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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that a busy life is no excuse for not giving your child breakfast?

237 replies

exBrightonBell · 08/01/2013 18:31

Just watched the BBC news about a school which will be giving all its pupils a free breakfast. Amongst the reasons for children not being given breakfast at home was having a busy life. They interviewed a mum who said that their mornings were too late and busy to reliably give the children breakfast, and that she didn't have time to have an argument about it. She seemed to think that this was completely reasonable. AIBU to think that this isn't a reasonable excuse? Poverty and neglect are both reasons why children don't get breakfast at home, but parents being too busy? Really?

OP posts:
MrsMelons · 08/01/2013 19:51

Astley it is £1 for a litre = 2 pints!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 08/01/2013 19:53

I saw this on Daybreak this morning and think it's a disgrace that parents don't feed their kids breakfast purely because they can't be arsed. If your child can't eat that early but you provide them a snack for break time, that's one thing. So is a child care style breakfast club. But if a parent is just too lazy to get up early enough or is too 'disorganised' to feed their DC in the morning, that's not acceptable. Makes you wonder if they get fed on weekend mornings.

DS and I love breakfast. I find a decent breakfast stops me from snacking on crap mid-morning, which must be the same for kids too. Even if we're running late, we still eat. I can't think of any occasion when we didn't eat breakfast. Not being smug, just stating a fact.

And the cost of running the breakfast clubs in that LA - something else must have lost out to fund that. I mean, how hard is it to give your DC toast and juice, ffs?

Astley · 08/01/2013 19:58

MrsMelons, it's really not, I only bought it 20 minutes ago and it quite clearly says 4' pints and cost me a pound.

exBrightonBell · 08/01/2013 19:59

Birdsgottafly, I agree that those who need it should get a free breakfast at school, much like they get a free lunch. But i have a few thoughts about how to implement it, and I'm not sure that the way being trialled in Blackpool is ideal. I also think that parents who are not generally chaotic and neglectful need to understand that they are responsible for ensuring their child has a suitable breakfast.

At some point schools cannot continue to take on parenting responsibilities for all children. Otherwise they will eventually turn into children's homes.

OP posts:
MrsMelons · 08/01/2013 20:02

Where do you live? THATS IT I'm bloody moving Grin

I think we may occasionally have offers for 2 for £2 but usually 2 for £3 so about £1 for 2 pints, £1.50 for 4.

Hmmm - I need to be deal searching more!!

Notcontent · 08/01/2013 20:03

I think providing free breakfast is just a quick fix and not addressing the bigger issue, which is a lack of parenting skills. As others have said, breakfast is a really cheap meal to make. You can make porridge in the microwave for only a few pence a serve. There are so many other cheap options.

I am a lone parent who works. I am also not a morning person. But from the time my dd started school I instigated a routine which involves breakfast. When she was in reception I sometimes had to coax her to just have a few mouthfuls of her breakfast. But there is absolutely no way I would have let her go to school without any breakfast.

Astley · 08/01/2013 20:04

Scotland Grin

alistron1 · 08/01/2013 20:04

Astley, it's a pretty well documented fact that areas of deprivation are not well served by the big/cheap supermarkets. Yes, there are such things as buses, and even taxi's - but they cost money. And someone who is on a very limited income can not afford to hop on a bus to take advantage of a 19p box of cornflakes.

Factor in the issue that single parents might have a baby or a toddler or two in tow - it makes it very difficult to take advantage of economy of scale/offers if you are transporting kids plus a weeks worth of shopping home on the bus.

This isn't woolly leftie liberalism, this isn't an argument plucked out of thin air - people in areas of deprivation are often locked in to buying food from more expensive smaller stores. This in turn means that people can't afford healthy options like fresh meat, fruit or vegetables. And it leaves them screwed if they run of out essential items before their next money is due.

In the same way that people are locked into prepayment meters for energy. it's more expensive than a direct debit - and if you run out of electricity on a sunday night, but your child benefit isn't due until Tuesday morning you can't make toast/porridge or boil an egg.

It is a fact that families (and thus children) are going hungry - look at the expansion of food banks over the past 12 months.

I think people typing away saying stuff like 'Breakfast is non negotiable' 'I can't believe that people can't afford breakfast' and 'let them eat 19p boxes of cornflakes' really don't have a grasp on the severe deprivation that increasing numbers of children are living in.

And if some lazy, busy parents take advantage of the free breakfasts, so what? We are allegedly a civilised society - surely we should applaud any initiative that seeks to feed hungry children.

MrsMelons · 08/01/2013 20:06

exBrighton I agree, I know a lot of posters on here have got upset about the way schools are starting to 'parent' their children and I agree to an extent but if my DCs get to brush their teeth an additional time each day to help that child who never gets to brush their teeth at all or are offered an extra meal but I feel sad that there could be other much needed things a school could and should be funding and NOT basic parenting stuff.

MrsMelons · 08/01/2013 20:07

Well I am about as far away from Scotland as is possible in the UK so maybe not a practical move Envy

Astley · 08/01/2013 20:07

Ummm I live in Scotland's apprently most deprived area. And it takes me 7 minutes to walk to Morrisons. I'm also walking distance from a Poundland, Discount Baragains and a massive Co Op.

Jinsei · 08/01/2013 20:13

It looks like the BBC has worked to not make this about poverty or neglect, so it won't put anyone off using the scheme.

That's a good point, birds, I hadn't thought of it from that point of view. I'm certainly not against schools providing breakfast for kids who need it, and I wouldn't want any child to feel stigmatised. I was just Shock at the idea that anyone might genuinely think being busy was a valid reason not to feed their child!

shayshaysmum · 08/01/2013 20:18

How would you know that 'noisytoys'?
Why where you privvy to someone elses childs business?

mynameisnowsonicthehedgehog · 08/01/2013 20:18

I have a son with Autism and it takes him over an hour in the morning to eat his breakfast in the morning, so we get up really early to allow him enough time. My other son eats his in around 10 minutes. Yes, it's frustrating to keep getting him back to the table every 5 minutes, but feeding my child is my job, no one elses!

expatinscotland · 08/01/2013 20:21

I saw that and was shocked, too. Too busy. Give me a fucking break! Ignorant and lazy. There was sadly a little girl on that segment whose family's excuse was she was from a large family. Why have more kids than you can look after?

A cereal bar or slice of toast is better than nothing!

YANBU.

DeafLeopard · 08/01/2013 20:24

Alistron whilst you make very valid points about things costing more when you are on a limited income, the fact remains that there are parents who prioritise alcohol, fake tans and uggs over feeding their DCs.

I've worked with such families and it is really sad.

FWIW I think that any scheme which improves the lives and future opportunities of children cannot be a bad thing, what concerns me is that this will be at the cost of cuts to other services.

happynewmind · 08/01/2013 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaQueen · 08/01/2013 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 08/01/2013 20:26

I don't live in a deprived area of Scotland, but a rural one. The walk to the nearest supermarket of any size is 2 miles each way and it's a small Co-Op. There's a corner shop downstairs that's actually reasonably-priced and they sell things to make a decent breakfast.

Being too lazy or ignorant to feed your own child breakfast is pretty pathetic, IMO, and yes, I've suffered severe depression.

shayshaysmum · 08/01/2013 20:26

I have skipped part of thread, but if your on about milk 'mrsmelons' then lidls do 4 pinters for a £1.. Bargain!

shayshaysmum · 08/01/2013 20:26

Sorry 'MrsMelons'

expatinscotland · 08/01/2013 20:27

Here we go with the excuses!

You have kids: you plan and budget and feed them. It's a very, very basic responsibility and though I'm known here for being relatively liberal, if you can't manage such a basic task you really have no business having kids.

LaQueen · 08/01/2013 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsKeithRichards · 08/01/2013 20:29

I live in an estate with one shop. 2l of milk is £1.74 I shit you not.

I'm lucky, I have options, I can drive to aldi and get it for 89p or pick it up on the way home from work for £1.

The nearest shop after the rip off one is a 15 minute walk. So I understand that access to reasonably priced goods is a huge factor in how people eat.

MonetsGardens · 08/01/2013 20:30

I am a lone parent and I use breakfast clubs on days when I am working. But the kids still have their cereal at home - I can't reconcile taking small children out the door, especially when it's dark and cold, without a bite of food passing their lips. I also need to eat in the morning - and there isn't a breakfast club at work Grin