To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

Well we don't know that, as no-one actually spoke to the parents. Maybe had they said 'excuse me would you mind sitting in the original seat' they would have said 'certainly'.

:problem solved:

I much prefer the people who talk to me over the ones who swallow a wasp.

I remember when DS1 was a year old.

Autism hadn't even entered my consciousness. He was 'normal'. We were a 'normal family'.

Could so easily change....

Jesus wept. DON'T SAY "SN KIDS" Please.

So presumably he shouldn't be allowed out then Margey...or at least not be allowed to attend a pantomime. How terrible that he was allowed to be himself in a noisy busy pantomime.

I?d probably feel irritated too but if that was enough to ?ruin? my panto evening I?d also feel I was being a bit? well? petty. And I imagine that?s why the OP didn?t say anything at the time. All the pantos I?ve ever been to have been full of perfectly ordinary kids bouncing noisily around, and while this kid?s behaviour is unusual (and perhaps the OP found it especially distracting for that reason) it doesn?t sound so much more disruptive than the usual row of families with kids, toddlers needing to be taken to the toilet, etc etc. OK, I might feel disappointed if I thought I was going to get a whole empty row in front of me, but I wouldn?t let it spoil all my fun. If the kids can have a good time, I?d mentally step back and take a lesson from that.

My own expensive theatre trip was not ruined by the small child nearby who was obviously much too young to enjoy a full-length Shakespeare play and whose mother spent the whole play alternately scolding him and pacifying him with loudly crinkly sweets during the quiet bits. The play was lovely anyway, and maybe that was the only way his mother could see the play at all. And I could look proudly at my Aspie teenage DS who was behaving impeccably and enjoying the play undisturbed by any ?noises off? -- having been familiarised with theatres at plenty of family-friendly shows when younger.

Margeysimpson

Scroll back and read KungfuPandas posts

they are not sn kids
they can not be compared with a baby.
wow thick or what.

For the love of sodding Camelot (I'm missing Sat-night-Merlin) why did no-one just ask him to move.

Margeysimpson

I don't think you and madthings are on the same page here at all.

Nice views you have there though

I cannot believe the utter lack of compassion I have seen on this thread. I didn't think people thought like that anymore. Clearly I've been living in a bubble!

Calling people cunts for daring to express a viewpoint in a debate is pathetic.how would these parents of sn children react to name calling aimed at their children?
Or is being inclusive a one way thing?

Children are accepting if in a situation like this it would be a great time to show compassion and understanding and so they could learn from your example

I very much doubt many children complain the learn this behaviour to not be accepting from adults mainly their parents

This thread has made me stop and think about being a parent of a child with SNs. And maybe understand more. Thanks to the posters who have taken the time. And I can't be the only one to be shocked at the preciousness and entitlement of some people.

And it was a frigging pantomime. I have had a fair amount to drink now, but this thread is fucking depressing. Do you know what, just go to the panto, ask the dad to move his son if you must, but don't just sit there tightening your arse about it. Or, alternatively, just don't get worked up about it, or even think that it's lovely to see someone enjoying themselves. FFS.

I'm trying to say that obviously since SN kids and parents have it hard, they should be cut slack for anti-social behaviour. BUT this was a situation where it was hard to be compromising because there wasn't room for it!

Good lord, so you can manage some pity because we 'have it hard' but that doesnt stretch to tolerance or empathy?

Nice.

or perhaps even think...

I ask you again MS, what should the parents do? Presumably keep their child at home.

demented when ds1 was last told to 'fuck off' he was being followed around at the time by a 19 year old lovely young man, who had quite strong words in return (good).

When he was last screamed at, I was with him. I HAD to scream back (I screamed 'he doesn't understand what you are saying - he is severely autistic and cannot talk') because I couldn't make myself heard in any other way.

HTH

"behave how he wants"

if the child has asd/autism or a disability they are not behaving how they want.
they are disabled. is it so hard to get really

"Plenty of parents have a hard job"

You don't know you're born