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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a busy life is no excuse for not giving your child breakfast?

237 replies

exBrightonBell · 08/01/2013 18:31

Just watched the BBC news about a school which will be giving all its pupils a free breakfast. Amongst the reasons for children not being given breakfast at home was having a busy life. They interviewed a mum who said that their mornings were too late and busy to reliably give the children breakfast, and that she didn't have time to have an argument about it. She seemed to think that this was completely reasonable. AIBU to think that this isn't a reasonable excuse? Poverty and neglect are both reasons why children don't get breakfast at home, but parents being too busy? Really?

OP posts:
TantrumsAndBalloons · 09/01/2013 07:49

I think the point is there's a big difference between chikdren who cannot eat in the morning and children who are not being given the option of breakfast at home.
My DH can't eat before 9am. He starts work at 5am so he takes those microwave porridge things to work and eats at 9am.
My niece can't eat early in the morning so she has a smoothie before school and a snack at first break.
Not everyone can eat early in the morning.

But to say you are too busy to make breakfast is absurd. My 9 year old makes his own toast and cereal in the morning.
I suppose if breakfast is not a priority and the parents in the article haven't been giving their children breakfast every day, the chikdren aren't suddenly going to get up and start making their own.

For as much as I think it's ludicrous not to make/provide breakfast before school, if the scheme will help children like this and also children who cannot afford to have breakfast every day, it can only be a good thing.

I worry it will not actually cure the problem itself though, so when the children go to secondary school for example there will be no one to ensure they have a decent breakfast.

lljkk · 09/01/2013 07:50

I suspect the facts of story have been distorted. Or at least, school has explained quickly without nuance. DS went to school breakfast club for a while. If child has to be on school premises by 8:50am but refuses to eat until 3pm, that could be recorded as "not enough time/too busy" to eat, but actually it's because he's a stubborn little sod and enjoys the control freakery of not eating (some days).

Putting DS in a room of other children scoffing toast & Jam might be enough to tempt DS to eat after all.

DS would eat crisps for breakfast if I let him, I can see why some folk resort to that, too.

I used to go to school with no breakfast all the time! My parents had no clue. Had no impact on any part of my life. I still find breakfast a hard meal to get interested in.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/01/2013 07:57

Here in Scotland it's schools who are deemed to be within high areas of deprivation that offer free school dinners to all p1, 2 and free pupils, not every school.

Psammead · 09/01/2013 08:00

Parents being too busy to offer food to their children? Albeit via breakfast club, or mid-morning snack for non-breakfasters when necessary....

Too busy to feed your child? What the hell are they too busy with that stops them providing nutrition to their offspring? When you have children that is your job. Your number 1, top priority job.

What's next? Too busy to get your child dressed so the government provides free clothing at school? Too busy to bathe your child so compulsory school showers each morning? Too busy to pick up your child from school so they just live there? Ffs.

This has got to be one of the saddest, most passing-the-buck of responsibility bullshit I ever heard.

MrsKeithRichards · 09/01/2013 08:02

1, 2 and free? 3!

whois · 09/01/2013 08:04

Parents who are unable to provide food in the mornings, either a sit down breakfast at home, a sandwich to eat later on or money to buy breakfast from a breakfast club, are neglectful pure and simple. No excuses.

I don't eat breakfast at home as I prefer to eat an hour later at work. If my children were the same I'd pack them off with a jam sandwich or banana or yogurt or whatever.

If I couldn't afford those kind of breakfast items they would be eating porridge at home.

Bonsoir · 09/01/2013 08:06

Not feeding children properly or at regular times has become widespread.

Catering properly for a family is quite a lot of work. Many parents are exceedingly busy and tired and children bear the brunt of their parents' over-stretched lives.

BunFagFreddie · 09/01/2013 08:08

DS was another breakfast refuser and still is. It was more of a control freakery thing, as lljkk says. He would request the most bizzare and ridiculous things, which I didn't have of course and suddenly annouce that he had gone off certain foods. In fact, he did this with all meals and all food apart from chocolate and crisps! He's the most stubborn and awkward person in the world at times.

I was a working single mum at the time, so he did eat breakfast at the breakfast club, which was a paid one for working parents. He also used to eat at my DM's on days she took him to school, but I found out she was giving him the most awful sugary cereals. DS's school only allowed children to eat at lunch time. Taking a snack at lunch time wasn't an option, because they had to put their lunch boxes in the hall. Asking about DS having a snack at break time just resulted in a snooty teacher being all snidey about the fact that I couldn't manage get DS to eat breakfast. Bitch.

realcoalfire · 09/01/2013 08:12

'In Scotland - not sure whether it still stand in these time of economic hardship - KS1 has free school dinners - every pupil'

see this + free pensions, free care homes and cheap student fees makes me hope scotland devolves!

lljkk · 09/01/2013 08:17

Whois the school wouldn't let them eat those things, ime! Or not until morning snack time (maybe banana), the others not allowed at all. They wouldn't want other children clamouring "Why can't I have a yogurt/banana/jam sandwich" too.

jamdonut · 09/01/2013 08:20

Children can buy fruit at school in yrs 3-6 at morning break. Some children rely on this as they get absolutely nothing at home. Foundation and yr 1 - 2 get fruit anyway. You can always tell the children who have had no breakfast,or even a drink. They are listless ,pale and continually complain of stomach ache or headache. (Mind you,this often applies to the ones who were watching DVD's in their rooms till gone midnight Hmm)

jamdonut · 09/01/2013 08:23

lljkk - will you still have those things, if Scotland devolves though? I wouldn't count my chickens....

LineRunner · 09/01/2013 08:52

So in fact, encouraging not discouraging a snack time at an early first break would generally be a good thing in the primary sector?

Cheap, effective, covers a lot of bases, addresses the multiple causes of breakfastlessness discussed ^^.

valiumredhead · 09/01/2013 09:10

Who hasn't chucked their kid a cereal bar or piece of toast in the back of the car on the way to school

Me, never, wouldn't occur to me!

So the council pays 700k because parents are too lazy/disorganised to sort out breakfast? I'm stunned!

There is a tuck shop at ds's school which is provided so the kids can buy breakfast as loads won't have had it. Ds told me his mate always buys a bacon roll as he is starving by then 'because his mum doesn't 'do' breakfast' and he gets tummy pains. Ffs.

At ds's old school in London, the head used to provide breakfast in the staff room during SATS to ensure the best results. Funny and sad in equal measures.

Flobbadobs · 09/01/2013 09:19

DS is going through a bit of a refusnik stage at the moment, I make him breakfast but he generally gets something from the cafe at school as well. I have to admit I get a bit annoyed as I make him toast, he eats about 6 bites of it then he goes into school and apparently buys himself 4 slices of sodding toast! Which is very hypocritical of me really as I don't eat breakfast till I've done the school run... Blush
YANBU OP, it takes next to no time to put some breakfast together, I'm not exactly the most organised of people but I can still feed 2 older children and a baby who still has milk as well as cereal in the morning, plus I have a mindee coming most mornings and DS sets off for school early.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 09/01/2013 09:25

I get how people could struggle financially. And nothing wrong with breakfast clubs as you are still paying to provide them
Breakfast, it's a child care option invaluable to many working parents. and I can also see how it can be a squeeze for full time working parents on shifts bit they still manage to chuck a banana and a carton of juice at the kids.

But... When packed lunches can be done night before. Meal prep also. Or batch cooking at weekends etc. when... When its the mum dad home to take kids to school which starts at half eight/nine and u get up
At six- if ur not feeding the kids just what exactly is it that u spend two hours doing? What can take so long that u can't chuck them
A cereal bar in the car/bus on way?

ReindeerBollocks · 09/01/2013 09:31

I amazed that parents don't have the time to feed their (presumably NT DC's) in the morning.

This morning I have had to find the time to do DC1's IV antibiotics, physio and two nebulisers alongside his usual things. DC1 doesn't tend to like food but we have high calorie milkshakes for him instead and he has two of these alongside his daytime meds.

I hate mornings (and really struggle with the 6:30 starts) but if I can do all of the above before 9 then parents who fail to just do the basics are guilty of neglect ( excluding those whose DC's won't eat / eat later in the morning). There really is no excuses for failing to feed a child breakfast.

(for all those parents whose DC's don't eat - try milkshakes - DC1 can squeeze one in and I feel slightly happier knowing his tummy has something in it, it has really helped take away food stresses in the morning).

TheBrideofMucky · 09/01/2013 09:35

I have another food refuser here. Luckily he will eat at breakfast club because he sees other children eating there and I need to use it as I start work at 8.30 sharp (sometimes 8am) and DH leaves the house at 7.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 09/01/2013 09:38

Myself and dp don't eat breakfast ourselves, we just can't eat that early. But it never crossed our minds to let the kids go without. Ds2 is like us but he'll eat a yogurt, never cereal that early though.

Breakfast is the only meal of the day dd eats well at, of she didn't have breakfast shed starve as she rarely eats her lunch at school and picks at dinner.

There have been mornings we've slept through alarms and not woken up til gone 8.30 but id rather ne even later than send them in hungry.

badguider · 09/01/2013 09:45

As lots have said it is easy to not have time for a child who won't really eat in the mornings, who sits at the table for half an hour or longer fiddling with rice krispies and being generally unenthusiastic.... the woman on the tv said she 'didn't have time for an arguement' which implies her ds was not a 'sit down and eat without issues' child.
Getting up an hour earlier is not going to help with a child who doesn't want to eat breakfast... and techniques for encouraging eating at other meals do not work when everybody knows that there is a clock on.

LineRunner · 09/01/2013 09:46

I wonder, if parents who just don't 'do' breakfast are to some extent the same parents who find it difficult to get their children to school on time, I don't suppose they'll make it to the breakfast club anyway? (Assuming it takes place before school starts.) So they'd still be better off with an early break snack arranegment.

(When my DCs were at primary there were families whose DCs were late every single day. I used to meet them walking to school when I was nearly back home again.)

FreePeaceSweet · 09/01/2013 09:49

The school involved is the one my cousin sends her dd to. I'm just relieved that her dd is going to be getting at least one decent meal a day. My cousins first priority is not bread, milk and cornflakes. Angry

LineRunner · 09/01/2013 09:51

FreePeace, what time does the breakfast club start? Will your cousin's DD get there in time ok?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 09/01/2013 09:56

They either eat it or go without. What's to argue about? Surely if you do have a child that can't eat that early then the argument wouldnt be "too busy" it would be " s/he just can't eat at that time" And u as others have said you would put something in their bag for when u got there.

If the argument is just its the wrong cereal or "I'm not eating that" or just being difficult on purpose then let them go til lunch. Tough. No one who has a food refuser would say they were to busy surely?

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 09/01/2013 09:58

Kids argue about everything. U wouldn't take them to school naked of they argued about clothes. It's what they do.