To think if someone is happy living with parents

[atthewelles]

then let them get on with it. A couple of people in work have just been discussing a colleague who still lives with her mother in quite a dismissive way. She's 38 and, from what I can see, her and her mother get on really well. I don't think she's one of those adults living at home who still behaves like a teenager; expecting dinner on the table and ironing done etc. She just seems to be happy living with her mum and I presume her mum is happy to have the company.

AIBU to think that some people are quite happy to live at home and other people shouldn't judge?

I know a woman with three adult sons in their twenties who still live at home as enormous manly infants. Very weird. The mum makes them Disney style birthday cakes with baby talk versions of their names iced on. Several times a year the mum and dad take all three of these sons to Disneyworld Florida. I have noticed the mum doesn't even trust them to know how to turn on the thermostat in the house, she waits for 'dad' to come home and do it. She bemoans the fact that the three boys don't have girlfriends and have no desire to move out. but I think none of them have ever grown up. I think they spend their days smoking pot and living off mum and dad. There is another son who is married, I would love to meet the wife and ask her what she thinks of her three brothers in law.

I moved out at 18 and never looked back, I would rather die than move in with either parent but that's just me.

My friend is also 38 and she lives with her mother. My friend lived with her boyfriend about 10 years ago until they split up then she moved back home. She is saving for a deposit but needs to save £50k, that is not completely undoable as she has a well paid job but she enjoys her holidays and social life and doesn't want to put all her money into a savings account. Each to their own, they are both happy with the arrangements.

Provided that the adult child pays their full share of the bills, does their share of the housework and everyone is happy then its a personal arrangment. It is important that no one feels exploited.

My brother is 36 and pays no bills and is basic a paracite. He can afford glorious holidays because he doesn't pay his way. He deserves nothing but comtempt.

As long as both parties are happy with the arrangement and no one is taking advantage of the other one's good nature, ie by not paying their way or sharing housework etc, then it's no one else's business.

I was at home with mum until I was 30. Partly because I suffered horrendous depression in my early 20's and then because I simply couldn't afford to move out until I'd been working well for a few years and saved some money.

I was quite capable of looking after myself and doing housework, mum only cooked a meal once a week and apart from that we did our own thing. When I finally moved out it wasn't a shock living on my own.

I'm 38

Me and Dd share a room in my parents house. For various reasons I moved back home. I would be lost without the support of my parents. When I was expecting Dd, I was literally unable to do anything for myself. Severe SPD, and I ended up in a wheelchair, or needing a walking frame. My mum had to bath me, I couldn't get in/out of the shower on my own. It was just too painful. I could barely get myself dresed, I crawled up the stairs. Sometimes it took me 20 minutes to get from top to bottom. Without being at home, I wouldn't have managed and kept my sanity. 2013, hopefully will be the year that Dd and I can finally move on.....but I will be forever grateful to my parents for keeping me afloat.

I live with my parents. I pay a share of all the bills and buy / cook my own food. I do most of the cleaning / ironing and, although I work full time, also do 20 plus hours caring for an elderly relative who also lives with us.

I have never had a curfew at all but if I am going to be late / not coming home I let them know.

People do comment but that is more about their own issues. If I moved out I would still be doing the caring so would basically be paying bills on a house I only slept in.

My parents did a lot for me when I was growing up and we get along well.

My 49 year old sister moved back in with my widowed mum a few years ago. It works for both of them - basically because my sister is VERY patient and works long hours so isn't home much .

So YANBU!

I lived at home until I married a week after my 27th birthday. I paid house keeping and extra towards bills. I was happy with the situation, as we're my parents. I know very few people who moved out to live alone, most moved out to live with a partner and most were 20+. I am a responsible adult, perfectly capable of looking after myself but financially it made sense and it was convenient. I never felt the need to move out.