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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect my 3 yr old to go to sleep when we take him to bed?

35 replies

miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:01

I know this should be under sleep but I need as much advice as possible! Our ds has a nap of 1 1/2 - 2 hours sleep after lunch, but people keep telling us we need to drop it now he's 3. So we're starting to slowly decrease it which he hates and sometimes screams that he wants to sleep longer.....but now it's taking him longer to get to sleep at night. He goes to bed at 7 has a couple of stories and i'm normally sitting with a cup of tea by 7.30. But for the past 2 weeks we've had every excuse for him to get up again. Tonight we've had a rougue sock, a piece of dodgy looking paper, a nappy, a straggly bit of duvet and now his brothers crying. He'll be up at 6 in the morning and he looks like shit.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry! Please any help?

OP posts:
CSIJanner · 31/12/2012 21:03

If its taking him longer to sleep, he may be overtiredi had this with my LO who didn't drop the afternoon nap until around 3.5. Could you try letting him nap a bit more in the afternoon but no later than 4pm? It worked for us

Anothercuppatea · 31/12/2012 21:06

I imagine dropping the nap will help. My ds dropped his at 2.5. Prior to dropping nap he wasn't going to sleep til after 9ish. He's now asleep at 7.30.
Sorry- sounds like you've already been told this. It us a difficult transition, but you'll have to work at keeping him awake all day.

Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:06

Thank you! I don't have an issue with him napping love the peace and quietbut over christmas everyone has acted shocked and amazed that my child should still need a nap let alone 2 hours worth!!

OP posts:
Meglet · 31/12/2012 21:06

It's a PITA isn't it. 4yo DD does that after bedtime most nights, and has done for the last 18 months. Roams the landing, my room, bathroom and stairs for 30 mins or so. She leaves little presents for me too.

She long since dropped her midday nap and she is certainly worn out at the end of the day, but I've not found a way of getting her to stay in bed once she's there. For a long time I would do rapid return or sit at her door so she couldn't get out but it just ruined my evening. Now I just snuggle her down, close her door and if she pootles about then I let her and I get on with what I have to do and ignore her.

My current plan is that she will grow out of it when she starts school in Sept. Hmm.

Anothercuppatea · 31/12/2012 21:08

Ok, sounds like you are getting conflicting advice! I don't really know. If he seems tired, you know him best. Perhaps he still needs the nap!

Fakebook · 31/12/2012 21:08

Definitely drop the nap. We dropped the nap at aged 2.5 with dd and it helped a lot.

Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:10

There probably isn't a correct answer, just wanted some impartial advice and any other similar stories. All my friends seem to have perfect children that sleep 7-7 from 5 minutes old......my 5 month old can still be up 4times a night Hmm

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Megsdaughter · 31/12/2012 21:12

Contary to other (been in childcare for 30 odd years) an over tired child will not go to sleep at night. If your DS was sleeping 2 hours he obviously still needs it.

I have had children give up sleep at a year and some not till they start school (and then still need half hour when they got home.

My rule was sleep as long as they need just not after 2.45.

backwardpossom · 31/12/2012 21:12

I would drop the nap, too. DS replaced his nap with a bit of chilled out downtime (jigsaw, bit of tv, story, whatever...) after lunch to recharge his batteries and goes to bed at about 8pm - he wakes up about 7:30am most mornings.

backwardpossom · 31/12/2012 21:13

Oh and he never ever did 7pm-7am!

ArfAPandaTreacle · 31/12/2012 21:15

Im going through exactly the same thing with my 19 month old. Hes dropped his naps.

But he had a 30 minute nap at 11am the other morning and he didnt go to sleep until 10pm because of it.

Yesterday he didnt nap.
Today he had 15 minutes.

My point is, they cannot deal with it suddenly taken from them.

Let him have half an hour for the next week. You'll just have to deal with the screaming, I personally find Peppa Pig programme a great wake up call.

Its a PITA in betweeny stage. But it doesnt last long.

ArfAPandaTreacle · 31/12/2012 21:17

'If he sleeps for two hours he obviously needs it.'

If you've worked in childcare for 30 years you must realise that the above is far from true.

Both mine would happily nap for 2-3 hours after lunch, if I let them. But I like them going to bed before midnight. Hmm

Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:21

Oh how confusing? Why don't they come with a mannual? I completley understand the overtired way if thinking, if i've got overtired i can't sleep, but at the same time if i've napped during the day it can prevent me sleeping....

Treacle - peppapig was a favourite in this house until the christmas one and santa scared him.....my child is odd!!

OP posts:
mungojerrie · 31/12/2012 21:25

Could you perhaps try him with a 'quiet' hour on the sofa with a dvd/cbeebies on instead of a nap?

homeaway · 31/12/2012 21:28

He was napping fine before and sleeping at night so I would go back to that and ignore what other people think. He will drop his nap when he is ready, why put yourselves through this when it is not working ?

goldenlula · 31/12/2012 21:29

Tbh, every child is different. Ds1 dropped his regular nap at 2.5 years, but if he slept on the odd occasion it had no effect on his bedtime, even if it was late in the afternoon. Ds2 stopped his regular nap before 2 and if if sleeps at all during the day (even 5 mins) it effects his bedtime. Cold you try an earlier nap maybe?

Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:31

My ds normally spends his days running round/dancing/singing one minute and concentrating on jigsaws/books/colouring the next. Past few days his concentration has decreased and getting him to 'play' has been a real struggle. Just wants to lay about in front of the tele looking like he hasn't slept in days. Even out yesterday he complained of tired sore legs.

OP posts:
Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:33

We decided to try and lessen his daytme nap as well as he had a spate of getting up at 5 am which was really afftecting me and more often than not waking his 5month old brother

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ceebeegeebies · 31/12/2012 21:35

I don't know what to advise tbh but if all was fine before you started messing with his nap, maybe go back to what you were doing before. He will let you know when he doesn't want to nap anymore (my 2 certainly did) and as long as it isn't affecting his bedtime sleep, let him do it.

However, if you do want to let him nap but shorten it (which is what I did), I used to find waking them up, sitting them on the sofa in front of their fave TV programme with a biscuit and drink for half an hour usually did the trick - they are grumpy as anything if you wake them up so just accept it and let them come out of it in their own time!

sausagesandwich34 · 31/12/2012 21:36

let the poor lad have his nap

I can remember in reception class there were still a couple of children having a nap after lunch, there used to be a little bed in the corner!

one of my dcs never did anything more than power nap, the other used to have a couple of hours -it's not unusual, it's just not what they are used to

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 31/12/2012 21:36

If he's still napping for that length od time at his age then 7pm is probably too early a bedtime for him. Keep the nap if he needs it and try putting him to bed at 7.30 or 7.45.

Iggly · 31/12/2012 21:37

My ds naps for two hours and goes to sleep at 8pm.

No nap = crashes at 6.30pm.

He's 3.3 now.

He needs plenty of physical exercise. A 30 mins play in the park isn't enough - he needs to do walking about eg walk around the shops, a run about in the park for an hour minimum and general fresh air.

How much time does your ds get outside? Fresh air makes the world of difference.

Megsdaughter · 31/12/2012 21:42

No Arf its not far from true.

9 times out of ten an over tired child will not settle at night.

I am also a mother and grandmother, so a lot of experience.

My present charges 2 and 4 both sleep, the 2 year old for half hour, the 4 year old an hour.

Both sleep 6.30 till 7.00, Mum phoned me yesterday (not worked since the 17th) and said over Christmas the elder has not slept as so much going on and has been really difficult to get to bed and not sleeping through. So she put him to bed after lunch.

He went to bed at normal time and slept through only waking once for the toilet.

dayshiftdoris · 31/12/2012 21:49

Please sdtop listen to advice and follow what you know about YOUR child...

You are the expert on your child x x x

Next time anyone mentions something he is or isn't doing lie and say that normally he does but today is an exception Grin

There is no right or wrong.

I had to throw out the book with my son and I stand by it now - i generally know what is up / needed - sometimes can;t fix it and it's still hard but following gut instinct is ok and good for you both. Have confidence in yourself

Now going to follow own advice

Original poster
miniegg1980 · 31/12/2012 21:59

I just want to do what's best for him.

Iggly normally the boy is outside but the awful weather and a waterlogged garden/flooded area hasn't helped recently. We live in a bungalow and running from one end to the other must cover some milage?!!

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