To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

If a child due to disability is unable to modify their behavior, what you are suggesting is that their parent remove them so as not to subject the public to said behavior.

That is wrong.

If only all people could experience that moment that SN parents have when the realisation hits them that their child has a disability and that utterly utterly, god awful, gut wrenching feeling of their world crashing down around them. For just one day. And then back to their old life. I doubt threads like this would exist.

Maybe those who disapprove of the rights of children with disabilities to experience activities should think about how things can change quickly. They could find themselves with a child they can't 'control' because of their disability. My niece was 5 when she developed a severe limp and DSis took her to A & E. Within hours she had had major brain surgery that left her developmentally delayed. When she shouts out or wets herself in public, she can't help it - her brain is squashed in half of her head and the rest of her skull is full of scar tissue and fluid.

Compassion. Find some.

I remove ds1 from situations if he is upset/going to damage himself

I do not remove him from situations for being excited (which it sounds as if this boy was). If someone asked me to move to a different seat I would; gladly. If they asked me to leave I would be horrified.

If ds1 touches someones property I apologise. If he just looks at it I do not.

if they wwere able to control it, it wouldnt be a disability

But it is possible to take steps to help manage it.

Personally i think the panto is a good place for kids to be noisy and jump around and would have no objection to the boy in the OP.

My objection is to the i can't and i won't moderate my childs natural behavior.

Just because it is a disability it does not absolve the parent of the responsibility to show children what is reasonable and at least attempting.

Glitterknickaz oh yes
kids staring
strangely I am always told that nt kids are staring as it is "normal"
!±!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's not ridiculous though Starfish. Doris gave a perfect example of what I mean on the last page.

For some children who have autism, it is distressing for them to see and hear behaviours that they cannot learn to understand and tolerate. Some children with ASD are disabled precisely because they can't show tolerance, understanding and kindness.

It may not be some people's reality of autism, but it is the reality for many people who have autism in their lives.

Well my local panto had a special "tolerant" performance. It included higher general light levels, less loud noises etc. as well as a good warning that behaviour might not be perfect.

However I do expect more noise and movement at a Panto than other theatre.

yohohoho
you seem to be missing the whole point of this......
why?

Well if people want to engage in loud, publically wankerish behaviour at least we'll know who the wankers are!

yohoho

you have taken exception to what I have said.

Let me clarify, I would not let my child do something that will hurt someone or damage property.

But hand flapping, whooping, tics and noises.

No I wont modify it, even of some people find it embarrassing.

Oh, and the child isn't SN. They might HAVE SN.

well if it is my child who has sn......
go on make my fucking day

I'm with the people who think this needs give and take on both sides.

I would hate to think we were not supportive of a child/family with some of the issues mentioned on this thread but we, some years ago, had saved up for our family to see "Stomp" and a man with disabilities who was sat behind us shouted and banged the seats throughout. We did not tut or complain but it did affect the whole family's enjoyment of a rare, and much looked forward to, night out.

Well Beanie, I'd much rather you were nowhere near us with your intolerance - I wouldn't like to have my experience spoilt by something you can control.

Beanie - I hope you do get to do this and I hope you get a MaitreD with a disabled child who asks you to leave the restaurant. It is people like you who spoil our lives

And once again have reported the disablist post.

Would those engaging in blatant disablism stand in the high street shouting n*** at black people?

If not, why is it you find disablist language acceptable?

If you're going to be a bigot you might as well go the whole hog.

Beanie...reported.

HOLD ON

I have just been called a disablist by MUMSNET!!

I have and will continue to remove my child with ASD from situations should his behaviour become such that I believe that him and the other people around him will be better off.

THAT little bit of advice comes from the PROFESSIONALS involved with my son yet according to MUMSNET I am a disablist

I would like an explanation Mumsnet... do you suggest I keep my son there until he loses his dignity and / or hurts someone?

[Angry]