to drop her off OFTEN, and practise that way.

I am also hoping to have CBT to tackle some of my nervous driving issues; that sounds a bit sledgehammery but I think it has gone on too long and I Need to Face what is worrying me.

And I am beginning to find I really love driving when I am on a familiar easy bit of road, music on radio, and it is "me" time. I can see how people would enjoy driving in general... in a way I never really grasped before, independence, freedom, all that lark...

take some lessons and stay off the road until you feel more confident. You are a danger to yourself and others. Hopefully some refresher lessons will sort this.

and well done on having the balls to admit 'I'm not a good driver'!!

I'd much rather a nervous driver was on the road than an over confident one. Confident does not always mean 'good.'

Oh forgot to say, you say you only do local driving. I was guilty of this until recently when I got given a sat nav. I drove to a vaguely familiar nearby town (I'd normally have been the passenger, so would have sat there saying inane things like, 'ooh look, sheeps' and not paying any attention to the road) and I got horribly lost, the terribly posh lady on my sat nav got quite cross with me, so then I was apologising/shouting at her, parked up and had to get a real good grip otherwise I would've been stuck. The trip back was exactly the same, got lost several times, instructions made no sense, etc...

What happened during the above though was I realised on unfamiliar roads, with a basic sat nav that didn't tell me what lane I needed to be in, or what speed limit the current road had, I read the road well in advance, I looked for speed signs and read road signs and thought about my lane positioning if approaching a roundabout. The logic you are taught as a learner is transferable. It works everywhere. Therefore you are equipped with the skills to drive anywhere. It's not like roads elsewhere are completely incomprehensible. The landscape will be different but the laws are the same. You can do it.

Practice makes perfect, the more you drive the greater your confidence will become.

Maybe think about an advanced driving course.

No she is NOT a danger to other drivers. What a horrible post. I haven't had an accident since I passed my test 9 years ago, overconfident drivers are far more likely to have accidents which is why 17 year old men are the most expensive to insure.
Don't listen to special OP. If you passed your test you are safe to drive.

purrpurr what you say is really interesting, and I will think about it next time I get nervous about unfamiliar roads, which is, that there is no difference - all roads are marked in the same way have same basic rules. I think it is a pyschological block, rather than a skills block. Thanks

how can she be a danger because of nerves what a horrible thing to say Id say over zealous drivers are much more dangerous than nervous drivers imo

I think you need more practice :)

I agree that some refresher lessons would be a good idea to build your confidence

"I have to disagree with the person who said nervous is dangerous - not always the case. "

Nervous drivers are over hesitant, don't react normally to traffic situations and are therefore a danger to themselves and other road users. The OP is particularly nervous on roundabouts and when changing lanes.... two specific driving situations where accidents are very likely to happen. The OP needs to get more practise and improve her confidence. Not become reckless.

Cogito, "Nervous drivers are over hesitant, don't react normally to traffic situations and are therefore a danger to themselves and other road users." What a lovely blanket statement. And entirely false. They are not always over hesitant, they do not always react abnormally to traffic situations and they are not always a danger to themselves and other road users. What an entirely unhelpful comment that is simply not true.

I'm a nervous driver but I am decisive, I read the road well ahead, behind and at all sides (because of my nerves, I'm keen to know what's going on all around me at all times) and I react fast to situations that develop in front of me - other drivers behaving in strange ways, veering between lanes for example, or realising they've made a mistake in their lane choice and diving over at the last second right in front of me.

To be fair, I drive a ridiculously stigmatised vehicle - you end up behind one and you curse your luck because drivers of my car have a reputation for driving verrrrrrrrrrrrry slowly and making bad decisions, so those behind me start off looking as though they'll do anything to get around me - before they calm down and back off when they realise I'm driving like a normal person.

Nerves, in my case, and in a lot of cases, are a positive attribute to my driving capabilities. I'm focused, aware, proactive and I have quick reactions.

You're not a nervous driver purrpurr, you're a cautious driver. That's an entirely different thing.

When I passed my test the examiner said that I drove extremely well and I only had 2 minors, one for jerky steering for a nano second and the other because she asked me to pull over in a safe place and I missed the opportunity - so neither of them major things.

I was still very nervous at first when driving on my own. Confidence does not mean experience and as someone said teens are SO expensive to insure as they are super confident but doesn't on the whole make them good drivers as insurance premiums reflect.

I was a very nervous driver after passing my test. I would only drive around my town and the nearest town that is about 10 miles away (where I had taken my driving test). This wasn't helped by a prang I had a couple of months after buying my first car and just starting to explore a bit more. I also had this irrational fear that I would never find a parking space at my destination (because I was a bad parker) and would drive around and around until I had to give up and drive home.

What solved it for me was getting a job that required a lot of driving in a company car. I felt I wasn't constantly on edge at the thought of the car breaking down (I had no money so wouldn't have been able to pay for repairs). I also just had to plug locations into my sat nav and go. It has taught me a lot about road positioning- for example if I can see on my sat nav that in half a mile I will be turning right at a roundabout, I know I need to get into the right hand lane. Signs for roundabouts often appear too late!

I also use Susan Jeffer's mantra "Whatever happens, I'll handle it". If I'm driving and I come across a situation I'm unsure of or a new road layout, I have to handle it and I don't worry about it.

I agree with others saying you should take some refresher lessons. Then you can experience other road layouts with help. I found it helpful to always be watching when a passenger to see how other people negotiate cities.

Forgot to say, I also found that once I was more relaxed with the basics of driving, I was more observant and able to predict the behavious of others. You soon realise what to look out for which allows you to plan ahead.