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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that having a tattoo of someone's name is... Not good

101 replies

NotAChocolateRaisin · 31/12/2012 20:41

Im in a grey area about names of the deceased or children's names but I personally would think it was tacky hideous not good if my mum had my name tattooed on her or if someone did after I died.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 01/01/2013 23:13

Hint you will in the future. You will also meet solicitors with visible tattoos. And teachers. Dentists.

They're exceedingly popular with people around my age. Who are entering such careers.

ImperialSantaKnickers · 01/01/2013 23:25

I wouldn't feel comfortable with the judgement of a professional I was consulting if I could see the tail end of a piece of body art creeping out of her/his collar, sleeve etc - I'd be thinking 'why did this person allow this to be done?', not focussing on what they're telling me.

Have no issues with body art that's only visible with casual/beach clothing.

Alisvolatpropiis · 01/01/2013 23:28

Imperial really? If you were sitting in an office discussing say,getting a divorce,the biggest issue would be tattoo? Interesting.

ravenAK · 01/01/2013 23:37

I know tattooed teachers, GPs, surgeons, solicitors, accountants, company directors...

Always seems peculiar when people who dislike tattoos proudly proclaim that they find them terribly distracting on other people.

You'd just vaguely note 'oh look, my consultant has Tweetie Pie tattooed on her wrist. Nice shoes, though' surely, rather than gawking at it. Very odd.

MurderOfGoths · 01/01/2013 23:56

"Always seems peculiar when people who dislike tattoos proudly proclaim that they find them terribly distracting on other people. "

Suggests the issue might be more with the viewer than the viewee Wink I do also wonder whether they find other visual things far to distracting? Would they stop listening if someone had vivid ginger hair? What about a spot? Or a birthmark?

MrsKeithRichards · 02/01/2013 00:04

Tattoos are fine. I love mine, even the ones done as a teen.

Names are meh. Not for me. But not everything is for everyone.

Being a judgey jerk? Less cool.

Ambi · 02/01/2013 00:08

I remember meeting someone in the pub with my name tattooed across his back in giant gothic letters, it was pretty freaky.

lunar1 · 02/01/2013 00:18

I have a small cartoon that reminds me of my first husband, always makes me smile no matter how tacky it is. It takes me back to that time in my life for a moment.

ImperialSantaKnickers · 02/01/2013 00:19

MurderOfGoths no-one chooses to have vivid ginger hair, a spot or a birthmark!

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/01/2013 00:21

Imperial lots of women dye their hair varying shades of ginger!

How rude to imply that nobody would choose to be a red head! I would myself if I could afford the upkeep.

ComposHat · 02/01/2013 00:21

I wouldn't feel comfortable with the judgement of a professional I was consulting if I could see the tail end of a piece of body art creeping out of her/his collar, sleeve etc - I'd be thinking 'why did this person allow this to be done?', not focussing on what they're telling me

Interesting and probably says a great deal about you. It marks you out as pretty shallow.

I bet you wouldn't extend this judgement to say, builders, plumbers or taxi drivers, whose professional services and competence you would need to trust is just as crucial as any of the occupations you have mentioned.

Your attitude reeks of class prejudice and petty snobbery. Tattoos okay for the proles but not for the likes if us. For what it is worth I know teachers, University lecturers and a solicitor with visible tattoos. All of whom seem to perform their jobs perfectly competently

If a surgeon was giving me a life saving operation I couldn't care if he had 'composhat smells of ass' tattooed on his forehead.

ImperialSantaKnickers · 02/01/2013 00:25

And Alis yes actually, if I was paying someone a lot of money for a professional service I'd expect them not to have the lack of judgement to have had an intrusive tattoo extending so far up their neck or down their wrist that normal business clothing no longer covers it. I would be wondering if that lack of judgement extended into their professional life. If I had a personal recommendation that would probably negate the impression, but if it was a person I'd been allocated randomly - say a junior doctor - it would definitely be a factor in how I felt about them and how I valued their advice.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/01/2013 00:26

That says quite a lot about you Imperial.

ImperialSantaKnickers · 02/01/2013 00:30

Are some of you lot having a go at me because HintOfBream has gone to bed? It was MurderOfGoths who started the ginger hair thing on this thread! Clearly too late at night to expect a civil conversation on here anymore.

Meow75isknittinglikemad · 02/01/2013 00:30

My DH was really ill in 2009, he almost died. A year later, I decided to have a bracelet tattoo on my right wrist to mark the fact that he was still around. Rather than names or even initials I decided to have the symbols for our star signs. I am not a believer of horoscopes, but they do provide convenient symbols for my purpose.

BRAG KLAXON: On December 1st, I had my GamesMaker tattoo finished on my left upper arm. 2012 was an epic year for this reason, and although I got lots of souvenirs, I wanted something that couldn't get lost in my tip of a house!!!!

expatinscotland · 02/01/2013 00:30

You think it's a grey area? That someone would like to have a memorial to their dead child on them?

Yeah, YABVU.

Our nine-year-old daughter died last July, and DH is saving to have her portrait tattooed on his shoulder.

And you know what, our child isn't around anymore to think anything is tacky or hideous. Instead, she's a hole in the ground.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/01/2013 00:32

No, it really doesn't, Alis. People make judgements on appearance all the time and I don't believe anybody who says they don't. They may not say anything but they will form whatever impression they form. Fact of life, like it or don't.

I really don't like the trend on MN of making sweeping aggressive statements like, "That says a lot about you". It doesn't.

ravenAK · 02/01/2013 01:27

Well no, it doesn't say a lot about you if you make judgments based on someone's visible tattoo.

It says you're a bit narrow minded, that's all. You might be perfectly lovely in every other respect.

But it is a peculiar & unfounded prejudice that apparently mildly but noticeably affects your ability to interact sensibly with other people, whereas having ink injected into one's dermis has absolutely no recorded ill effects whatsoever on the recipient's social skills.

MurderOfGoths · 02/01/2013 01:52

"MurderOfGoths no-one chooses to have vivid ginger hair, a spot or a birthmark!"

So you are only distracted to the point where you can't listen if someone has chosen to have a certain visual feature? Are you always this easily distracted?

GlitterySkulls · 02/01/2013 03:50

i have DH's name on my wrist, & a memorial tattoo a bit above that for my dad. will be getting the DC's names soon.

personally, i don't give a shit whether the doctor, nurse, consultant, lawyer, council official, funeral director, midwife, shop assistant, hairdresser, bus driver, dentist, vet,teacher, whatever has tattoo's, piercings, body mods, green/pink/blue hair, as long as they do their job properly who gives a fuck what they do with themselves*

hygiene is the only thing i'd freak about- dirty/ smelly people i wouldn't want to interact with

GlitterySkulls · 02/01/2013 04:02

also, expatinscotland , i followed your/ giraffes threads on here, i'm a "fan" of your beautiful daughters fb page, & i just wanted to say- your DH'S tattoo will be beautiful, meaningful & as far from tacky as you can get.

i have no comprehension of the pain you & DH & the rest of your family are going through, but i hope 2013's a better year for you & i'm sending love your way xxx

FellatioNelson · 02/01/2013 04:38

This seems to be a bit of a craze at the moment doesn't it? Gradually adding the names of every child you ever had, every family member who ever died, every date that is important in your life, etc, usually accompanied by a sentimental strap line, so your body ends up like a walking photo album/commemorative plate.

I don't like it personally, but then I internalize personal stuff and prefer to keep it in my head. Which is quite an old fashioned habit, but my feelings for people are no less valid for that. People are much more into ostentatious expression these days. Each to their own, but I am fairly anti-tattoo anyway. I have seen very, very few that I think look attractive and will stand the test of time, but lists of names down the length of someone arm don't really do it for me.

FellatioNelson · 02/01/2013 04:42

Although I can completely understand why, in the case of a deceased child there is an urge to do it. It's just that if your body starts reading like the Yellow Pages/your family tree it can devalue that a bit.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/01/2013 10:00

For me? Every word Fellatio has said is how I feel on this subject. I personally don't like them for any reason.

The difficulty, it seems, is that you can't post your own opinion on a subject without offending somebody else who holds a different opinion and can't seem to take in that it's just a difference of a opinion and not a personal condemnation of what they're doing/saying.

I couldn't care less what other people do as long as it doesn't affect or impact me. Some people like tattoos, some don't. Have them if you want to, inscribe your whole body with them, some will like them, some won't. Have the courage of your own convictions and not mind what other people think, it's your body and nobody else has to like it.

EmmaBemma · 02/01/2013 10:52

"Have the courage of your own convictions and not mind what other people think, it's your body."

I have tattoos so we're coming at this from different angles but I agree with every word. Getting my first tattoo was instructive in exactly this way - I hadn't realised how much weight I gave other people's opinions and was unprepared for how worried I was about what people would think. In a funny sort of way I think it has made me braver!