AIBU to dislike a child of 6?

[Boomerwang]

I'm battling with myself here because I don't like my niece but I feel weird about it, like she's too young to be disliked by an adult. Do you understand what I mean? Or am I being really unreasonable?

I often think to myself that I wouldn't let my own child do the things my niece does, but it's starting to happen. I don't mean that my niece is influencing my child (who is only 9 months) but that I'm seeing changes I don't like which are similar to what my niece does and I'm wondering if I'm being reasonable to attempt to stop them or if it's too early, as indicated by my niece's behaviour?

As for disliking my niece, I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's just the things she does, which is normal boundary pushing behaviour which she's generally allowed to get away with. So maybe it's not her I dislike, but what I see her do as the result of bad parenting?

Am I odd?

Yes.

dh's family disliked ds1 intensely. I stopped meeting up with them.

post back when your dd is 5yo, will you? it's very easy to find an older child a bit brattish when your own (only?) is/are so so young.

:(

I couldn't stand my cousin's child when she was around six. She was rude, contrary, spoilt and very dislikeable. She was home this Christmas (lives abroad) and is sixteen. She is an absolutely lovely teenager - smiley,polite, friendly and unassuming. It is hard to reconcile her with her six year old self.

Sorry, not really relevant to the thread, but I wouldn't feel guilty. You cannot like every child you are related to.

Doesn't OP also mean Online Poster?

So the crux of it is that I'm not being unreasonable to dislike her at the moment, is it? I'm not letting it change the way I should behave towards her, I still include her in everything although that's mostly because she makes sure she does. I would feel rotten if I pushed her out.

We see her frequently as she lives directly opposite our house, and the same distance to my boyfriend's parents where we often all meet up and have dinner.

Actually there's loads more detail about my niece's family but I've already overstepped the mark by mentioning her SN without consent and I'd be drip feeding anyway. It's probably not relevant to this topic either.

I guess the upshot is that regardless of my feelings towards this child, I should keep them to myself and concentrate on my own daughter. Also that my daughter is too young to admonish. I'm worried that if I let her hit me for ages and then suddenly decide it should stop that she'll get confused and angry.

Thank you all for your help with this tricky and awkwardly presented subject, I really appreciate your responses.

Parent as you go along.
If you dont stop something now that you thinks needs stopping, but do it later on, your DD will get confused.

YABU to dislike a child of 6 with SN in at least one opinion here.

A lot of children with SN show less than desirable behaviour but surely it's just decency to attempt to be understanding of the behaviour and not dislike the child?

Or should I just dislike all the kids at my DD's school because they don't behave like perfect NT angels?

Not unreasonable.

That said, as she is young, you would be unreasonable if you weren't ready to let bygones be bygones and start liking her at some point. She might well grow up to be very nice.

So YANBU to dislike the way she is as the moment but YWouldBU to write her off completely.

Well, I do think it's hard to like other people's children sometimes. 6 is a tricky age, when they are pushing boundaries and can be obnoxious without having the social awareness yet to realise it. I find my own nearly 5 yo hard enough!

I don't think your 9 mo will be influenced by your niece. If she's displaying behaviour you don't like then you need to deal with it. It's hard to see how your little baby will eventually grow up and behave badly too, but believe me she will! It's just part of growing up I'm afraid.

I don't like my best friend's 6 year old DD, never let her know it though. I like her younger DS though, he is a nice boy.
YANBU.

WRT to your DD hitting, if it's deliberate then don't let it happen. Hold her hand away, say "no" firmly and then distract. Don't get angry, but don't let her continue either. Obviously if it's just excited flailing where she happens to slap you then ignore it. Deliberate hitting becomes a habit pretty fast and even though she's young she needs to get the feedback that you're not going to tolerate it right from the start. Hair pulling is a bit different, they usually do it unintentionally at that age. It's likely she'll keep hitting for a while but you need to give the consistent message that it's never acceptable.

She isn't 6 though in real terms, she has a brain at a 4 year old level

Children can be very dislikeable. Usually it's one or more of the parents' traits.
I don't believe it's necessarily to do with the way they are brought up, I think children either inherit or absorb the personal traits that shitty people have.

To all of you who say she "may grow up to be likeable"..yes, she may.but with a 2 year delay at 6 she'may well grow up to be an adult with SN, I do hope you will like her andbe understanding then too.

What can you do as a lovely aunty to influence her in a positive way? Then instead of 'bad' coming in your direction you are sending 'good' in her direction.

I really hope people showing no regard for the SN and blaming the parents for their parenting or even they themselves having'shitty traits' are only reading the OP.

Probably not though.

Will hide this thread..people's attitudes to kids with SN on MN make me feel I'll sometimes.

Grrr...*ILL

My ASD dd who is nearly 6 has a 2-3 year dev delay

I have got every right to dislike my friends ds who tells her he hates her and calls her baby as she still likes in the night garden. If we bump into friend the the street shouts I hate you I hate you

After the extra information about the child that the op provided she is wrong to dislike this particular child, it sounds as though she has sn

Piglet, your DD sounds like a lovely wee girl:)

Now I should actually hide thread, but wanted to say that