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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that you don't get to eat more than your share?

75 replies

MarmaladeSkies · 04/01/2013 13:52

This is a minor issue I realise,but it's annoying me.
I had a relative staying overnight,and we were having pudding,which was roulade,with fruit and cream.We'd had a big dinner,and 3 of us decided to wait an hour or so to have pudding as we were full. The relative in question decided to have his there and then,which is fine,but when we had ours about 90 minutes later,he wanted to know where his was.Hmm He wasn't joking either.
I said there's X,Y,Z if you want pudding again,but no more roulade. They were large pieces of roulade too so it's not as though he was exactly deprived. He had a sulk over it.

The next day we had the same thing,only with lunch,when he'd eaten cereal and bananas,then made cheese and toast around 9am,followed by other snacks,then wanted rolls and sausage,which were intended for lunch, at 11am,which was fine,but again we had the same problem that he wanted the same again when we had our lunch at 12,but I didn't have enough to give him the same again.

Now I realise that this is an incredibly tedious post,and thankyou for staying with me if you got this far,but AIBU to think that you don't get to have your share and that of others just because you chose to eat yours first?

OP posts:
SPBInDisguise · 04/01/2013 13:57

Strange behaviour, especially on the second day. Even on the first day, if someone tends to suggest waiting tfor dessert don't you just tend to go along with it? Sounds like he's a binger

MousyMouse · 04/01/2013 13:57

yanbu
I have relatives who eat us out of house and home a lot.
I have resorted to hide the proper meal stuff and to offer a fruitbowl and cheap cheese and bread for in between.

Original poster
MarmaladeSkies · 04/01/2013 14:02

I had no problem with him eating his pudding there and then. I'm very casual about that sort of thing.It's just that I like an hour between courses,but feel free to have now if you wish,but surely it doesn't mean that you get to expect the same again when you've already had yours?

I have had this problem before with him,though that was with bags of sweets.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 04/01/2013 14:04

How old is this relative? 8?

DeafLeopard · 04/01/2013 14:05

Did you have my DS over? He'd eat non-stop like that given the chance Grin

Your guest is very greedy to expect two lots of pudding / lunch etc, I think Mousy's idea is good

EndoplasmicReticulum · 04/01/2013 14:05

Is he your FIL? I have a greedy one, too - he doesn't seem to have any manners and will happily pour the entire jug of custard onto his pudding so his bowl is overflowing, for example. And will steal things from the children's plates.

HecatePropolos · 04/01/2013 14:05

"Where's mine?"

"In your stomach. You had your X, Y and Z at X oclock. We're having our share of that now."

Proudnscaryvirginmary · 04/01/2013 14:06

I cannot believe I just wasted two minutes of my life reading about a 'problem' about roulade.

Original poster
MarmaladeSkies · 04/01/2013 14:08

No,not my FIL.

I know it's boring,but it's not really about roulade,it's more the attitude of 'So long as I get what I want it doesn't matter if others go without',that annoys me.

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 04/01/2013 14:10

I suppose it depends on whether it's a 'share' type thing (like a triffle) or a 'per person' type thing (like walnut whips). If it's a share thing I'd be happy to share it with him (so with just a tiny bit less for everyone else) but with something that isn't able to be shared then unless someone else doesn't like or want theirs then he's had his.

Rolls and sausage - I'd have plenty of that kind of thing so it wouldn't matter if he wanted seconds.

Booyhoo · 04/01/2013 14:11

he is GREEDY!

why is he eating so much? is he overweight? he must be on that diet.

i would move everything about in the fridge and label it all so that the stuff he can eat away at is on one shelf but the stuff that isn't to be touched is on the others and is clearly labelled "do not eat".

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 04/01/2013 14:11

Well - if it's an attitude he has to everything, then YANBU to wish he'd bog off!

Original poster
MarmaladeSkies · 04/01/2013 14:12

I like that response Hecate.

I really can't understand people like that,Endoplasmic. How can people be so selfish? It might 'only' be over pudding or dinner,and no one is going to starve,but it's still a pretty vile attitude to have imho.

OP posts:
Booyhoo · 04/01/2013 14:14

and i meal plan and cant afford to have surplus of sausages and rolls just incase anyone fancies an 11am lunch aswell as a 12 noon one!

Booyhoo · 04/01/2013 14:15

how long is he staying for?

Original poster
MarmaladeSkies · 04/01/2013 14:17

If I'm making dinner then I always have enough for people to have a second helping and sometimes a third if they so wish. If I'm making a pudding then I'll try to make sure that there's a second helping for everyone,but this was a bought pudding,though the pieces were large,so I didn't have extra,but he could have had yogurt,fruit,some cake, or ice cream for pudding if he so wished,but no,it apparently had to be a second helping of the bloody roulade.

Likewise with the sausages.He'd just eaten rolls and sausage,and cheese and toast,and who knows what else,but there was bacon there if he'd wanted that,but no,it had to be sausage again.Hmm

OP posts:
HazeltheMcWitch · 04/01/2013 14:19

Well, I think that YABU as in the first instance, he was clearly angling for you to tell him that he 'can't have his cake AND eat it'.

Hope, not really. He's just greedy and rude. No consideration for others, at all.

Gumby · 04/01/2013 14:19

Is he massive or a bean pole?

HazeltheMcWitch · 04/01/2013 14:19

Hope Nope...

IDrankAllTheGravy · 04/01/2013 14:21

Yanbu, he sounds like a small child who can't wait!

BunFagFreddie · 04/01/2013 14:25

He sounds very greedy and rude. If someone did that to me I would semi jokingly point out that they'll soon get man boobies if they carry on eating like that. And them firmly tell them that the food is to be shared with everyone!

Snog · 04/01/2013 14:27

Sulking is always unreasonable imo

OTheYuleManatee · 04/01/2013 14:28

I will be awaiting the parallel AIBU where someone comes on to complain about how they are staying with relatives who serve teensy portions and then get all catsbumfaced when you are still hungry.

Some people are just big eaters. If you like this relative and want them to feel welcome, then make sure there is enough food in the house when they visit.

That said, this person does sound like a proper hollow-legs dustbin type, and a bit demanding. Maybe they could be encouraged to contribute a pudding or something so you don't feel so eaten out of house and home?

diddl · 04/01/2013 14:30

Are you sure he wasn´t joking?

Did you just tell him that he´d had his?

He sounds bloody horrible by the way!

How long has roulade been the in word?

Has always been Swiss roll to me-roulade is meat!

AmberSocks · 04/01/2013 14:34

tbh it wouldnt really bother me,i would just make sure i buy more food hen i knew he was visiting.its only food.

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