to be annoyed that people think you can't have 3 DCs and work?

[twogirlsandamessyhouse]

Mentioned to a friend that we're planning DC no. 3 and she looked at me like I was crazy. Said I couldn't possibly do my job and have 3 kids. Job does require concentration and some travel, and DH does work hard, but my job is quite flexible... But really? Surely there are women in the world who have more than 2 and hold down FT jobs??

I struggle to work ft with one, never mind three. Obviously you don't feel this way, we're all different.

Was she not surprised that your husband is presumably also going to carry on working full time with three children ?

I've got 4 children, work full time plus have on call commitments in addition to this. We manage just fine although people regularly express amazement at how I cope DH pulls his weight otherwise yes, I would struggle.

I think if they are reasonably close in age it's quite possible.

It's when they have larger age gaps, different schools and different childcare needs it all becomes a bit of a nightmare!

I work FT with two

The thought of another 7 years of paying for childcare was a big factor in not having a third

But that's me

You're happy with your decision and sounds like you have thought it through and would work for your family; and that's the oy thing which matters

I guess if you can afford childcare and will have time to give them all then it is only your business?
I have one, work full time in a well paid job and couldn't cope with or afford 3, but I realise that may be my inadequacy.

I work full time with 3! The main barrier was the cost of childcare for us, so DH works part time in the evenings and does the childcare in the day.
It's a juggling act, but absolutely do-able. Good luck OP!

I would have thought having three would be less demanding if youare out all week working than if you are home with them. Did she mean the financial strain?

I'm sure there are plenty of people that could manage it, but I'd have thought that childcare costs would be prohibitive unless you have a large income. That would depend on the age gaps though.

If you've got a support system I think it's doable, are your children at school and what are you childcare arrangements? I have two friends who work full time with 3 children but they are all at school. One has a partner who's job is very flexible, one is a single parent.

This is an interesting one. I have 2 children and work full time, job fairly flexible and DH wanted another one but I said no. I felt that 3 would tip me over the edge...

Fo me it was the child care costs and we wanted to educate privately which we are doing hence the decision to stop at 2. Youngest is 10 and I am too old now but I dont regret for a moment.

Could I ask how old your children are and whether you have help with relatives around the childcare? That would make a big difference

I've got three, all at different places during the day - dc1 at primary, dc2 at infants and dc3 at CM - and work FT. Have negotiated flexible working and do two long days in the office, with the remaining shorter days at home, although am often found working pretty late 10pm onwards on many of those days! DH also works ft and we are approx 500m from family.

I think as long as you're organised and have appropriate childcare in place (rather than relying on family/friends) it's really not that hard...honest!

My DH and I do have a large income and no previous relationships/maintenance committments and I felt if we wanted what we wanted we would need to stop at 2.

It doesnt stop me ocassionally thinking what a third one would look like.....

yabu to be annoyed. If I got annoyed every time someone thought something stupid I'd be heading to an early grave!

Just ignore. Or arch an eye brow and say "oh reeeeeeeally".

It does come down to money though doesnt it. To keep on top of a well paid job you effectively need to throw money at childcare to ensure it works.

I think it is hard due to the fact that kids always get sick a few times a year, and with 3 kids that is quite a few calls from the school to pick up a sick child, I imagine. I had 6 calls thsi term for my 2! ( 3 x vomiting, 2x migraine, and 1x broken wrist!).

So it could only work if you have good back up in these cases, like a grandparent or nanny who can look after them when they are poorly.

Id be more annoyed that she is concerned for you alone, and not also your dh who will also be a working parent to 3dcs.

I have one dd and work FT, and the fact that I have a FT job wouldnt put me off having more - I have other factors which would prevent it but not a job.

I'm another one with three who works FT.
I have a DH who does more as much around the house as I do, a cleaner and a full time nanny.
I think I have it easier than a SAHM

I have three DC and work!

Actually DC1 is 17 and helps with the very small amount of child care I need. I work nights, DP works days.

Only Me, DP and DC1 look after the younger ones.

ahhh thanks- basically the older two are in school and I'd have a year off before going back, with some family help. so childcare costs not as bad as if they were all little. i'm probably only annoyed because i said we were planning baby 3 but i'm prob preggers already! eeeeeeek

Mine are 7 and under, I begrudgingly suck up the childcare costs as these wont be an issue for ever, the summer hols do sting a bit though . Unfortunately, I have no cleaner or gardener (although I wish I did).

I work full time have 5dc and am a lone parent. Job is flexible to a certain extent as long as I am meeting kpi's which so far I've managed to do. It is not impossible although people, usually other school mums look at me like I have 3 heads!

I have 4 kids and work between 24-30 hours per week, it's not easy but we need the money so no choice really. We work around each other, so I do mainly weekends and nights, so we don't have any real childcare dilemmas. It's getting easier as the kids get older, for example if I've worked a night shift and need to sleep , my eldest will keep an eye on the younger ones while I sleep .

If I had 3 DCs I'd have to work fulltime for the sake of my own sanity

It is thoroughly depressing how men never really figure in the childcare equation, I'm so fed up of women spouting the line 'my salary doesn't cover childcare so I can't work' either admit you just don't want to work or if you do want to work stand up for your right not to come second to your husband and get him to contribute to childcare.