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Original poster

PIL dog - advice please

266 replies

MTBMummy · 28/12/2012 20:19

We're currently visiting the in laws for Xmas an their dog has just gone for me, u bent downto give him a sausage and he went for my face - punctured my eyelid and caused a blood blister and a lot of bruising - I'll be getting one of them to take me to the doctor tomorrow morning, they're very rural, and everyone has had a bit too much to drink, so cannot drive.

This in itself is bad enough, but the dog shortly after snapped at dd and hurt her hand - he did not draw blood, but obviously scared her.

My question is how do I handle this - in laws are brushing it under the carpet - I've not been able to speak to DP alone since it happened. But I just want to leave, I am worried about going to the doctor, will I have to report the dog? It's not the first time he's had a go at me, but it is the first time he's made contact.

I'm kind of scared of the dog an can't stand being around it or even have DD in the same room - and I'm normally a massive dog person.

Aside from a banging headache I'm ok, I've cleaned it up and taken some ibuprofen, it's a bit swollen and bruised but I think it'll be ok.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

OP posts:
yousmell · 29/12/2012 13:43

If only my IL's were more considerate like you PartridgeInASpicyPearTree. They would never consider restricting the dogs movements round the house.

eltsihT · 29/12/2012 14:03

Just to clarify when I said earlier dog bites don't tend lead to infection, I was told this by a nurse who was treating a dog bite on my sons head. I know all bites can, it is just less likely dog bites will than cat or human bites. Hope everything is ok after your trip to get checked out MTB.

MadameCastafiore · 29/12/2012 14:05

You do realise that unless you report this dog when it actually harms someone seriously you will be partly responsible don't you? What if it attacks a child in the street and that child is seriously hurt, will you be able to live with yourself? I sure as hell couldn't! What would people think of you if someone got seriously hurt and it was found out that you knew this dog was dangerous?

As for your injuries, I'd get down to the hospital and get checked out and ask them to report the incident. That way you won't have the heat on you but the issue will be addressed. And as for your eye, seriously you are not worried about permanent damage to your sight due to infection. My DH would be shoes on and in that car faster than he could blink no matter how much trouble it would cause with anyone.

Sargesaweyes · 29/12/2012 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HansieMom · 29/12/2012 15:24

Are you going back to PIL?? I do not understand why they went to hospital with you? I would just go home after medical care.

mrslaughan · 29/12/2012 15:35

Maybe this dog has done this to more than FIL, yourself and DD - and it is being "watched" so to speak.... and thats why MIL wants to minimise it. It is fucking outrageous.
Hope you have had eye checked, blurry vision very concerning.....you need to get that properly checked ASAP.
Let us know how you are

TeamSledward · 29/12/2012 15:44

I hope we haven't heard back from OP because she is on her way home with DD, and not because she's still in the hospital Sad

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 29/12/2012 15:50

my mum had a dog, a borzoi who was absolutely beautiful and very soft, when it died she got another, equally beautiful but it bit my dad one day, then on another occasion I reached over his basket to get a cloth off the radiator behind him and he bit me. It was excused as being terratorial about his own space then on xmas day morning it bit my mum quite badly, she had to go to A&E and have stitches and her wedding band cut off. when she got back she rang the vet and took him straight there to be put to sleep. said she would never trust him again and he would not be safe around her grandchildren. we were all Sad I cried all day, we had no presents and ate sausages for xmas dinner instead of the full turkey set up that had been planned. I know they did the right thing but looking back I cant help blaming my dad and brother for being too brutal with him to 'train' him. they used to shout to get him in his basket and I saw brother kick his basket when he was in it, tbh I think they made him nervous and he just reacted. very sad but some dogs just cannot be around many people, and some just have misguided owners. Sad

Original poster
MTBMummy · 29/12/2012 15:58

Hi all - sorry for not responding sooner. We took DD to the beach after I got checked out, so she could let off some steam. We'll be staying tonight at PIL's but they have agreed to lock te dog away. And we'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning.

Saw the doctor and I have a hole in my eyelid which he has suggested is better to heal naturally as closing it may not allow infection to be spotted. My eye itself is scratched, so I have cream for my eye and anti-biotics for the infection. I've lost a little vision, but they hope it's down to swelling and not permanent.

The only reason for staying tonight I so we can have an adult conversation about the dogs and what they plan to do with regards to managing the dogs while maintaining a relationship with DD.

I have reported the dog and mentioned it snapped at DD and has bitten FiL. The hospital have said they'll make the complaint and keep me in the loop.

Thanks so much everyone and sorry for not coming back sooner

OP posts:
Bobyan · 29/12/2012 16:04

Glad you're OK (sort of)...

EuphemiaInExcelsis · 29/12/2012 16:22

Fucking hell you could so easily have lost an eye!

Your PILs need a big dose of getting their priorities right!

Montybojangles · 29/12/2012 16:26

Hope your vision gets better quickly.
I'm a dog lover, but would have to take mine to the vets to be PTS if she ever attacked people the way this dog has done. I think your ILs need to face up to the fact that this dog has a nasty habit and next time it could cost a child a life.

clam · 29/12/2012 16:27

You have a hole in your eyelid and have lost some vision, yet they say you were over-reacting?????

Inertia · 29/12/2012 18:10

Perhaps seeing you again with the report from the hospital will make PIL think about their priorities. I think you and DH might want to go into the meeting with a united front - personally I would not visit again unless the dog was put to sleep, given that it has now bitten three people including your DD ; I'd insist that other dogs were locked away when visitors were there.

Chottie · 29/12/2012 19:37

I am so pleased you have received some medical attention. I hope your eye fully recovers, please go to any follow-up visits to ensure all is well.

I am shocked beyond words about your PiL and their attitude to a dog. I hope you manage to work things out and find a solution which suits you all.

yousmell · 29/12/2012 20:53

Well done.

Whocansay · 29/12/2012 20:59

I hope you're ok and the conversation goes well. I'm still utterly shocked at their lack of concern for your welfare. And I hope that your DH is now giving you his full support.

nannyl · 29/12/2012 22:38

I am very much a dog person too.... I love dogs and even many dogs who seem aggressive seem to like band trust me, as I'm really not afraid....

There is no way I or my children would be in the vicinity of the dog you describe.

I hope you get medical attention and home soon.

Perhaps it would be better for this aggressive dog to be reported etc

Could you live with yourself if the next person was even more seriously hurt?

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 30/12/2012 00:02

Good luck talking to your inlaws OP.

Original poster
MTBMummy · 30/12/2012 10:09

Thanks all - just to update you last night really didn't go well, their view is that we just have to accept that the dog bites, they also mentioned their other dog frequently bites people - I was shocked, it's the first I've heard of this.

I've told them we won't be visiting again, and while they're welcome to visit their dogs will not be allowed on our property.

So once again I'm the bad guy keeping them from their son and DGD.

They just don't get it at all and think its acceptable behaviour. They did say they'd speak to a behaviourist, but I'm not holding out any hope as they spoke the same woman about issues with their first dog but never took her advice or attended the training she recommended.

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 30/12/2012 10:13

Thank you for updating. Somehow I thought that would be their reaction Angry Some people are absolutely arses when it comes to their dogs. Glad your dh is backing you up and I hope your eye makes a full recovery.

ChristmasJubilee · 30/12/2012 10:24

Well, if you just have to accept that their dogs bite, they will just have to accept that they will only be having supervised access to dd in your home and they will have to make arrangements to have the dogs looked after when visiting.

Are your dh and yourself now in agreement?

Have a safe journey home.

DontmindifIdo · 30/12/2012 10:33

Jesus - your eye sight could be permanently damaged (with all the fall out included in that, is it bad enough that you would have to stop driving?), and they still don't think it's a big deal? I would be going balistic at your DH and refusing to see them at all until you got a full apology and the dog was put down. It's not safe and they don't seem to give a shit about other people's safety. I assume your DH has apologised for putting you and your DD in such a dangerous position?

DontmindifIdo · 30/12/2012 10:34

also, people who take safety of others so slackly and are so selfish aren't good people to ever be left in sole charge of your DD regardless of the dog being there or not.

FryOneFatManic · 30/12/2012 10:43

Would they still say that people have to accept the dog bites if they ever get hauled up into court because the dog bit someone outside the home? Doubt the court would accept that.

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