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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask how you deal with the hypercondriac in your life

33 replies

LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 12:07

Someone i know but am spending more.and more time with is im.afraid,a nutjo. Please come and tell me if im being unreasonable and if not,.how do.i deal.with ths person.

The person in question always makes.a.drama out of the smallest thing. A slight cough is.pneumonia,a stomach ache is an ulcer, headache is a tumor and it goeas on and on.

Last night she came round for a curry and as she doesnt lkie spicy thngs i got her a korma. She finished about 10mins before the rest of us and when we were all finising off i tried a bit o the korma sauce froma freinds plate and said it was actually qite nice and not too coconutty. She pipes up and says (incredulously) theres nuts in it!? Didnt you know.i.was allergic! Sits tbere for 10 mins of so heavy breathing with hands on her stomach then says shes gonna have to go, she can feel her face 'blowing up' already Hmm the thing is, she hasnt got a fucking nut allergy she was happily packing away the bountys at xmas

OP posts:
Original poster
LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 12:07

Wait there posted too.soon

OP posts:
Original poster
LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 12:17

So she phoned me.today to.say.how.ill she had been and how could i not know.about her
imaginary allergy.

Its not just illness though eveything is.about her and if its not she swifly turns it around to be about her soon enough. Drama queen doesnt quite cut it. She seems to be a type of crazy ive never experienced before and im not sure how to deal with it

OP posts:
HecatePropolos · 03/01/2013 12:23

Offer to phone an ambulance?

Stop seeing her unless you have to?

Laugh and say well, the bounties you were packing away were coconut too?

Ask her in a very concerned voice if she's seen someone about her anxieties?

Ignore her?

Say "oh dear. Anyway, as I was saying..."?

Ask her why she turns everything round to herself?

Scream and say oh my GOD if I have to hear one more thing I am going to throw myself off the ROOF

Laugh and say "enough about me, what do YOU think about me" when she turns the conversation to herself

Be the more mature person and let it all roll over you while amusing yourself fantasising about the above Grin

Beaverfeaver · 03/01/2013 12:23

I have a nut allergy and can't eat a lot of Indian food because of the almonds they use in the sauces.
However, I can eat coconut and korma and bounties as coconut is actually a fruit...

Could she be allergic to fruit?
If so, she should know hat curries she can and can't have.

If you have an allergy you take it seriously and don't eat anything unless your sure, and make sure you have antihistamine on you or epinephrine for the worst case scenario,
She sounds like an idiot

HecatePropolos · 03/01/2013 12:25

Oh, I forgot Top Trumps. Grin

Go one better. Everything she says.

This is to be added to your fantasise about it while Being The Bigger Person List

Grin
AnyoneforTurps · 03/01/2013 12:39

Just be glad you're not her GP Wink

BunFagFreddie · 03/01/2013 12:43

Coconut isn't even a nut. Confused

Hammy02 · 03/01/2013 12:44

I know someone like this. She smokes like a chimney and worries why she can't shake off the cough she's had for weeks. She drinks a bottle and a half of wine a day and worries about her high blood pressure. When I suggest cutting down she just shrugs and says she can't! I've lost count of the number of times I've asked her to stop moaning about her poor health if she won't even try to address it.

CloudsAndTrees · 03/01/2013 12:44

Personally, I wouldn't have someone like that in my life unless they were closely related and I had no choice. Even then I'd distance myself as much as possible.

I cannot abide hypochondriacs. They drive me to the brink of craziness.

ComposHat · 03/01/2013 12:51

A friend of mine who was in her 80s had formerly been a medical secretary had a friend who was a terrible creaking gate who had every self diagnosed medical condition known to humankind (if you had a headache, she had a brain tumour etc. etc.)

Until my friend mischievously told the hypochondriac that a woman down the street had just had an orchidectomy performed. To which she responded 'ooh I've had that done myself it was awful' and was somewhat bemused why the assembled company were laughing themselves silly.

LadySybilPussPolham · 03/01/2013 12:55

Sounds infuriating but I think Hecate has your answers. Although you're a better woman than me if you manage to keep them in your head!

Original poster
LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 12:57

Offering to phone an ambluance wouldnt be a good idea she would happily accept convinced she is on the brink of death. Then probably tell everyone i tried to poison her

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Vagaceratops · 03/01/2013 13:02

God my BIL is like this.

I have refused to ever go out to family meals with him. Its really boring and embarrassing sitting there while he inspects and dissects everything on the menu, so that he doesnt upset his dairy intolerance.

Its even more annoying when I found him in the kitchen at Christmas stuffing his face with dairy milk.

EllieArroway · 03/01/2013 13:02

Have never done this on MN before because I am resolutely determined not to become one of the professionally offended (and I'm not offended now). But are you aware that hypochondria (better known as health anxiety) is actually a serious mental illness on a par with OCD and GAD?

I've suffered (and that's the right word) debilitating & serious health anxiety for about 20 years and feel a bit sad that you feel able to use the term "nutjob". Would you if you were talking about OCD or someone having a panic attack?

But that's not to say that I don't take your point - it IS very wearing when someone won't shut up about their health. I would drive myself crackers, so you have my sympathy.

But try to be aware that your friend may have no control over this and may be quite unwell. CBT could help.

LindyHemming · 03/01/2013 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieArroway · 03/01/2013 13:06

Its even more annoying when I found him in the kitchen at Christmas stuffing his face with dairy milk

There are people with HA & then there are idiots! That's hilarious! Did he not spot the two clues in the name.....Dairy & Milk! Grin

HollyBerryBush · 03/01/2013 13:10

We all know a perpetual moaner, the one that lives on google Dr forums and convinces them selves they have every ailment going. it is incredibly waring.

Original poster
LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 13:10

ellie i understand but this woman goes waay past hypercondriac. Im not sure what the word for it is but everything must be about her and this is just one way of controlling situations

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Vagaceratops · 03/01/2013 13:11

Its all about attention. Dairy allergy is the latest thing.

EllieArroway · 03/01/2013 13:13

Agreed - it's attention seeking. And bloody silly too - eating Bounties and then panicking about coconut in a Korma!?

I hasten to add, I have never been like that - so she might just be a drama queen. Very trying.

Original poster
LouisWalshsChristmasCloset · 03/01/2013 13:15

She will probably be more than happy to eat nuts next week then claim she doesnt know what im talkng about if i mention her allergy. Then bring up the occasional allergy whenever she sees an opportunity to manipulate a situation

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ILikeWhisperingToo · 03/01/2013 13:18

A coconut is a seed, not a nut though - isn't it?

HollyBerryBush · 03/01/2013 13:19

I have a really funny story - but I cant tell you becaue I think my friend posts here and she'd know I was ripping the piss talking about her!

Suffice to say she gets fixated on things, has these mad little obsessions, which last for 3 months until she gets bored, then has another one. Often health related, but not always.

HollyBerryBush · 03/01/2013 13:20

A coconut is a seed, not a nut though

all nuts are seeds!

A coconut is a fruit, I think

Rhubarbgarden · 03/01/2013 13:21

I have a friend like this. Despite pleading poverty all the time she recently went to Bangkok and paid £500 for a 'personal health check' which told her she needed her gall bladder removing. She came home and pestered her doctor, who repeatedly told her there was nothing wrong with her. Eventually he told her she could do it if she really believed it would help her many imaginary symptoms. She had the operation, and still complains about her symptoms all the time.

I've had to distance myself. She's been a good friend over the years and I feel bad about it, but her self obsession was driving me crazy.