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AIBU?

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Original poster

'My kids never screamed like that' - old bag says loudly at the supermarket checkout...

334 replies

TeenTwinsToddlerandTiaras · 05/01/2013 18:14

about my DS (2). He is a screamer and it drives me nuts. Not when it's just me and him but when my older DSs are anywhere near him - he wants what they've got, wants to do what they're doing. He's trying to dominate, it's the pack mentality!

He screamed around Tescos as he was in the trolley and he wanted to put the food in the trolley. He screamed at the checkout as he wanted OUT! Cue santimonious, smug middle aged woman making the above comment very loudly. I don't want him to scream either but short of putting a sock in it, what can I do? I should have asked her what her secret was but I just glared.

Really unnecessary comment that only made me feel more shit and stressed and angry.

BREATHE!!!!

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 05/01/2013 19:21

Ffs people chill outtttt about the old bag comment! Op is annoyed and is calling her an old bag here - and for the souNds of iT she was a nasty old cowbag!

Shame you didn't tell her to fuck off op! Grin

timidviper · 05/01/2013 19:22

Like diaimchlo I would have been more sympathetic if you weren't so insulting (I am 52 so, no doubt, an old bag in your classifications)

She was rude but you don't know her situation, she may have had a stressful day and your ear-splitting little darling was something of a last straw.

Just out of curiosity, what are you doing to teach him not to scream? As someone else mentioned upthread, if he screamed all the way around, there will have been a lot of folks disapproving and she will have just been the one that said it.

PessaryPam · 05/01/2013 19:23

CheCazzo Popcorn anyone? Iced lolly? Bag of Maynard's Sports Mix?

CheCazzo Werther's Originals might be more appropriate. Grin

Oi OP less of the old, there's a dear.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 05/01/2013 19:23

Noun 1. old bag - an ugly or ill-tempered woman; "he was romancing the old bag for her money"
bag
disagreeable woman, unpleasant woman - a woman who is an unpleasant person

Definition for ye.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 19:24

If she was annoyed she should have dealt with it assertively at the time.

And I don't need you to tell me to "chill out" because I object to ageist, offensive language. Are you going to defend the poster who referred to the woman as a "foul old fucker" as well?

baskingseals · 05/01/2013 19:26

dontstepon - you sound like you are doing a great job with your son. parenting is bloody hard work, and people making snidey comments are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves, not the people dealing with loud screaming children.

JustFabulous · 05/01/2013 19:27

Those complaining about the OP calling the woman an old bag need to think about the fact that the woman is highly unlikely to read this, and therefore is not offended/hurt, but the OP was criticised in person.

baskingseals · 05/01/2013 19:28

i think there's a difference between foul old fucker and old bag.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/01/2013 19:28

Quite ilovesooty.
At 41 with a teen, twins and a toddler you'd have thought she'd have reacted to this as a middle aged grown up woman.
I'm going by her nn for that information BTW.Grin

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 19:28

Whether she's likely to read it isn't relevant.

DaisyBuchannan · 05/01/2013 19:29

She was an old bag. Get over it sensitive wrinklies.

PessaryPam · 05/01/2013 19:29

I think those of us over 50 may be quite offended as a by product of the OPs tirade.

DaisyBuchannan · 05/01/2013 19:29
PessaryPam · 05/01/2013 19:30
baskingseals · 05/01/2013 19:31

age is nothing but a number anyway

timidviper · 05/01/2013 19:33

Can I also just remind you OP that parenting changes over the years (see the recent thread on here about lax parenting of the 70s, etc)

Speaking as somebody with children in their 20s, I can tell you that "bad behaviour" from children was far more frowned upon back then and parents were expected to "control" their children. If she was 10 years older than me she may well have children in their 30s who would have been smacked enough by the age of 2 that they might not be trying to dominate and showing pack mentality in public. I'm not saying I approve of that btw but it is how things were back then.

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/01/2013 19:36

Well I'm in my 50's and I didn't have a child till I was 39.
And I had a misspent youth up till my late 20's and fuck it was fun.

Kendodd · 05/01/2013 19:38

"She was an old bag. Get over it sensitive wrinklies."

Agreed. I can be a bit of an old bag myself sometimes though.

I once pushed DD2 around the Tesco at arms length while she sat tantruming and trying to grab me from the trolley seat. I was chatting happily to her about what I was putting in the trolley. A pensioner came up to me and said she thought I was very sensible to just ignore it and not get to stressed about it, smiling knowingly at DD2. She wasn't an old bag, she was nice. Smile

fufulina · 05/01/2013 19:38

The is a story in my family that when my cousin was changing her DD's nappy, her mother sniffed loudly, and said 'my babies never did anything like that in their nappies'.

Hilarious.

Even poo is erased from memory!

lecce · 05/01/2013 19:48

I can't believe this thread.

OP was dealing with a horrible situation that she clearly can't have been enjoying; unhelpful person made a really annoying, mean-spirited comment that wasn't helpful in any way, and was probably untrue; OP starts this thread to let off steam about it and is accused being horribly ageist due to a throw-away remark - of course it is relevant whether the woman in question is aware of having been alled an 'old bag', ffs! I also don't think a glare can fairly be termed 'obnoxious behaviour'.

Now people are offering such gems as 'stay out of supermarkets until he stops doing it' Hmm and telling us how children screaming makes their ears hurt. Why are so many people so mean and lacking in understanding when it comes to the difficulties of bringing up children? Plenty of things annoy me when I go out in public, but that's tough - you don't go to a supermarket or a peaceful, relaxing time.

My dc have never been screamers but they are going through another phase which could be annoying to others and which dh and I are trying to deal with. We avoided supermarkets today but if I had been subjected to a remark such as the OP was today, I might have welled up, which would have been immature and embarrassing for all parties, no doubt, but, sometimes, when you are sruggling a bit, you don't always come out with the perfectly-assertive-but-in-no-way-aggressive comeback.

Hope your evening was quieter, OP.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 19:52

It isn't relevant. I find the remark (as well as the OP's subsequent comments, and the "foul old fucker" contribution from someone else) regardless of the likelihood of the woman in question seeing it.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 19:52

I meant "I find the remark offensive"

LadyBeagleEyes · 05/01/2013 19:59

You really think that all the people that disagreed with the Op or are middle aged have never brought up children themselves lecce?
My ds is 17, he wasn't perfect as a toddler, but I never experienced 'old bags' remarking about his behaviour in supermarkets.
And these are words I've never taught him either.
Nasty and ageist. But the elderly are the last target on MN, we can say what we like about them.
And can I just remind everybody on here, middle age and old age is coming to you.

ilovesooty · 05/01/2013 20:04

the elderly are the last target on MN, we can say what we like about them

Absolutely.

Mrsrudolphduvall · 05/01/2013 20:05

I am 52 and technically an old bag.
I am not professionally offended.
I mutter old bag at women in their 70s sometimes.