To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

Honey - you are missing the point, it boils down to SN children and adults having an equal right, not more right.

This whole thread is distressing to parents with SN children. For me, it demonstrates the lack of understanding existing amongst the public today. When we go out I try to zone out other people's opinions and ignorance but to see it written down and defended is so sad.

Honey please don't comment on things you know nothing about. You clearly do not know much about ASD. A child jumping up and down and flapping are symptoms of the condition. This child didn't need to be disciplined, just needed to be understood by the op and others around him. Try and have some compassion.

There are some selfish attitudes on this thread. I have just asked a friend of mine who has tourettes, he makes repeated noises ( doesn't swear, not all do) and his body jerks. He is not particularly loud but his movements are very noticeable. He said that as an adult he wouldn't go to a packed out pantomime as it would be uncomfortable for him and unfair on others.

For all the people who say it shouldn't matter how much disruption there is: would adults with disabilities be as well tolerated as well?

-the second as well !

Read Festive Elements' post. She does have a child with ASD. Read what she wrote. For the last time, this is not a discussion about disability in general. It was about whether we think The OP was justified in feeling pissed off. I maintained she was - at the PARENTS of this kid, in this situation. I am not going to be draw into a discussion about disability. I am entitled to my opinion as are you, but please don't personally attack me just because I refuse to agree with you, or call me unkind, just for stating my opinion. That's all I'm gonna say on this.

This thread seems to have taken a wrong turn and ended up in the 1970s. Disabled children are actually just naughty.

Parents of children with SN take note. If your child displays symptoms of disability in public then all you need to do is stop him from doing it.

Simples.

Allegedly.

Honey - you are missing the point, it boils down to SN children and adults having an equal right, not more right.
Both parties have rights. The adult/ child who want to watch without distraction and the SN child who goes with his/her family.

Is there a balance to be found between wanting to not have a performance disturbed, and not discriminating against someone whos behaviours (part of their disability) might disturb others? I don't know the answer to that, it's not an easy situation. I'd hate to make another parent feel that I think their child is a nuisance purely because they do things that my child doesn't, but I do kind of see the frustration of the OP. But it seema like removing the child ia punishing them for their disability, which isn't fair. I have to say this has made me think quite a bit - about why we expect people to modify their behaviours (which are perfectly normal for them) to ones others might find more palatable.

Okay. Straight question here.

If a child absolutely cannot modify their SN-related behaviour and that behaviour is disruptive to those around them, and that child will always display those behaviours in any public setting, ie theatre, pantomime, theme park, supermarket, sports activities, soft play, parties, all the things that NT children get to do, and you think that other people have an absolute right not to be disrupted by this behaviour, what do you actually propose?

Are people actually willing to come right out and say "If your child is disruptive because of his disablity then he should never be taken to any of these activities"?

zzzz My friend is here now and FYI is laughing his head of at your stupid reply. We talk to each other and guess what? That includes talking about how his disibility affects him and others Yes, others!!!

zzzz You were expecting my pooor disabled friend to be offended, upset, cast out - weren't you? Interesting thought this but disabled people hate being patronised.