To not feel rich even though husband earns £250k a year

[whoovian]

I don't feel rich - I scarcely feel comfortable on this level of income.

Why is that - I grew up in a very poor family (not enough food at times type of poor) so I know what poverty feels like.

We are not extravagent spenders - we have one 1 week european holiday a year, no savings however we do have 4 children in private school(!) and live in London.

I feel unreasonable when I consider how little income others survive on but what do you think?

sorry didn't read thread before posting but now see that you do work, but you earn £40k so compared to lots of families you are rich on a household gross income of £290k! Myself and hubby feel rich on joint income of £70k and have money to spare, I am shortly to be made redundant so our income will reduce to £40k but I still think we will feel that we are comfortable to well off, especially in comparison to our peers.

Also people are wrong to be so mean to you! You contibute £110k in tax a year and because your children are privately educated, you take less out of the system. Bizarre how you are being slated.

Oh that may have been me wetting myself a little.

Self indulgent twaddle. If family are so keen of rthe kids to go private, why aren't they helping out (as a hell of a lot of families do)?

Do you and your DH go to visit your parents?

We pay higher rate tax and take sod all out of the system. Please don't all cry for me at once. I'm not whinging about being poor though!

OP, please tell us what your job is, that pays you £40K for part-time work after being out of the system for ten years? and did you get this job despite/because of the state education which you presumably had to suffer due to your childhood poverty??

Isn't it true that most of us feel poorer at the moment? If we've sort of lived to our incomes, whether we're high/middle or lower earners things have got much tougher. We spend way more on gas and electricity (despite chopping and changing providers like mad fools) car fuel and food than we used to and have lost on various tax-type changes/ child benefit etc. Doesn't everyone who used to spend what they had (whether it's 250k or 25k) have less left over, so feels poorer like the OP?

It's possible. My last job would've been about that if I'd done 3.5 days a week instead of two, and I'd been out of the job market for 8 years. I am very qualified for my as and have worked for some Big Names. It's not easy though, and loads of qualifications and skills are worth nada after such a long time.

I hate this concept of taking "less" or "more" out of the system. We live in a society. The doctors that treat you, the people who clean up your street - they've all been educated, many of them in state schools. Your contribution goes towards that, they then help you live your life. There is no "less" or "more".

Eliza-I wasn't actually being serious,I'm pretty sure op won't need any of my suggestions.
And I can't imagine freecycle was ever intended for the very well off to get free stuff they could quite easily afford to buy even if that's what happens.

"The concern you should have is what would happen if your husband lost his job - ... - you need savings in case this happens."

Indeed. While DH seems fixated on private schooling (and I went to boarding school for a while before going to a local grammar school myself, so know the difference between classes of 18 and 30), have you considered how much you will need to be earning when 2 are at university and 2 are teenagers ?

My guess is that long hours and these financial commitments could affect your husband's health such that he perhaps would have to take time off through stress, yet there's almost no way to continue with your lifestyle if it happened.

I'm guessing that private schooling and other cost will only go up, with all the things to "keep up with" peers that your children will have, as SugarplumMary at 17:18 suggested.

How well are the teenagers doing at school ? Where are your local state schools in any league tables ? Would they benefit from seeing how ordinary folk do at school, or are they too close to exams ?

If they've had a good education all through to their teens, they should be confident and capable if they didn't continue at private schools, but would they fit in, even, at a state school (or be bullied because of a 'posh' accent {not wanting to touch on stereotypes, but hope it can be seen as a valid point}). In case you are wondering, am just exploring what would happen if the world came tumbling down (your DH in hospital, or out of work, for 6-12 months)...

There's no 'slack' as you spend nearly everything /save for children / boost DH's pension, but what if he left you ? (OK, worst case scenario, and hope it never happens!) As others have indicated, no savings = bad news.

Admit I have no savings, but also just me to worry about (and only me to do the worrying).

This thread was never going to end well!

Just for the record, I dont earn £250k or live in London but know a fair few that do and I have lived in London in the past myself so I do get where the OP is coming from.

The OP is not saying she is poor but buying a reasonable but not massive house, getting a decent education for DCs and eating reasonable quality food, having a nice but not luxurious holiday. That is a middle class lifestyle and in London it does cost £250k with nothing left over after tax.

She is not complaining. Just saying she is not rich.

Good evening all
Have just realised that I need to go and disrobe of my Christmas name and put my New Year name on but in case anyone needs to look at the guidelines here they are

To those whose asked about me working. I do work (p/t).

I went back to work last year so this will be my first full year at work for about 10 years.

My income will be about £40k.

The OP said shewill earn £40k when she goes full time this year...so probably say, £20k now? That's still more individually than some households survive on mind.

Oh Olivia, you are boring. We are all having a lovely time on here. Aren't we, all?

whoovian, aka OP, yes, you clearly have some thinking to do.

Are your children at a very very monied school? (Eton, say). If so this might be generating problems for them, which they are bringing home to you. I know not all London comps are good, but there are selective smaller schools like the Habs schools (not cheap, but not Eton), the new academies, and there are the Kent grammars and the Bucks grammars if you can move a bit. Are you sure your dcs are happy? I stupidly thought mine were, but they as it turned out were miserable...

Similarly your house - does it need to be big/impressive, or would you all rather have a holiday?

As I have previously said and as morebeta has just said

The OP is not moaning, she is not complaining and she doesnt feel sorry for herself. She has said that she is comfortably off, it is just that she is surprised that she doesn't feel rich

A lot of bitchy posters are not reading the OPs posts and are making it up as they go along.

The definition of rich, is having a great deal of money.

So they are rich. They do have it, but her DH insists on having it spent.

No, people are telling her to get a grip. I used to council (usually) women who would not count their blessings in life but obsess on some particular part of their life that other people just wouldn't see as a problem.

@Moominsarehippos

Oh Olivia, you are boring. We are all having a lovely time on here. Aren't we, all?

at the personal attack. I am NOT boring, thank you very much.

And while I'm here, a reminder that not only is the strikeout facility really there for comedy and sarcasm for those who're blessed with that kind of wit and not for snide asides, but also that we FROWN wholeheartedly on troll hunting.

Thanks everso

I was wondering whether Moomins was going to get away with that!