To think adults who can't drive are a nuisance

[Atthewelles]

Barring situations where an illness or financial circumstances proscribe it aibu to think adults who can't drive are a PITA. People have to constantly go out of their way to collect/drop them off places; arrange plans around the times that suit the non-driver who can't travel solo but has to tag along with you; always be the designated driver who can't have a drink while the non driver happily slurps a third glass of wine etc etc etc

Yes, I have been spending too much time with a non driving sibling over the family Christmas but AIBU to think that a perfectly functioning adult (who is extremely technically minded) in full time paid employment, should bloody well learn to drive.

I might start a thread on the useless lumps of lards in their cars who toot their horn at me when I'm crossing the road in the right place at the right time.

Well, my 102 grandmother apparently would be happy to jump on a taxi and return to her (rather cold and uncomfortable) house, instead of staying with my parents.
If she can figure it out, so most non-drivers.

Yes, using a taxi can be expensive for longer distances, but factoring in for the costs of running a car (tax, service, petrol, cleaning, parking, depreciation, etc), it can be a lot cheaper per year.

Owl, I know what you mean. Ex once forgot his driving licence when we went on holiday. We had rented a car and had gone quite far away from the airport. I got food poisoning half way through and my dad ended up driving us to the airport, about 300 miles away. He and my mum returned by train.

My mum is one of those who has a valid driving licence but hasn't driven for ages, at least 35 years. Apparently because she's not very good and my dad was a very annoying back seat driver. True that he is, but I managed to get past it when I started driving at 18. It can be annoying because my dad is getting older and she needs to be ferried around, when she could easily just grab the car and go wherever she wants. I wonder if it's about control, as this way she always needs to have company instead of going about herself.
A friend of mine is going the same way, although she does get around a lot in public transport and taxis.

Lots of people I know don't have cars. I don't think they are PITA - I think they are hard up and they don't try and get lifts from us. So I offer anyway.

On the other hand, P took a 40 min round trip the other day just to take me home, instead of letting me go by public transport.
But that was for his benefit, of course. More time in my company.

as a driver, I think you are bu.

Cor OP not surprised you have had a big response to your post YABVVVU
Unreasonable to expect everyone to even want to drive. Life is perfectly manageable without a car. If you don't want to offer lifts then don't. If you do then don't moan about it. I find some car drivers quite arrogant about the fact that they drive and I choose not to. What makes you better than me? Get out of your car and go for a walk to relax!!

If every adult in the U.K drove a car the entire country would be in constant gridlock 24/7, it is bad enough already.

It does annoy me when non-drivers sometimes imagine that my owning a car is a bit like having access to some sort of tardis-like, time-travelling matter transporter. The most recent one was someone 200 miles away who wanted to give me their old chest freezer and was most put out when I explained that it wouldn't fit in my hatchback.

Or sometimes one of them will offer to take my kids to an event in their home town that starts at 7pm on a Friday, but I finish work at 5pm 40 miles from home, and then need to travel 25 miles from home to their house... stressful...

I know that sounds mean but there are a lot of adult non-drivers in my family and it is hard (and expensive) work being one of the few with wheels.

YABU some people for whatever reason do not have the capacity to drive. For some people it causes debilitating anxiety. It's more frustrating for them than it is for you. In the same way some people can't do maths, can't swim, can't play tennis. You must be incredibly adept at everything to be able to pass judgment like this.

They could of course, attempt to drive, and put other people's lives at risk - but most of us in this position choose not to. Neither do we ask for lifts, or expect them. We use public transport and walk a lot. That suits us just fine.

Any room for accepting differences in your life? No I thought not.

OP needs to tell the non-drive she can't be arsed to ferry him/her about. It's the OP who is in the wrong, not the non-driver.

I don't drive. I panic everytime I get behind the wheel of a car. However my NY resolution is to get over myself and bloody learn!!
Until then however I will carry on doing what I've been doing up to now, namely using public transport and walking, and not being a nuisance as I hardly ever accept lifts anywhere.
YABU.

Scone- not all non- drivers see cars the way you describe, how patronising of you. I think it's quite the opposite SOME car drivers are rude, arrogant and wasteful not to mention lazy when it comes to getting from A to B. just because you drive it certainly doesn't automatically elevate you to a higher being, anything but actually.

I can't pass a test. The theory is easy and I have always got full marks (needed to do it twice as it expired, second one is now expired too). But the practical is just awful and even if I do an OK lesson before, I fluff the test. I concluded that it is just a hideous waste of money and with things being quite tight at the moment we can't justify paying out more money for more lessons and then another test which I will likely fail. Even if I got a licence we can't afford a second car so we manage with one (DH drives). It is inconvenient at times but usually we go places as a family so not as bed as if I was single I guess. I use buses, taxi's etc when alone and walk to work. DS1 (age 14) walks to school as it is 5 minutes away. It's good for him. I guess maybe people judge me for not driving but I have tried and just can't do it.

**not as bad!

ChoccoPuddo - there are "sometimes" in my posts, it wasn't blanket.

I didn't drive until I was 28 due to severe driving anxiety and skintness so I know the issues well. I think you owe me an apology.

I don't drive, I don't want to drive. I tried, it is not a skill I am good at, no amount of practicing was improving things and quite frankly the world is a safer place without another shit driver on the road.

I am more than capable of getting buses (a whole £11.50 per week to get anywhere I want to), I like getting trains, I take a book with me if I am going to arrive somewhere early or take a taxi. I actually turn down more lifts than I accept because I am, you know, a grown up who is capable of getting where I want to go.

Quite frankly OP I think you sound like the one with a problem, if you don't want to give people lifts, then don't just don't generalise and be an arsehole to the millions of us who are actually able to behave like grownups.

Oh and I pay for taxis for friends when it is my turn to be 'designated driver', I am fantastic in a crisis. I can make calls and arrangements whilst waiting for taxi, on a train etc.

It's a PITA. I really resent having to ferry round people for family events, because they 'don't like driving'. No shit? Cos I love getting up three hours earlier to pick you up on the way to a funeral and then drop you back off again!

I rather look down on people who won't use public transport. (Again, exemptions for those with mobility problems/other health problems/several small DC). People who go oo, eek, waa, couldn't possibly get on a night bus! So they won't come out to play because of parking issues...

We can only afford one car. DH is an excellent driver. I hated driving and failled my test twice. I would be a danger on the roads. And we live in a place with excellent public transport. I don't ask for lifts from people and only accept lifts now and then even when offered. I like walking and can walk miles pushing a heavy toddler in buggy even though I am 38 weeks pregnant! Walking is good for you. YABVVVVU OP!!!

It took me 2 years and 6 attempts to pass my practical test, I was just so petrified on test days I could barely function. Got there in the end though but usually walk or use public transport unless driving is really needed.

Agree with solidgold about drivers who would never use public transport if its available. It's pathetic. The majority of my neighbours where I live drive 5-10 minutes to work rather than do a 20 minute walk. One neighbour (mid-30s in perfectly good health) refuses to go shopping in town because they charge for parking and she doesn't want to do the 10 minute walk. I don't get it - walking is free, good for the environment and good for your health.

As others have said, if every person had a car the roads would never move. And parking is bad enough as it is.

I will say that it is helpful having a DH who drives though! DrCoconut totally empathise - I am exactly the same, just fluff the test - not worth the money spent on lessons.

Buses? Wait, an actual bus? With other people? Goodness, no.

^ That is the attitude of too many people.

I agree cinnamonnut

I love buses and chatting to random people on them.