To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

morningrunner - see my post above yours

Is a little consideration for other people too much to ask?

No! A little consideration for disabled people and their families would be wonderful.

morningrunner - quite a few people have answered your question and explained that it might be physically difficult to move an eleven-year-old who doesn't want to be moved, and/or that it might trigger a full-blown meltdown with would cause more disruption.

Fuck me there are some scary views on this thread. Jaw dropping.

The OP was BU for a start. Turns out plenty more people joined in with BU.

I hugely appreciate the time and patience parents have shown on this thread, explainging their experiences and perspective. It is humbling.

I have a question, and I am really not trolling or trying to upset anyone, so I do apologise if it has that effect.

I get the point about SN kids having behaviours they can't control, and if this isn't accepted, then 100% of their outings are spoilt, so on the odd occasion when others are disrupted then that's the price to pay for a tolerant and inclusive society. But what if the behaviour is more than disruptive to a child with different SNs? My DN has hearing loss and if she was sat next to a child shouting and making noise, she genuinely wouldn't be able to hear.

Do you think this is part f the same equation - she won't be sat next to a kid with these behaviours at every panto, so it's part of her learning about others' needs? Genuinely interested n thoughts and perspectives on this.

Oh not professionally outraged again. FFS.

I have asked repeatedly why the OP didn't ask the dad to move the child back. I tend to put my head down and avoid eye contact with other people when out with ds1 as I'm so used to getting grief, but if people are pleasant to us I will be pleasant back.

I cannot imagine that at a pantomime all the children were sitting quietly - it is not a situation that lends itself to 'hear a pin drop' quietness is it?

I suspect the reason this thread was posted has to do with not liking to see a disabled person and their behaviours nearby tbh.

Where I live there is a play scheme for children with SEN and they arrange trips to places like Lego Land. The manager told me that people have been very nasty to the children when they go on these trips because they're intolerant bastards, basically.

morningrunner perhaps the OP should have asked the dad to move back.

Your 'professionally offended' is a bit rich, frankly.

Have read quite a lot of this thread and interested in the comments from both "sides". The views of parents with SN children who want their children's' behaviour to be accepted in wider society, and the views of those who want to enjoy family events and outings without being "disrupted". I was at a park once with toddler DS who ran away from me. I ran after him and gathered him up, turned round and was hit and then bitten by a SN boy of about 12 whose mother said " he probably thought you were going to hurt your little boy".OK but who was in the right. The mother whom wanted her SN boy to enjoy playing in the park, or the mother who wanted to play with HER little boy in the park, without being assaulted. Maybe there is no easy answer....

We get staring but never had people being nasty and aggressive - perhaps we've been very lucky?! I am worried if that ever does happen as I will be likely to see red. My dd actually went to a MS school for several years while on her ABA programme. The children in her class were lovely - they tried to include her as much as they could and invited her to parties.

Children like ours are so vulnerable - they deserve the protection and compassion of our society not condemnation and discrimination.

Ok, I understand the point about one not 'trumping' the other.

demented - an assault is an attack with intent - I doubt that was the case!

People should accept that in an inclusive society you will see children like this - deal with it! Would you prefer they were all locked away as would have happened many years ago?

Demented - did the mother really not apologise when her son bit you? I can appreciate that it's difficult (impossible?) to restrain a 12 year old, but I can't imagine not being apologetic in that situation.

I had a post removed yet never once 'stated or suggested' that the child should have been removed.

Was it an angry mum who reported me?

Maybe it was something other than that that you said that was offensive?

Don't you remember what you wrote?

any one who ever says
sn boy is in the wrong.......ffs

Well yes, quite.
Why the OP had to just goggle at this kid I don't know.
Not staring was an option...