To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

another depressing thread I thought this was the season of goodwill and compassion

when ds went to see Santa there was a little boy there who I am guessing though I could be wrong had autism, yes he was a little noisey but if my 5 year old son can grasp that for some children and adults their behaviour is different but that's ok then why the fuck can't some adults. It may have distracted you from the performance slighty but so what it is is one night teach your children that this may happen at times and that this is ok and now is a good it is a good time to explain why

Maybe this is insanely over-optimistic, but is there any sort of campaign, for want of a better word, that MN could come up with? Something about explaining what "tolerance" actually means. People seem to think it means "being nice to disabled people as long as they don't actually do anything not nice", whereas, in my view, the whole point of tolerance is accepting something that negatively affects you, or which you really don't like, because it is the right thing to do.

The word seems to have become a bit ineffective these days. People pay lip service to it while openly expressing views that are the complete opposite of tolerance.

Perhaps something along the lines of "Tolerance is..." with different scenarios, all making it absolutely, uncompromisingly clear that in order to fully include children with severe disabilities, people might have to accept a bit of disruption once in a while.

And a request to people to "sign up" to an agreement to show that tolerance when it is their time to find themselves irritated/disrupted/whatever by disability.

I don't know. Maybe it's all too vague. But MN has a lot of clout, and the media are interested in some of the things that are discussed on here - and there are the blogging links. It might be worth a try.

Fantastic idea!
C'mon MN!

great idea kungfu

MN has the power to educate many why not use this power more

Me too zzzz, I said it could be MN's New Years resolution.

Sad post captchaos - we are at the being taught in the corridor phase. I have no evidence but I do wonder about the parents complaining possibility. Hopefully not.

Have trawled through thread, feeling thorough depressed, but with not much to say that hasn't already been said eloquently by zzzzz, starfish enterprise, kungfupanda etc.

But had to post just to say that Kungfupanda's, tolerance is..., idea is brilliant. Hope MNHQ thinks so too.

It was a fucking PANTOMINE!
Theatre show, my arse!

oh another lovely classic MN disabled-bashing thread. Well done, OP - not only did you fail to understand that disabled people have a right to go out of the house even though you spent £100 on your precious tickets,

BUT ALSO, you found it commendable the the poor child's father threatened him.

Can some of you who have kids with HFA also bear in mind that severely autistic children cannot be reasoned with??

My dd has quite severe autism - she cannot be kept quiet sometimes or reasoned with. Does that mean she deserves to be kept in the house? Because she can't actually help the way she is.

zzzzzzzzzz yes I am!

I see it seems to be the same posters making the same f*ing ignorant comments on every thread.

ASD is a wide spectrum. Please don't assume that your child with ASD is like everyone else's (I'm sure I never do) and that because your child has ASD you know about every other child that does. Some children with ASD are much higher functioning than others. Some can't talk at all and don't understand much language.

Glad people don't think it's a daft idea!

Fab idea and posts Kungfu.

kungfupanda - that is a great idea. There have just been way too many of these sorts of threads lately, actually.

perception

That is what I find hardest about these threads.

parents of children with ASD who come on and back up the OP saying how they wouldnt 'allow' their child to do that etc etc

I think they either don't have such serious difficulties and so haven't experienced it or else they spend their whole life shushing their child so as not to bother the general public.

I say this as the parent of an autistic child, but whos autism is not as severe as some people on here children have it.

But who still cant always be reasoned with and I understand that it is like that and more for lots of parents.

but its always those posts that the ignorant folk cling onto isnt it? so and so said they wouldnt do that so they must be right and il ignore all the rest of the posts saying otherwise.

Its like racists who say they know a black man who doesn't mind racist jokes so they'll keep on doing it.

Yes great idea Kungfupanda

"Once and for all" jiggling, rocking, flapping are very different to jumping up and down on a chair, shouting and banging your head with a shoe. No one is complaining about a bit of jiggling here. The vast majority of people can overlook some jiggling. How would you deal with the behaviour described?