AIBU to think that you don't get to eat more than your share?

[MarmaladeSkies]

This is a minor issue I realise,but it's annoying me.
I had a relative staying overnight,and we were having pudding,which was roulade,with fruit and cream.We'd had a big dinner,and 3 of us decided to wait an hour or so to have pudding as we were full. The relative in question decided to have his there and then,which is fine,but when we had ours about 90 minutes later,he wanted to know where his was. He wasn't joking either.
I said there's X,Y,Z if you want pudding again,but no more roulade. They were large pieces of roulade too so it's not as though he was exactly deprived. He had a sulk over it.

The next day we had the same thing,only with lunch,when he'd eaten cereal and bananas,then made cheese and toast around 9am,followed by other snacks,then wanted rolls and sausage,which were intended for lunch, at 11am,which was fine,but again we had the same problem that he wanted the same again when we had our lunch at 12,but I didn't have enough to give him the same again.

Now I realise that this is an incredibly tedious post,and thankyou for staying with me if you got this far,but AIBU to think that you don't get to have your share and that of others just because you chose to eat yours first?

I think it's greedy to expect more than three meals a day and rude to eat the food intended for mealtimes as snacks and then expect more.

I would not invite someone like this into my home. Some people are just a PITA.

My dd has a friend who thinks it's ok to help herself to the food in our fridge and cupboards. Even though she's only 9 I think this is still rude. And the person in the OP sounds like he is a grown adult??

Hideous lack of manners IMO. Of course you don't insist on having more when others haven't had theirs yet, and then sulking about it! Esp if alternatives are on offer. What a greedy guts. Yanbu but don't really know what to suggest, if he's an adult he will probably never learn! Ugh.

He is a greedy git.

That is really unreasonable behaviour - not so much the piggery but the sulking afterwards. What a twat.

My XP was incredibly selfish - he too would nick all the gravy, would sulk if he didn't get a 'man's' helping of food.

Although hosts should make sure there is enough food, there is reasonable and unreasonable! Sounds to me like the OP provided more than enough food.

Equally the guest also has a responsibility to be a well behaved guest. The behaviour described by this guest is disrespectful imo.

He's large though it's not really about the quantity of food he ate.I'm not a slim as I could be,and I have a good sized appetite,so it's not that.It's the expectation that it's fine for others to go without so long as he gets his,and there were other options available.It's just that he didn't want cake or yogurt or ice cream or fruit. Or bacon or eggs instead of a second helping of rolls and sausage.

I'm sure there was plenty of food too.We had a buffet,and even after we'd all had second helpings of food there was still almost half of a large turkey joint left,salad,prawns,roast potatoes,vegetables,stuffing,chipolatas etc,and he went in and cleared it. Fine by me.It had to be used up,but I thought that whinging that there wasn't another helping of pudding left,and 'only' ice cream,cake,fruit was a bit much.

But if it was a roulade I would have sliced a piece off for him, then later on when you all wanted pudding I would have asked if he would like some and sliced it accordingly. I really don't see the problem?! (As I said, different it is something that can't be shared - such as a Gu pudding in a ramekin etc).

Sausages (& rolls) - did you really count only 1 per person or whatever? I don't see how you could say you always have enough for seconds or thirds but yet say you didn't have enough sausages for him to have one at lunchtime. Confused.

It sounds like he has a bit of an 'entitled' attitude and thus you don't like him very much, which is fair enough, but 'food wise' (if he was a nice person) I don't see what the problem is really.

Boo - I understand that, lots of people are having to be very very aware of what they buy and meal plan etc, but in that situation you don't host things if you can't afford to provide plenty of food unless you ask people to contribute. It's not the same as your weekly shopping etc.

He doesn't sound like a nice person to me if he sulked (unbelievable) and showed he didn't care about everyone else as long as he got more than he needed.

Chipping - it sounds like there was loads of food!

OP was providing three meals a day-unless she´s a scrooge with portions-since when wasn´t that enough??

Sometimes when my Dad has stayed I´ve cooked the same as for three of us & it has sufficed between the four or us!

Yes perception - it does. However, given I don't have psychic powers I couldn't read the post the OP was writing when I was writing mine

I don't want to turn this into a 'Don't dare tell me that I'm being unreasonable' thread,as I hate those,but I don't see why I should have set aside another slice of roulade,I'm beginning to hate that word now,when he'd just eaten one,and there was cake,fruit and icecream available.

I don't normally have enough for seconds with lunch,well not seconds of the same thing,there's always other things though.I'd calculated for 2 large,well filled rolls for each person,though I wanted only one,and ate only one.He had 3 rolls and sausage,I had one, and the other two people had two each.There was bread available and bacon and eggs and I said he could help himself, but no,he wanted rolls and sausage again.Bacon wasn't acceptable apparently.

I agree - he sounds like an entitled git who is a bit of a bully.

I can hardly believe this! Did he specify whose bit he wanted? You should have pressed him on that!

Marmalade - honestly, I'd try to forget it now. He sounds like an arse anyway and not worth another minutes thought! How often do you have to see him?

TSM - that's kind of my point from earlier though. With Roulade it can just be sliced into 5 instead of 4 so he's not having anyone's bit - just a smidge of everyone's.

I see Chipping. Marmalade, YANBU at all. Don't even give it another thought. If I were you I would try to avoid inviting him again. People like this are not worth the stress. When someone is kind enough to invite you into their home then you bend over backwards to fit in and not cause waves and above all to be considerate of everyone else. You certainly don't sulk and act like a selfish, greedy brat.

You shouldn't have had to set aside a slice of roulade for him. If he was hungry he would have been happy to have cake, fruit or icecream. He just fancied another slice of roulade.

I would have been more than happy to have cake and icecream after a slice of roulade. Can I come round to your house for dinner.

About once a month or so.Though he says he'll probably visit again before the month is out,so perhaps my hospitality wasn't that bad,but I'm in no hurry to see him again.

I shouldn't complain really.It could be worse. A friend recently had her inlaws go to the funeral lunch after her grandmother's cremation,only to fill bags with the buffet food then leave ,without so much as a word of condolence.

Also Marmalade, didn't he bring anything tasty with him? Most people would bring something nice to share.

Even my ever starving 16 yr old wouldn't try to demand his piece of pudding / sausages whatever if he'd already eaten them... I mean, he might try to hover around his sister, checking if she could manage all her piece, desperately hoping there might be some leftovers, but he would quite happily munch on something else, even in our home. No question if he was a guest anywhere else - it's just manners, surely?

How did he convey the unacceptability of bacon over someone else's sausage and roll? Did he pout, perhaps, make a hangdog face, stamp his foot?

Anyway, based on that additional information, OP, your guest sounds like a resounding twat. Sure, it's polite to try and make sure one provides enough food for guests, but equally it's utterly not on as a guest to go all sadface and whingy if something runs out.

He pouted,and said 'Don't want bacon'. And yes,he is a grown man.

Are you really, really sure your relative isn't a big dog in disguise?

That would explain the zip!

Brecon