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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Well my DH hasn't lifted a finger

86 replies

Lynned · 26/12/2012 13:26

But he lifted his feet so I could vacuum under them. Still have a pile of presents to wrap (for his family on Saturday). Made a lasagne ( admittedly the meat sauce was from the freezer) and an ice cream bomb for dessert. Sorted two loads of washing... Need I go on? I could easily be the Asda mum!

OP posts:
WorraLorraTurkey · 26/12/2012 14:49

Maybe he ain't that bad!

Really?

Could you sit there watching someone else clean up after you, cook for you, wrap your family's presents etc without feeling guilty?

Sorry but I wouldn't put up with that from the kids, let alone an adult.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 26/12/2012 14:58

"He is now washing up, and hopefully I will get a cup of tea. Maybe he ain't that bad"

oh yes he's a reformed character Hmm

stop being so pathetically martyrish. they're dishes that he ate off. he is not superman for washing them, it is a logical consequence of eating, you clean up afterwards. and dont hope for a cup of tea. ask him to make you one. this really isn't rocket science.

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 26/12/2012 15:03

my 3 year old understand the logic behind bringing his washing down to the machine. how does he understand it? well because the natural consequence of not bringing your clothes to be washed is that they remain dirty. it took one experience of him not having any clean socks in his basket for him to grasp this concept. he is 3.

he doesn't wait for the clothes to walk themselves to the machine or his dishes to walk themselves to the sink, he clears his own plate and cutlery, he wipes the table, he helps wash the dishes and he stacks them in the drainer. he knows, at 3, that cooking and eating is followed by washing up after yourself.

ReindeerHooves · 26/12/2012 15:04

So he's washed up twice in two days? That's his contribution to running a family Christmas in the space of 48 hours?

You think he's doing OK because he might make you a cup of tea? How many cups have you made him?

He's an idle arse and you're enabling him. Talk to him, tell him it's not acceptable.

Original poster
Lynned · 26/12/2012 15:05

got tea without asking. really tempted to leave the presents unwrapped. funnily enough this thread has made me feel more annoyed with him than before..

OP posts:
ilovemyteddy · 26/12/2012 15:13

DH and I both work full time and share all the Christmas tasks. As I work in retail, and usually only have Christmas Day off, he always cooks Christmas dinner, and me and the DCs clear up. Men are not genetically programmed to do f*ck all at Christmas, or any other day of the year. Lazy sods are, though.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 26/12/2012 15:23

Just tell him where the paper, scissors and Sellotape are (because I very much doubt he knows) and leave him to it. If he doesn't wrap them they don't get wrapped.

BoneyBackJefferson · 26/12/2012 15:25

LynnedWed 26-Dec-12 13:39:28

Their trouble is they don't think the same way as us.

Who the fuck are they?

kim147 · 26/12/2012 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 26/12/2012 15:33

DON'T WRAP THE PRESENTS

pumpkinsweetieMasPudding · 26/12/2012 15:37

Agree with pp, don't wrap the presents!

Original poster
Lynned · 26/12/2012 15:44

ok. i am not going to wrap the presents and will post the outcome.

OP posts:
kim147 · 26/12/2012 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dreamingbohemian · 26/12/2012 15:52

Good for you OP

Now put your feet up and relax a bit Smile

Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 15:55

Agree with Robotlover.Get on with it I say or leave him.

Doobydoo · 26/12/2012 15:55

Depressing...

clam · 26/12/2012 16:08

No, I think you should at least tell him that they haven't been wrapped and that you're not intending to do them and he needs to. Otherwise you'll weaken your position in the row later on, as he will argue that he assumed you were going to do them because "you always do." If it's a change from the status quo, then it's only fair to give him a heads' up.

PenguinBear · 26/12/2012 17:01

My DP is exactly the same. I don't even bother asking anymore, its not worth the row!

JustFabulous · 26/12/2012 17:33

PenguinBear, then you'll be running around after him for the rest of your life.

DH has brought me some Xmas pud (I asked) and a glass of wine (not asked). He has fed all the animals and the kids. He won't even bat an eyelid if I stay sat here all night and will sort our tea and any drinks/snacks we want later. He took the recycling this morning just because it needed doing.

He can do all this, despite having a penis, because he is a grown up and a decent person.

clam · 26/12/2012 21:57

So, win win to Mr Penguin!

Scuttlebutter · 26/12/2012 23:17

Another one here with a decent H, and who hates this "all men are incompetent" bollocks. DH always cooks Christmas dinner and does a beautiful job. Today he has sorted out the turkey and will be making stock with the bones. He has also made a pie filling for tomorrow's lunch. He made an amazing meal on Christmas Eve, and decanted all the damson gin. He does this because he enjoys cooking and more importantly he pulls his weight. He loves me and shows this every single day by treating me with respect and kindness. I always appreciate what he does and he always appreciates what I do. As a married couple we are a partnership of equals, not an arsehole and a martyr.

dwagdays · 26/12/2012 23:24

They and us. Rwsll

bringbacksideburns · 26/12/2012 23:26

I get what you mean Scuttle but that came across as smug. Especially the bit about decanting the Gin. Good for you.

My Dh isn't an arsehole and pulls his weight with the cleaning. He hates a mess. But i've never seen him making stock and i'm not going to weep about it.

Don't wrap the presents OP for god's sake.

dwagdays · 26/12/2012 23:32

God the dangers of drinking. Really there is no them and us. Cups of tea can't replace thought and effort.

My dh bought all presents and wrapped them too, I just got few little bits for my folks. He bought me lovely stuff. We share doing children, pets and teas.

His dad is an arse who sits there whilst his women folk bring him nibbles and take orders. Recently dh cooked something his dad liked, mik wife asked me for the recipe!

dwagdays · 26/12/2012 23:35

I would be smug if either of us decanted our damson gin:) and even drunker