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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

PIL dog - advice please

266 replies

MTBMummy · 28/12/2012 20:19

We're currently visiting the in laws for Xmas an their dog has just gone for me, u bent downto give him a sausage and he went for my face - punctured my eyelid and caused a blood blister and a lot of bruising - I'll be getting one of them to take me to the doctor tomorrow morning, they're very rural, and everyone has had a bit too much to drink, so cannot drive.

This in itself is bad enough, but the dog shortly after snapped at dd and hurt her hand - he did not draw blood, but obviously scared her.

My question is how do I handle this - in laws are brushing it under the carpet - I've not been able to speak to DP alone since it happened. But I just want to leave, I am worried about going to the doctor, will I have to report the dog? It's not the first time he's had a go at me, but it is the first time he's made contact.

I'm kind of scared of the dog an can't stand being around it or even have DD in the same room - and I'm normally a massive dog person.

Aside from a banging headache I'm ok, I've cleaned it up and taken some ibuprofen, it's a bit swollen and bruised but I think it'll be ok.

Any ideas on how to handle this?

OP posts:

MadamFolly · 29/12/2012 09:53

Please g to A&E, I'm concerned about your blurred vision, you could have serious damage and eyes can deteriorate quickly.

Fuck the dig, report and get it put down, its bitten 3 times unprovoked. Its a menace.

MadamFolly · 29/12/2012 09:53

*dog

festivelyfocussed · 29/12/2012 09:54

Echo footface's comments.
at your DP's attitude though. If that were my DH the dog would be on the way to the vet.

Original poster

MTBMummy · 29/12/2012 09:57

Just wanted to say thank you for all your support and comments, about to go into a signal dead zone and no wifi. But will update you all ASAP.

Your support has given me the strength to stand my ground and I will report te dog, I really don't want it biting someone else knowing I could have done something to stop it.

On the plus side DP has come round to seeing my side.

OP posts:

Original poster

MTBMummy · 29/12/2012 09:59

It's a collie dog, that was rescued from a working farm as it was afraid of sheep, and their other dog is also a collie. Both have had no training.

Right off line for a while now while I get this checked out

Thank you all so much

OP posts:

festivelyfocussed · 29/12/2012 10:03

Get medical attention for that eye. Hurrah for DP now he's on board.
Tetanus jab today for anyone who's skin was punctured.

Arithmeticulous · 29/12/2012 10:07

Have you got medical attention yet?

I'm not sure the police could do anything with the dog as the attack was in a house- people have been killed by dogs on private land and the police couldn't prosecute. However I would be phoning 101 and doing my best to get it on record.

SecretSantaFix · 29/12/2012 10:16

Collies are one breed that, with proper and consistent training and tasks to do, are usually brilliant dogs. My old girl was PTS because of cancer 2 years ago and I have always said that until I have the time and space to have another Border Collie, I wouldn't have one. They need lots of stimulation or they become bored. Bored sheepdogs become nippy and destructive and drive everyone around them potty.

Sounds like your PIL have failed in their responsibility to the dog and you are bearing the fruits of that failure.

Bobyan · 29/12/2012 10:18

The dog has already bitten three people, how many is an acceptable number before it is put down?

Bitchplease · 29/12/2012 10:19

I hope you're alright OP, I've read this thread in disbelief. How dare they not put you first! Had that been my dog that bit you I would have you in a taxi straight to a&e.

TheNebulousBoojum · 29/12/2012 10:24

You've read this thread in disbelief?
There are a lot of people whose attitudes would reflect the PIL's response, which is why dog bites will continue to be a problem.

MrsTomHardy · 29/12/2012 10:41

Hope you do get your face looked at OP.

How can your InLaws be so unbothered by these events especially when you have a DD!!!!

FestiveWench · 29/12/2012 10:52

We had similar problems with a collie snapping at people and occasionally hurting them. We were terrified that we'd have got have her put down but after a few months of proper training she was a different lovely dog.
Collies have a real pack mentality IME and have to be firmly taught that they are not 'top dog'.

Good luck.

jessjessjess · 29/12/2012 10:52

OP I really hope you are okay. I am in shock after reading your thread. I am horrified that you were made to feel you had to wait until today to check it out, and frankly also horrified that your DP had to "come round".

My in-laws have dogs. I don't drive. If one of them bit me and my DH refused to help me get it looked at right then, it would be game over. Nobody's hurt feelings - not the dog, or the in-laws - should have trumped your need for urgent medical attention. It's great that he has come round but why the actual feck did he need to? You don't drive, you needed his help and support, and he wanted to deny you medical attention you should have had immediately? He should have been calling a taxi or an ambulance. I find it disturbing that he didn't.

Astelia · 29/12/2012 11:44

I hope you have had your eye checked out now OP and your DD has had her hand looked at. You can't be too careful as infections can easily result from bites. A friend of mine's daughter was bitten and ended up in hospital for four days due to infections.

Original poster

MTBMummy · 29/12/2012 11:52

I'm at the hospital at the moment waiting to be seen, PIL's tried to insist in waiting with me, but have told them to leave me alone while DD and I get checked out.

Signal is ropey at best, so I'm hoping this will post.

Some very stern words will be had with PIL's and they will be for ed to finally chose between their dogs and their DGD, especially as we're trying for #2 I'm not prepared to risk this again, not put anyone else at risk.

I will be making a complaint about this dog, even if it just means its on record, as it was at their house.

Can't thank you all enough - was definitely in shock last night, and I'm used to being bullied by them, so you have all helped so much.

For the person that asked the dog is about 2 years old, maybe 3 at a push. Have taken a photo of it too so I can show what it looked like at the time of the bite

And lastly DD's skin not broken, but don't trust anyone else with her right now.

OP posts:

festivelyfocussed · 29/12/2012 11:56

hermioneweasley · 29/12/2012 12:06

Well done MTB. Your PIL sound in denial and you have done the right thing. Hope your eye is ok.

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 29/12/2012 12:12

The fact that this is an untrained collie is no suprise! Really, collies are dogs that need serious training and stimulation. A collie without these is a recipe for disaster. They have very strong instincts, have been bred for centuries for a very specific job. IMO they are one dog which should come with serious controls and regulations about ownership.

Footface · 29/12/2012 12:27

Glad your getting medical help finally, fingers crossed for you that everything is fine.

Fwiw my mil has a dog, it is a lovely dog, she'd had a few years when one day it was sitting on the sofa next to me and got very loud , snarling barking, really out if character. I asked her what was wrong with him.

She went on to explain that he didn't like people walking past windows, and that he had been rehomed through the dog trust because he had bitten a little girl of the family he used to live with.

The psychologist who had accessed him said he was not to be placed in a family home as it didn't suit him. ( she has 5 grandchildren) but from then I have said we will only visit if he's not there.

It causes fiction, but to me and my dc's it's not worth the risk.

yousmell · 29/12/2012 12:49

Well done, you are doing all the right things to protect your family and possibly other people too. At hospital can you mention that the dog has bitten your FIL's face previously?

Just wanted to add that my IL's have a couple of rescue dogs too and we find it impossible when we have visited with our three children (including a toddler and a baby). The dogs have free access to all rooms and wander everywhere. My IL's blindly trust their dogs and believe they can never do any wrong. Also I can't trust MIL to watch the kids while I nip to the loo, load the car or to get a nappy as she will just leave kids alone with the dogs. My IL's also have a habbit of doing little experiments with behavior. I just can't relax and spend any visit on edge so much so, we haven't visited in over a year. Despite being with the kids constantly last time my eldest got nipped calmly walking down the drive.

PartridgeInASpicyPearTree · 29/12/2012 13:05

I hope you're being checked over and it's not too serious. People like your PIL make me furious for two reasons. Firstly and most importantly because they put you and your DD at risk. But also because they give all dog owners a bad name by behaving so irresponsibly. We had a family bust up over a visit that could have been completely avoided with a discussion about how to manage our dogs, but a family member assumed that because our dogs are very important to us, we wouldn't consider anything but having them loose all over the house with unrestricted access to children. Very frustrating as we are not like that at all and had many ideas about how to make sure the DS never even saw the dogs if they didn't want him to! I like to think most people are responsible, but I mighy be wrong. Unfortunately you only ever hear the bad, not "I went to so and so's and they were very careful with their dogs and no one got hurt"!

Bakingtins · 29/12/2012 13:21

"dog bites don't tend to lead to infections" sorry but this is dangerous nonsense. Dog have horrible bacteria in their mouth and any bite injury that has broken the skin, quite apart from the fact that your eye is involved, should have immediate medical attention and be treated with antibiotics.
I hope you have got yourself and your DD out of there and made it clear you are not going back unless the dog is crated or otherwise kept out of the room for the duration of your visit.
I'm a dog owner and dog lover and if my dog bit someone unprovoked I would be seriously considering having her PTS.

Cortana · 29/12/2012 13:29

Not sure if this has been said, have read all OP's posts but not whole thread. No harm in saying it again.

Can you and DP put pressure on PIL to take the dog to the vets? It might just be bad training but biting unprovoked can be a sign the dog is unwell or in pain.

Glad your DP is on side now and I hope all goes well for you at the hospital.

Chottie · 29/12/2012 13:35

OP please post again, I hope all is well with your eye. I logged back in to check you had gone to A&E and am really pleased to know you have.

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