Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to have my judgeypants right up my butt about this?

82 replies

andtoast · 08/01/2013 14:28

A woman I know went on a night out and got extremely drunk, so much so the night ended in her being arrested. Her baby was about a month old at this point.

I can't help thinking this is really terrible, but I'm not sure if AIBU. It might be the Jeremy Kyleness of the details which has me recoiling. Maybe it's no worse than anyone else getting banged up for being a pisshead horror? DH maintains she's within her rights to go and get smashed if she wants. I can't quite accept that. WDYT?

OP posts:

pictish · 08/01/2013 17:41

Normal everyday life risks are one thing, drinking with a one month at home is quite frankly deplorable!

Drinking with a one month old at home is deplorable??

Rubbish. Absolute outdated, uptight rubbish.

Original poster

andtoast · 08/01/2013 17:42

Dahlen, I was speaking personally. I couldn't have left mine at that stage. I just couldn't. I get that some people could, I really do, but to me they still feel like they're part of me when they're so tiny. That's where my shock comes from, I think. It's clearly unreasonable but I can't help but clutch my pearls about parents of such a tiny baby going out on the lash.

OP posts:

Original poster

andtoast · 08/01/2013 17:44

And there's drinking, and drinking. I drank frequently when mine were small, but not enough to get smashed. Or arrested.

OP posts:

Feminine · 08/01/2013 17:45

pictish I am far from up-tight.

At one month post birth I was still bleeding and walking with a slight waddle!

Getting pissed was the last thing from my mind. My DH's too actually!

Why do you thing its so cool?

Its just not an adult way to behave.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 08/01/2013 17:46

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2225697/Shocking-moment-mother-Amanda-Lowe-26-repeatedly-stamps-mans-head-racist-attack.html

Also now that mother is disgusting.

pictish · 08/01/2013 17:49

And since when do the rest of the country have to fall in with how you feel?
You didn't feel like going out, so you didn't.
What anyone else does is not for you to decide or pass judgement on.

We're all different.

pictish · 08/01/2013 17:51

Oh and I didn't go out drinking at that stage - like you I was still bruised and battered and it was not something I considered.

I couldn't give a fuck if anyone else does though. None of my business.

FutTheShuckUp · 08/01/2013 17:51

Feminine- the 50's called and want you back...

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/01/2013 17:53

YANBU to judge her for being arrested.

YABU to judge her for leaving her baby in the care of someone else/ it's father for an evening. You didn't do that...and?

YABU to judge her for wanting to have a drink. You didn't...and?

She's probably absolutely mortified about what happened. She probably got over excited at being out and over did it.

FutTheShuckUp · 08/01/2013 17:53

Thinking about it my first big night out was planned for a night DS would have been exactly 4 weeks. I wasn't bleeding all over the shop bruised or otherwise incapacitated. However due to a massive power outage in the town it didnt happen anyway!

Nancy66 · 08/01/2013 17:54

If she's out getting pissed and starting fights then I'm going to hazard a guess that she's probably pretty scummy when she's sober - newborn or no newborn.

lolaflores · 08/01/2013 17:57

Feminine to say that fertility is wasted on people....mass sterilisation for those we disapprove of? Remind you of anything?

amillionyears · 08/01/2013 18:01

We have no idea what is going on in her life.

FellatioNels0n · 08/01/2013 18:03

She's entitled to let her hair down and get drunk.

She's not entitled to get cause a public nuisance/be threatening/offensive to the point where she needs arresting.

I will never understand people who do this. Never. I hoik my judgeypants very high indeed.

Original poster

andtoast · 08/01/2013 18:07

I was going round the shops when one of mine was 3 days old, leaving DH at home. It's not quite the same as going on the piss but like you say, it's each to their own.

She isn't mortified.

I have a fairly good idea what's going on in her life,and there's nothing which IMO justifies getting banged up.

OP posts:

Fenton · 08/01/2013 18:10

As others have said, I too would judge her for getting so bladdered that she got aggressive and was arrested.

This has nothing to do with being male or female or having children or not.

Although I wouldn't have 'Go out and get wasted' on my list of things to do anyway.

FellatioNels0n · 08/01/2013 18:13

I don't think I'm even judging her for 'getting so bladdered'....I am judging her for being an anti-social PITA. I have been very, very bladdered many times, but I've never come close to starting a fight, arguing with some randomer in public, or being arrested.

Not when drunk or sober come to think of it.

MothershipG · 08/01/2013 18:14

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 08-Jan-13 14:32:25
YANBU. She sounds straight out of a Hogarth etching!

I work at Hogarth's House so for that fab reference I would like to offer you a free tour of the house! ok, it's actually free admission Look forward to seeing you.

Fenton · 08/01/2013 18:15

Me neither Fell, I am a happy drunk by all accounts.

TheBrideofMucky · 08/01/2013 18:15

I would assume she got far more drunk than usual due to her tolerance being so much lower due to having a month old baby, no sleep and a period of no drinking tbh.

Being arrested though. Not great. Was it if her doing or was she just involved in something in a more roundabout way as Birds suggested above. I'm afraid I don't have absolute faith in every police officer to get it right 100% of the time, especially in a drunken night out group scenario.

FellatioNels0n · 08/01/2013 18:18

To be fair I am usually asleep by ten o' clock. It's hard to be offensive when you are sprawled on someone's spare bed, dribbling a bit, with your skirt over your head.

But that was all in the past. This is the new me. Onward and upward.

Feminine · 08/01/2013 18:50

Lola ...no it doesn't remind me of anything. Well not that could be remotely connected to my point.

There are thousands of people that would love to be parents, they can't as they are infertile. I stand by my opinion that fertility is wasted on some.

Like the women in question.

pictish · 08/01/2013 19:15

So what you are saying is that if a mother goes for a night out and drinks alcohol, when her baby is a month old, then she is comdemnable and does not desrve her baby? Is that right?

Feminine · 08/01/2013 19:27

No. It means that her fertility is wasted. I think her behaviour is bad parenting.

milkwagon · 08/01/2013 20:02

Getting so smashed that you end up getting nicked? Totally unreasonable behaviour made worse by the fact she has a newborn baby that she should be BF every couple of hours at that age. Why the fuck would you want to leave a month old baby for the evening to go and get lashed? Sounds like she has some problems that need addressing, it's not normal behaviour.
Of course she should be judged - she's committed an offence, but the defence will probably use this in their favour as 'mother to a newborn can't cope', etc etc. At least social services will be informed and hopefully given the support she clearly needs as well as being fined/community order for the offence she has committed.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread