To Be Annoyed about this (Poss SN) Childs Behaviour

[fantasticfanjo]

Ok so we went to The Panto last night which wasn't a cheap night out with the tickets costing £100 + for 4 of us.

We were sat 4 seats in with a family of 4 occupying the end 4.

The Father of other the family preceded to lift his DS aged about 10/11 over the seats (spare) to the row in front so he could get a better view and was now sat directly in front of my DP.

This child then spent the entire performance jumping up and down on the seat in front,shouting loudly for sweets,flapping arms,banding his head with his shoes which he'd taken off and generally distracting everyone around him. To give the father credit he did repeatedly tell the child to shut up /sit down and threaten him etc.

Although My experience of ASD is quite limited, I'm assuming the boy was on the Autistic spectrum and although the panto is a family performance and I expect to be disturbed by kids needing a wee,rustling sweets etc AIBU to be pissed off with our evening be ruined especially seeing the boy could have been seated on the end of the aisle where he would have disturbed others less ?

Oh festive it's not that hard.

Plenty of people manage to be perfectly pleasant to ds1 when he is being at his most severely autistic and challenging, and loud.

A significant minority are lemon sucking fuckwits. I'm afraid I've stopped caring much about them.

comments

(although note we don't go to pizza hut, or the cinema or the theatre - I don't have much patience to people lemon sucking in frigging McDonalds.

So can I say I get annoyed being at events with overbearing, precocious NT brats with their loud parents then?

To answer your question festive I would hope that everybody in the auditorium would look out for the needs of others and do their best, within their own abilities and limitations, to ensure the comfort of others, as well as themselves.

And how would that actually work in reality when one child with ASD is upsetting another child with ASD? When two children are both severely limited in how they can behave, or in how they react to someone else's behaviour?

When the only solution is that one child be moved, which child should it be?

We are a family affected by severe autism. We Make so many compromises because of our ds that we actually hardly go out. Today was the first time he went out since December 21st. If I thought he would enjoy the panto I doubt I would have the gall to take him

I feel that society has totally rejected my ds he just does not fit in to anything

Fck how would the audience cope if my ds had a noisy prolonged siezure during cinderellas nail biting slipper scene..maybe we'd be asked to leave. Pesky disabilities. Don't you get it..if they wwere able to control it, it wouldnt be a disability

What you usually find in that situation is that the parents are tolerant and juggle around to find a solution. Stop inventing things which haven't happened.

I haven't ever had a problem with other parents in that situation (even when our kids are setting each other off) because we all the know the score. Having, like, daily experience of it.

Don't you get it..if they were able to control it, it wouldnt be a disability

THIS!

Not at all startail Just that parents should not allow them to prevent the enjoyment of others. And that is the case with all children. Again, I see no need to include the word disabled here. I take my NT children to the theatre and, if they ever pose a problem for another paying member of the public, I take them out until they have calmed down. I would expect any parent of any child to do the same.

So you are actually saying then, insomniac and festive that you don't think disabled children should be taken to expensive, one off events.

Glad we're clear. Thread reported.

Sigh.

Massive overreaction you have going on there.

No, that's not what I said and you know it. Feel free to report any of my posts, I'm giving my opinion, that is all. There is more than one side to this, and I'm speaking as the parent of a child who has ASD!

eggandcress I actually feel really sad that you feel like that. But I can understand it. We are forever making apologies/excuses for my nephews random behaviour, and tbh it pisses me right off. He has as much right to this world as the next person. The fact that he has 'dodgy wiring' shouldn't even come in to it

Well disability isn't going to go away any time soon, so from time to time we will all be inconvenienced by someone who can't behave in a perfect way for the situation.

We can feel sad and angry and irritated and hard-done-by about it and let it be a shitty experience with no positives.

Or we could think "Well at least that child had a nice outing" and maybe feel a bit better about it.

Once again, we'd like to draw your attention to the fact that while we're happy to accept that the OP has limited knowledge of SN behaviours (if indeed the child she's describing did have SN), we would regard any post that states or suggests that a disabled child should be removed from a theatre (or any place for that matter) as disablist - and we would delete it.

Glitterknickaz Fri 28-Dec-12 22:36:03
So can I say I get annoyed being at events with overbearing, precocious NT brats with their loud parents then?
wow mate was just going to post along those lines.

Have posted Beanie's most recent disablist post. Plus will a reiterate the comment re if they had control over their actions they wouldn't have a disability.

of course you can glitter - I imagine that is a far more common annoyance than a child with SN disrupting a performance. I've experienced disruption from NT children, never from an SN child. A child is a child - they all need moderating or removing on occasion.

Er I think the conclusion in the car case was that it was unlikely the child had damaged a car. The argument was around whether the mother should have stopped to discuss the situation with the OP (if she'd actually heard her) and the ridiculousness of suggesting she should have been sorting him out and making him walk properly. :rolls eyes:

Without knowing each individual and being in the exact situation, Festive, I can't answer your question appropriately. I think you know that.

First you give a massive over reaction, and then you give a massive cop out!

I'm sure if you thought about it a little bit you could imagine a variety of scenarios where this could be a problem and give possible suggestions as to what you might think is the best course of action.

Of course, you are free to choose not to if you want, I just think it makes you quite hypocritical.

I feel we should support the parents of the child they were trying to make his life more interesting and fun. They had not given up trying to fit in and were trying to rise above all the people who are so intolerant

Actually I particularly loathe the delightful little shits who sit there pointing and laughing at my kids whilst aping their Stimson/hand flapping.

Whilst the indulgent asshat parents smile on and ignore what their little darlings are doing.

And don't say that doesn't happen. It does.