For telling 11 year old dd she can't come with us to see Les Mis?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

She turned 11 recently, still in primary school. Doesn't know about sex and stuff yet

From reading an American guide for parents website it seems the film shows fantine selling herself in a bit more detail (apparently it shows the man lowering her top, thrusting then leaving after paying)

Dd has friends at school who have been to see 12a films and indeed we have let her watch certain 12 dvd's (hairspray, Star Wars Harry potter etc)

Am I being a prude?

[WorraLorraTurkey]

Well hope doesn't stop STI's and pregnancy does it?

I would hope there would be no 12yr old parents in the UK but sadly there are.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

By he age of 12 children are at secondary school with generally more freedom as to where they go and who they go with

At the moment dd is taken to and collected from school/dance/ rehearsals.

The rest if the time she is home with us or occasionally invited to a schoolfriends's for a play date.

[seeker]

Well, if she doesn't know about sex at 11, she bloody well ought to, and it's irresponsible parenting not to make sure she does.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

For goodness sake until a week ago she believed in Santa.

[WorraLorraTurkey]

But how is she to handle the sex talk she'll be hearing from her peers?

How is she to make sense of that if you haven't spoken to her about it?

It's madness imo.

[seeker]

You can still believe in Santa and know about sex.

[cantspel]

sex is just biology, why would you keep it some dark secret from an 11 year old?

You dont have to give her a run down on blow jobs, anal or fisting but an 11 year old should be aware and informed of the basic facts.

[IsawFoofyShmoofingSantaClaus]

We are going with DS age 10. He is another musical theatre nut and adores les Mis. He knows about sex and I presume will stare at the ground/ceiling/inside of his hood for anything he would consider embarrassing. I'm a little concerned that there are other parts that he may find shocking or upsetting though. He's a sensitive soul and stuff stays with him. I will pm you HTD if that's ok?

[seeker]

Children should know all about how babies are made and where they come from at 6 at the latest.

[WorraLorraTurkey]

Indeed cantspel!

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I read that the sausages were filled with this and that in a very Sweeney Todd ish way.

[IsawFoofyShmoofingSantaClaus]

Oh and Yanbu to be concerned, certainly. It may well go mostly over her head, it's possible she knows far more about sex than she's letting on, it may be that this sparks a conversation where you can sensitively but matter of factly put things straight for her. Who knows? but I don't know if that would be the reason I wouldn't take her to see it.

[snowtunesgirl]

OP, by the age of 11 I'd had my first proper snog. Have you honestly not sat down with her or if not that, given her a book about it or something? This is what my parents did as they just couldn't do the sit down talk!

[CommanderShepard]

Coola my daughter 'saw' Avenue Q a fortnight before she was born she seemed to enjoy it though fortunately not enough to send me into labour! (Waters breaking during puppet sex might not have pleased the cast)

I'm taking her to see Les Mis but at 7 months I don't think she'll be bothered either way. (And before anyone starts frothing we're going to a Big Scream screening)

[IsawFoofyShmoofingSantaClaus]

Really pictures? Yuck. He might be ok with that. I have a sensitive stomach

[LittleChristmasBearPad]

You seem to want to stick your head in the sand even regarding periods, tampons etc let alone sex. Wouldn't you rather you led the discussion about this subject to guide your daughter rather than some random teacher. She will know something about sex and before long she or some of her friends may be having it.

[seeker]

And it's bizarre to think htwt not knowing about sex will stop you doing it!

Knowledge is power.

[LittleChristmasBearPad]

Also you say you don't want to engage because this isn't a thread about the school curriculum. That seems a strange attitude towards teaching your child about sex.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

FYI Dd knows about periods and she told me the school nurse will be giving hem tampon samples. As a dancer when the time comes she will prob want to get used to them as soon as possible rather than towels. We soothe to her about periods a couple of years ago even though she shows no signs of hitting puberty yet

She and her friends are never without adult supervision. ( well actually I gave permission for her to leave a show rehearsal at lunchtime to go to costa but her friends wernt allowed).

But this is nothing to do with les Mis.

[5madthings]

I dont know if yabu about the les mis as i havent seen.it but you are incredibly naive to think.an 11yr old doesnt know about sex. Ffs she could start her period soon and kids talk in the playground etc.

If she isin her last yr of primart befors high school she should be getting ready for the changes that brings ue walking ti and from school/clubs etc. Being lwft home alone or going to shops or friends etc. And she should know about sex and contraception, dont wait until she is at high school and learns it all via playground gossip (if she hasnt already!) or worse she experiments and you end up dealing with the consequences.

[OhlimpPricks]

When I referred to caution as regards kids sensitive dispositions, I mean things like the realities of life, and , er death. Death and dying and parting is often handled in kids films almost lightheartedly : Charlottes Web, Up, Toy Story, W ship down etc etc, but if it is played out in all seriousness for a mature audience, it may upset some younger movie goers. And the acting is bloody good. Every adult that was at the premier was bawling. Sensitive kids may struggle to process what is being acted out

[LadyBeagleBaublesandBells]

I don't understand that in the 21st century an 11 year old knows nothing about sex.
It's not up to the school, it's up to you. Buy her a book if you're uncomfortable with it.
And, though I've never seen Le Mis, surely, even in the stage production she knows she's a prostitute? Have you explained that to her?

[Picturesinthefirelight]

I wish she could walk from school to dance as at the moment I have to leave work early to escort her and her 3 friends. But school don't allow it.

She is never left home alone as there is never any opportunity to do so. There are no local shops within safe walking distance.

[Picturesinthefirelight]

The show dd was in recently her character actually died at the end if act one (and most of the audience cried) so I think she'd handle that.

[cantspel]

If you have covered with her about periods then surely you told her what they are and why they happen? Or does she think she will just have a random bleed every few weeks?