To think that a busy life is no excuse for not giving your child breakfast?

[exBrightonBell]

Just watched the BBC news about a school which will be giving all its pupils a free breakfast. Amongst the reasons for children not being given breakfast at home was having a busy life. They interviewed a mum who said that their mornings were too late and busy to reliably give the children breakfast, and that she didn't have time to have an argument about it. She seemed to think that this was completely reasonable. AIBU to think that this isn't a reasonable excuse? Poverty and neglect are both reasons why children don't get breakfast at home, but parents being too busy? Really?

Not sure but the one at my kids school starts at 6.45! I pity the poor staff member that opens up. God knows what time she has to start her day. Don't see my cousin often but recognised the school in the news. At our school they do toast and milk in class for any late comers which I think is nice if slightly enabling... Mind you as someone who from the age of 8 was responsible for getting 3 younger siblings to and from school and therefore was late myself almost daily maybe the toast and milk in class is a good thing?

No, Scotland gets free fruit for all children up to P3, free school meals are based on LA guidelines but iirc most of them follow pretty much the same criteria as everywhere else.

As I mentioned, we're in one of the most deprived areas in Scotland, but DS doesn't get free meals, only fruit. There must be a lot of criteria for everyone to get them, it would cost a fortune.

How busy can you be? . Get up earlier, it's not rocket science, is it?

I saw the interview the OP is talking about and I have to say I first thought to myself 'I dont want an argument... how long is that parenting strategy going to work?' .

But actually I think the mum in question just wasn't giving the best answers. I think they said she was a single parent who worked shifts, and had her parents help out with overnight childcare. I can well imagine that if they kids hadn't seen her since quite early the previous day and she's coming in the door as they're trying to get out of it for school then it's going to be really hard - not impossible, but a battle - to get them to focus on eating. So if I were her in that situation then yes, I would definitely use and welcome the scheme, but I don't think she did herself or the scheme any favours with the comments she made.

Hmm, reindeer you might have just solved the problem DS loves milkshakes (needs a facepalm emoticon).
linerunner that may well be true. My old neighbour never got her Ds to school on time, she ended up having someone to come to the house everyday to make sure they were ready. Her DS never ate breakfast except at the weekends. She always managed to stand outside chain smoking -and looking in through my window- everyday though...

I've got very mixed feelings about this. My natural inclination is to put this down to neglect/laziness, but then I started thinking a bit more and I think it's much more symptomatic of various things that have gone wrong with our society.

Yes, there are always going to be cases where poverty/poor parenting applies, but in the case of working parents there is a bigger picture to be looked at I think.

Apparently we are working longer hours than ever, despite (or possibly because of) technology. Couple that with the amount of children now being schooled outside their catchment area and the travelling that involves, and for some parents factoring in enough time to make sure the entire family sits down and eats breakfast together would mean getting up at 5am! With the length of the school/working day (including commuting), the emphasis on homework and extra-curricular activities for children and the usual demands on adults, and getting to bed at an early enough time to allow for such an early start is near to impossible. So it becomes a choice between breakfast and sleep deprivation. What's worse? The intention to send in mid-morning snacks probably helps most parents rationalise this, and it's a lifestyle choice being endorsed by the food industry and a situation where many adults forego breakfast altogether for various reasons.

For parents who can afford it, the solution is to move nearer the job/better school to save time, have a SAHP, or enlist the help of a willing relative or paid professional, but many people aren't in that position.

I still think a lot of it is skewed priorities and laziness, but to be fair to some of these parents, it's easy to say "make this your priority" but far harder to do it when there are so many other 'priorities' being demanded - such as earning the money to pay for that food in the first place, reading to your children (also something that only takes 10 minutes and should be done daily), etc.

I don't know what the answer is and while my children have gone to school without breakfast on occasion (because they refused to eat anything), it's never been because I've been "too busy" to make it available. Despite working full time, mornings are quite relaxed in my house.

I don't eat breakfast till later and to be honest my DC aren't too bothered. I gave up the struggle of getting a healthy breakfast inside them and now let them eat the sugar filled crap cereal they like. I'd still rather they had this than nothing though, but I do feel guilty.

YANBU. - Too busy to feed their kids in the morning? Shouldn't have had them in the first place.

I am a single parent. Leave for work at 7.30. Both dcs are up and have breakfast with me at 7. Not just cereal but also boiled egg or something else. Being too busy is tosh. You can leave the bowl out, put the pan on for eggs while you wake the dcs up. Not hard!

Since when did feeding your own child or arranging to have your child fed become optional? What happens in holidays? Work times don't change just cos schools out? I can't see that these kids skip meals constantly then? It takes a matter of seconds to shove a cereal bar in a back pack the night before. I thought services like that we're meant for those who really needed it like those who are financially struggling.

I have to stand over DD for forty five minutes every morning, cajoling, to get her to eat one little slice of malt loaf, or half a piece of toast. I'd honestly never thought of just letting her go without breakfast.

Maybe I should.
She doesn't want to eat in the mornings at all.

From the age of 6 I never wanted to eat breakfast before school. I always preferred to stay in bed a bit longer. It wasn't my mother who was lazy, it was me.

Then, when I went to secondary school, I didn't like packed lunches either (no school dinners available). So very often, the only food I had during the day was a pear or a carrot; then when I got home at 3.30 or so I'd cook myself some pasta or a cupasoup to tide me over until the family meal.

I still find now that I can go most of the day without food if I'm busy or don't feel like breakfast. I just don't think having three meals a day is that crucial. The 'breakfast is essential' thing is a fairly recent convention - say the last 100 years or less.

cereal bars...
try milkshakes
I gave up the struggle ... and now let them eat the sugar filled crap cereal they like

All of those are sugary junk food options*. I'd get DS to drink a cup of milk if he'd have even that, but impossible when he's in a mood... (sigh). I'm not at all blaming anyone who feels forced to go down those routes to send them in with something in stomach (including crisps), but I can't do it; most of mine most of the time will eat healthier options for breakfast and I'd like to keep things that way. DC would all eat pure junk if on offer. I will feed them sausage rolls if they'll have them, mind, am not food police.

*I know someone will retort by citing the tiny number of brands of truly non-sugary cereal bars and clarify that they meant their own lovingly hand-made home-made milkshake with only the tiniest bit of added honey, but my kids wouldn't eat those enthusiastically either.

Even if it is down to lazy parenting, what can anyone do about that apart from judge? Judging doesn't put food in those children's stomachs.

Yanbu. I am terrible in the mornings but even the world's busiest (laziest?) person can surely manage to shake some cereal into a bowl.

Lljkk - I suggested milkshakes. For parnts who do want to feed their child before school but the child isn't that hungry.
Liquid is sometimes easier to get down.

Also most cereals are high in sugar/salt so maybe a milkshake would be a better alternative to that. (FWIW DC1 is on a high fat/high sodium diet so its irrelevant to my DC anyway).

Ages ago there was a thread about getting up early - adults, not children - where there seemed to be a clear divide between 'early birds' and 'night owls'... And a clear sense among some that getting up early was morally superior to getting up later. I think I see the same idea repeated here...

Some of the families who don't manage breakfast might be 'lazy', but I bet most of them are either working shifts, or are 'night owls'. Our school system favours people who like early mornings, and our family has always found it hard (And yeah linerunner, that was probably us you passed on your way back from the school run!)

Personally, I would prefer school and work to start at midday, and run on til 6 or 8pm, and then DS2 and I would be able to stomach breakfast before we set off! In Singapore (where I taught for a year) most schools run in two 'shifts' because the population is so high: half the children attend from 7am 'til noon and half attend from 1pm 'til 6pm (and all of them can have lunch between noon and 1pm) - I'd welcome a similar system here. :)

Lol, not a prob Astley : )

Yadnbu!
There is absolutely NO excuse for this, poor, rich, working or not working.

It takes a few minutes and not a lot of money to prepare cereal/toast/bagel/fruit&yog

It's unbelievable that mums & dad are so lazy & bone idle that they can't provide something so simple yet so important for their children.
Lazy pure lazy and neglectful.

I love seeing people looking beyond their own norm, seeing past their own capabilities and entertaining the possibility that something that is so easy and normal to them might not be for everyone. Yes breakfast is easy, everyone should eat it, no excuse harrumph harrumph etc etc. I agree. But it doesn't take much imagination to consider the whys.

My lo doesn't like breakfast straight away but likes an elevenses! Dreading school on that one!

Completely off topic, but to all those people that said they can't eat breakfast in the morning because of sickness, what the hell is that? I thought I was the only one!

There is a difference between dropping your child off to breakfast club where you know that they going get food and dropping them off at school time not fed. There is no excuse for the latter. Toast or cereal bar on route is fine.

Well it was first day back for my DC today, and DD flipping nearly ended up eating in the car how can a 6yo spend SO long in the shower? but in the end they both ate breakfast, I didn't shout, and we got to school on time. It won't last .