To think that a reply doesn't absolutely have to be an RSVP card?

[swizzles]

My friend is getting married in April. She is quite a bit younger than me (10 years younger) and at a completely different life stage but nevertheless she has always been a bit high maintenance and likes things her own way.

She is the type of person who sends out 'save the date' cards for her birthday about 10 months in advance so you absolutely have to attend a party (she lives 50 miles away so its not always easy).

She sent a save the date card for the wedding, fair enough. She also had 'official' engagement photos done in the style of William and Kate.

The invitations were received over the xmas holidays with an RSVP date on new years eve. It's a child free wedding. Our only childcare is our inlaws and they were on holiday so we couldn't ask them. She sent me a text when we didn't rsvp on time giving us a deadline of this week to let her know as she needed to do the seating arrangements. We have finally been able to respond 'yes' as parents are babysitting, however she is now requesting an RSVP card rather than a simple 'yes'.

AIBU to think this is all a bit over the top? I have two small kids and I work. I don't routinely have RSVP cards in the house and I don't have much spare time to go out shopping for them. Why can't she just accept a 'yes.'

She is not remotely posh, btw. We are not talking 'its the done thing in those circles' by any stretch.

bootsycollins is right - this is what you should do, and when you don't get it, get really arsey with her and say it is for your album.
Then invite her round for cake and cocktails, don't serve anything, and bore on for hours with an album of rsvp acknowledgements you have made from fictitious other events. Have one from the queen rsvp-ing to your acceptance of the invitation to her jubilee celebrations. It should be very chummy, and she should address you as "swizzster" and have a biro smiley face by the signature.

Weird. I have been married twice and both times I included and RSVP card in with the inviation and an SAE for it - hoping to make it easier for people, rather than dictating how they should respond. Whilst most sent back the cards we had plenty of replies via email/phone etc which were gratefully recieved too. I definitely had no wish to keep the replies in some kind of album!
If, and only if, she sent you a reply card and SAE with the the invitation would I think it was ok (ish) for her to demand the card as well. If not, and I wasn't particulary bothered about going then I would see this as a sign to give this wedding a miss.

Going against the thread here -general rule of thumb is that if the invitation is written then the answer should be written. But an initial text followed by a card would be fine.

Your other posts give rise to a whole host of other issues though. I'd find a really tacky card, just to mess up her scrapbook!

Going against the grain but - if I sent out save the date cards long before the invitations, then i would expect people to already know if they could come or not so it shouldn't take long for them to give an "official" reply. Also it might be someone else who is helping compile guest lists etc so better to have it in writing. But she should have sent cards and saes.

"She also had 'official' engagement photos done in the style of William and Kate."

The RSVP card is only going to be the start of the hassles you will have associated with this wedding.

This is going to be a source of endless entertainment for the next few months isn't it .

Seriously I feel rather worried about your mutual friend. Bridezilla is not going to help her have an enjoyable pregnancy is she?