AIBU to tell my mother she can not visit alone this summer when I'm expecting my first child. My mother and I do not get along, I grew up mostly with my dad and when they were together it was a violent and scary place to live. My mother would change mood at the drop of a hat. She would grab for plates and knives, bust windows and scream at the police. I never knew of child services as a kid, my brother and I would cry as my mom would go from telling the police to arrest my father to driving drunk with us in the car to find him. Sometimes leave me in the house for days on own at eight cause she left with my brother and my dad had no idea I was there (police said for him to stay away from the house he had no idea I was there).
As an adult I am struggling to have a relationship with her. They live in another country but we make it about three days til she turns on a dime screaming at me telling me she hopes I live with regret that we aren't close. Couple of months ago my mother called the entire family she overdosed on pills and they rushed her to the hospital, thankfully she was lying but did take quite a few adivan (spelling) a medication she has been abusing for over ten years. My dad is such a buffer in all this, her relationship and mine.
She told me she's coming a month before the baby arrives and coming alone and my dad can come later. I have tried talking to her that I be more comfortable that she come with my father. I am trying to suggest that things will be hard with a newborn, post hospital and breast feeding but she continues to tell me she's coming. Part of me wants to tell her "no you are not coming alone".