To think you should speak to a baby with the same respect as you would an adult?

[jungandeasilyfreudened]

Went to visit delightful PILs this week. One of them said to our 3 month old 'look at your sticky out ears ha ha' and defended the comment as the baby 'couldn't understand' what was being said. Surely whether the baby understands or not isn't actually the point, is it?

But then you can't say "Awwww look at those chubby wee legs, I want to nibble them all up" unless you're prepared to say it to your MIL as well.

Quack
call my brother who is 18 month Fat Boy because he is indeed a huge toddler.

pfb?

I disagree that you have to speak to babies with respect. But Yanbu that your PIL are rude.

"Adult" leaves a lot of room for interpretation doesn't it? You might treat a baby with the same "respect" as adult close family members, but probably wouldn't treat him/her with the same respect as say, a policeman .

Blardy ell -

And you will be speaking to him with sane respect as an adult when he's 2/3/10/12/14 and pushing your boundaries too of course?

Both DH and I call our DS2 'Mr Fattyman' or just 'Fatman' as he is a scrumptiously roly-poly baby, especially compared with our DS1 who was prem and therefore small in comparison. I can't imagine a situation whereby I'd call an adult by the same nickname but it doesn't mean I 'respect' him any less.

I don't think people should be mean about babies full stop though. That's just, well... mean.

I love a thread that just proves people are nucking futz!

Oh FFS

It's all about the tone of voice - that's what matters to a three month old baby!

Awwww you're a wee shite aren't you?

means exactly the same as

Awww look how gorgeous and clever you are.

If said in a sweet sing-songy tone.

Now a parent might not want someone highlightint their baby's sticky-out ears, but hey the baby doesn't care.

Anyway, sticky out ears run in families and can be fixed.

I know this from my own family!

We call DS "stinker" and all sorts. He had huge jug ears for a bit too, until his head caught up with them.

I can understand your point but I'm sure PIL didn't mean to be disrespectful to your baby. These things are cute at an early age, but as the child grows yes, it could become insensitive.

Are you just pissed off they think your baby is a wingnut?

My eldest has sticky out ears. Don't worry you can hide them with hair.

I say things like this to my baby all the time....am I a bad mummy..???

But seriously. Get a grip. People say funny things about babies to babies all the time. They talk over their heads. Some people just ignore babies outright. I lose count of the amount of times I say 'look at your fat hands you big fat baby!!' to my LO.

I respect him in that I don't swear at him, or shout at him, or 'talk down' to him.

I think perhaps my subject line has come out differently to how it sounded in my head!

But thank you to some of you who worked out what I meant, yes snow that's what I can't understand, why someone would poke fun at a baby by saying something they'd never say to a grown man in the pub for example. I think nicknames said openly in love are rather different than saying something mean and excusing it because he doesn't yet understand the words being said.

My family has a lovely male trait in that only one ear sticks out. We affectionately call it The Lug.

aw -does that mean I couldn't call babies ugly anymore?

babies think being ugly is the best thing since sliced bread -always gets a smile out of them

My ds1 only grew into his ears when he was 5. The sun shines through ds2' s lugs, he's only 8m so I have faith he too will grow into them.

I called my DS pinhead jugears for months . And yes, their ears to grow to fit their head in the end!

It was said with love though...

Or rather don't grow...

They do go a pretty shade of red when the sun shines through them though mrskeith

And there is something amusing about sing songing insults to babies

Like my wee ditty to ds2 this morning:

Oh you're a nippy wee shite you kept me up all night

As long as you're smiling they love t!

Hmm it seems this little one would agree

DP was most disappointed that DS has inherited his big "lugs"! He used to lovingly call DS "wing nut" when he was a baby and I think it was my sister who affectionally used the "sticky-outy ears" phrase. The fact is DS does has sticky outy ears, he's growing into them now and it isn't noticable but as a baby they were very noticable, just like his big, brown eyes and amazingly long eye-lashes. Each of these features have been noticed and commented on, I've never felt DS was disrespected with any of the comments.

So, based on what you have said OP YABU and hyperly over-sensitive. Get over it, your DS will grow into his ears and if he doesn't then he will hear a lot worse than "sticky-outy ears". My DP was teased mercilessly at school.

at Worra's link!

Love your wee ditty there MrsKeith

I think it depends really. I wouldn't tell my MIL that I was going to eat her all up starting with her wriggly wiggly toes, for example. However, my mum has a habit of pointing out my daughter's thighs and tummy in a "ooh you fatty!" way and I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't comment on my weight every time I see her - but she does and I bloody well will not have her hurting DD the way she does me, so I am nipping this in the bud now while my daughter is still a baby.