To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

Festive ime ds1 breathing ruins the day for some people

Those people are being intentionally bigoted, and I don't think people shoudl lumped in with people like that just for wanting to see and hear a show.

We had an almost identical experience last night, it was a family of 5 and the mother was just as bad as the kids, I don't think they had SN, they were just a loud annoying family who were enjoying themselves far too much.

I eventually did say something when it got to the 3d part of the panto and the boy in front kept 'punching' the stuff coming at him and jumping all around the place. He stopped and behaved nicely the rest of the time after that.

You should have said something.

And yes, at panto - noise and movement is par for the course but there is a limit and panto is bloody expensive!

oh ffs
when will people realise that being disabled is not some life style choice.
some of the posts on here are vile.
of course a child with sn should be able to go to the pantomime
if people are offended by them, they should move.
easy.
the family with the disabled child will have paid to see the show a well.
why should they leave.
apart from that being discrimination and I think illegal, it is nasty

Your judgments sound like they would be fair then Saintly, and that's all anyone can expect.

What constitutes spoiling

I would say that a show I'd spoiled for someone if they had been unable to see or hear around 40% of the performance or more.

Oh but I'm sure there are people grumbling away somewhere about us.

I ignore the double teapots as well. Wankers.

What I really can't comprehend is that in the OP's case we are talking about a PANTO....the very essence of noisy and disruptive. My son struggles in some environment but in a Panto I'd feel he could be himself and join n the general chaos and noise without someone moaning because he can is "different".

I have taken him out of cinemas on the other hand if he becomes noisy. As a child with a disability we can get in for a £1 each which means I don't lose too much but everyone else's viewing is not disrupted.

No I am not ashamed.

I would be ashamed.if I was a disablist arsehole though.

Jake Pantos aren't noisy the entire time through and you still want to be able to hear/see the jokes.

Yes. .let the disabled person spoil 40% of the performance then chuck em out. Sit there with a big stopwatch then say "you have had your quota of being disabled now get out"

Last time I took DS to a Panto he was impeccable to be fair, he laughed at the appropriate places, got over excited at times but I was able to calm him down.

I think it's easier to ask staff if seats can be changed if there is a noisy child with the non-disabled people making the move. I would find it too hard to enjoy a Panto if I felt DS was disturbing people though....such is life when you have a disabled child and I'd probably end up leaving thereby wasting a ticket or tickets.

I actually jst spent 30 mins shushing my DD in a cafe as I am considerate..festive.

Still think your views are appalling though.

Difficulty is how do you manage it? Do you say to the disabled person, sorry, you've wasted your money and will have to go? Or do you accept when you buy tickets that people with disabilities will also be able to do the same and it might end up being difficult?

I don't know what the answer is apart from free tickets if you have a disability (for the disabled person and Carer) and allow them to make a decision to try again in a day or so.

Like it or not, those with disabilities are still part of,society and sometimes you have to think "there but for the grace of God" etc.

But hey..thanks for fighting for the rights of the NT..a worthy cause

It would be an extreme situation for it to be 100% ruined, I agree. But I'm still surprised that others would say it's ok for that to happen, in any circumstances.

Like it or not those with disabilities are still part of society
I don't know what to say to this.

I'm not fighting for the right of the NT Fanjo. I'm arguing for the rights of everyone. I'm arguing for the rights of

People with ASD who cannot tolerate disruptive behaviour happening near them
People who are otherwise disabled and who have had to make a big effort to get out to the theatre
People who have ASD that results in difficult behaviour (as they shouldn't be affected by someone who is just bigoted)
People who have saved up all year to be able to afford a trip to the panto
People who have any number of difficult circumstances going on on their lives and are hoping to enjoy a one off experience

All of those people have as much right to enjoy the theatre as someone who displays disruptive behaviour as a symptom of their disability, but you are arguing that they don't have as much right to enjoyment.

Surely this isn't about segregation or banning children with SN from public events but the father's spectacular mishandling of the event?

He chose to dump his child, who probably has ASD, in the row in front of him. Away from his family. So, the child was either on his own or around strangers. Neither seem like a good idea for an child with autism to me. Having worked with children/teenagers on the spectrum the vast majority (I'll admit not all!!) I have met will bolt when they are stressed/over stimulated/bored or just feel like it(that or curl up in a ball under their chair)! If he'd bolted the 'other way' (away from his parents) down the row he could have made some distance/got lost before someone caught up with him. Equally it is possible that someone could have been hurt (not necessarily intentionally but by a flailing shoe for example). Surely this isn't ok, if it can be avoided by the child sitting with/nearer his family (which he would have to have done if all the seats were full)?

When the child's behaviour became disruptive the father was verbally aggressive and threatened his son. I've never met an autistic child who has responded well to being shouted as or threatened.

I know that no human being is perfect half the time, let alone all the time, but this shouldn't stop the OP pointing out that the situation was badly handled and she was annoyed by it. I feel for the boy if that is how he is dealt with by his parents on a regular basis.

If I knew that my child, or student, was prone to jumping up and down and hitting himself with his shoe when excited I would seat him in a place where he can do that as much as he wants/needs and cause a little disruption to others as possible, a compromise that helps everyone, failing that I would certainly not deliberately move him to sit on his own in front of others.

Once again I am getting the firm message from around here not only that my family is scrounging and entitled because we rely in benefits, but also that we should further the social isolation that we face as a family with disabilities so as not to 'spoil' an expensive treat... Which actually we've paid for too.

Just how much can the panto experience be spoiled by a bit of noise and flapping anyway?

Some people just don't get that some of this behaviour is an unavoidable manifestation of disability. Our kids don't choose to do this.

Sorry was forgetting... They're not actually human like your little darlings are they? Why the fuck should they be allowed a CHILDHOOD, the disgusting creatures?