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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed at this dog walker

157 replies

anothercuppaplease · 03/01/2013 16:59

I live close to a forest and lots of people walk down our road to take their dogs for a walk. This morning, I was walking on my street, pushing a double buggy, and a dog walker was coming the other way with 5 smallish dogs, all on leads. No problem there, so far...

The dog walker of her own free will decided to get off the pavement and walk around me as there was not enough space for a double buggy and 5 dogs to be on the pavement side by side - the only thing is, as she passed me, she said in a very cross voice 'THANK YOU!' ermmm so I turned around and said why should I say thank you? It's you who's got five dogs?' She was clearly upset and mumbled something which I didn't get, anyway I just walked away. Should I have said thank you, really? Did she really expect me to get off the pavement because she had dogs? Was I being rude?

OP posts:
Chunkymumma · 03/01/2013 21:37

YABU... My toddler has better manners!

CaptainVonTrapp · 03/01/2013 21:43

Going against the grain slightly to say that, whilst I would have said thankyou I actually think she was ruder than you in using her 'cross voice' to give you a lesson in manners.

Although it is incredibly annoying when you let another driver go and they don't even acknowledge it (assuming neither of you has right of way).

BarredfromhavingStella · 03/01/2013 21:49

Honeydragon I even managed a Thanks for the man that moved completely unnecessarily out of my way tonight whilst out for my run despite the fact I was completely fucked a little out of breath....... It's just a natural reaction if you were taught manners.

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 03/01/2013 21:54

'It's you who's got five dogs?' And it's you who has got a double buggy! You chose to have two children and she chose to have two dogs. What the hell has it got to do with you.

YADBU and very rude into the bargain. I hope you teach your better manners than you appear to have.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/01/2013 22:16

Honey I'd agree with that. Runners and joggers are the only people I don't think "rude bastard" about if they don't say thanks.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 03/01/2013 22:23

You should have said thank you. I always do, and i apologise profusely when someone steps on my toe Blush. I also am given to a very loud "you're welcome!" if some rude bugger doesn't say thank you.

That said, I cannot bear the way everyone on these types of thread jumps immediately onto an anti-child, slag off mothers bandwagon. i detest the snarky "mums hogging the streets with their offspring in huge tanks" type crap that is so MN these days. Grow the fuck up with these comments. One person moved off the pavement for another person. Thank yous should have been said. That's it.

TandB · 03/01/2013 22:26

You were very rude.

You would have got a "You're WELCOME" from me if I stepped into the road and you just sailed past without even a smile of thanks. When I lived in SW London I often used to be expected to leap into the road so that pairs of mums could parade through side-by-side. The fact that I too had a baby, albeit in a sling, seemed to escape them. If I didn't move I got glared and huffed at. If I did move I got ignored. I got a bit "cross voice" on many occasion too.

And what is a "haze of small kids?" How long does this last? And what does it entitle you to get away with? I have never been told about this haze. I have an 11 month old and a 3 year-old. Can I blame any inadvertent rudeness on "small child haze"?

backwardpossom · 03/01/2013 22:30

I'm a runner and I always say thank you, even if I'm breathing out my arse Wink

ChristmasJubilee · 03/01/2013 22:37

Well, if you meet her again I hope she stands her ground and makes you move.

CoolaYuleA · 03/01/2013 22:38

Rude, rude, entitled, rude, ignorant, rude, arrogant and RUDE!

OP you were in the wrong, your lack of manners is appalling.

VivaLeBeaver · 03/01/2013 22:41

Yabu. You should have said thanks.

botoxschmotox · 03/01/2013 22:51

Whether you feel that you have right of way on the pavement, OP, a quick acknowledgement that someone has had to move out of the way for you with a brief thanks wouldn't have cost much from you. It's these little tiny acts of basic manners and kindness that make the world go round. So it's just about that really.

WildWorld2004 · 03/01/2013 22:56

I dont always say thanks if someone moves onto the road for me.(they usually only do it when i am with my 8 yr old & i have moved her to one side to let them pass) i do however usually smile at them.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 03/01/2013 23:03

You can still have children and good manners.

VictoriaPlum01 · 03/01/2013 23:16

YABU, but you must know that by now... have one of these instead Biscuit

greeneyed · 03/01/2013 23:21

Oooh nothing gets my goat and I mean nothing than someone failing to show common courtesy to their fellow human being. In doing so you are suggesting you are worth more than they are and that's trully horrible.

MummytoKatie · 03/01/2013 23:28

YABU to not say thank you and YABextraU for when she pulled you up on it to not say "sorry - sleep deprived haze today". Pretty simple really.

Incidentally if you had done that to me and dd I wouldn't have said a word but dd would have said "mummy - that lady didn't say thank you" "ssshhh sweetheart never mind" "but mummy - you said it was rude not to say thank you and that I always should" " yes sweetheart but not everyone does" "is that lady rude then".

3smellysocks · 03/01/2013 23:42

YABU - it's only polite to thank someone who has moved out of the way for you

OrangeLily · 03/01/2013 23:47

YABVU she did a nice thing and you were rude!

Why do you think because you've got a double buggy she should be forced on the road and you don't even have to acknowledge her? Biscuit

somedayma · 04/01/2013 00:02

yabu and rude. Why would you not thank her for moving herself and her 'charges' for you and your 'charges'?! She doesn't give a fuck about your kids, her dogs are more important to her!

longingforsomesleep · 04/01/2013 00:27

YABU. It doesn't matter who you think has right of way, it's common courtesy to say thank you if someone does something for you.

As an owner of 2 large dogs I always move off the pavement if someone is coming towards me with toddlers or a pushchair - don't think I've EVER had anyone not smile acknowledgement or say thank you.

custardismyhamster · 04/01/2013 00:27

I wouldve said thanks and then said to baby in pram 'oh look at those dogs who moved to let us pass, what nice dogs'Grin

I am scared of dogs, well most dogs and would use any available chance to convince my kids dogs are nice

PartTimeModel · 04/01/2013 00:59

So OP you think babies trump dogs - therefore no thank you required.

What if it was an old man with one dog? Babies still trump dog and age? Who gives way?

What about old lady with a stick and dog? Or mum with single buggy and dog / but baby is newborn? Who wins then?

You are playing silly games.

Common manners dictate the person most able gives way or goes on road. The other party acknowledges this act of courtesy with a smile/nod/thank you.

What the heck is so difficult about that for you to understand?

ResolutelyCheeky · 04/01/2013 01:27

That's a lot of 'trumping' model, perhaps you should use "excuse me" ? Grin

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 04/01/2013 18:53

I do think that people have priority over dogs.

Well yes, but what you're saying here is that people with children have priority over people with dogs. Bit of a difference.