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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On call

124 replies

BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 20:22

AIBU To refuse to go on the "on call" rota if/when I return to work?

On call would be once a week and one wknd in 4 from Friday 5.30pm to Monday 9am.

If I get a call out, I have to travel 30 miles to the lab, pack up lifesaving blood products, wait for a courier to collect them and then drive 30 miles home. All for £30 a call out.

I did it previously and was happy to be on call until I was 34 weeks pregnant with dc3.

I'm due to return to work end of January. DS is still EBF (and weaning) but I breastfeed him minimum of 4 times in 24 hours.

DH is a self employed plumber and is on call for plumbing emergencies 24/7.
He is also main breadwinner.

The likelihood of us both being called out at the same time is very slim, I realise that, but my DCs come first and in the event that we did both get called out in the middle of the night or otherwise, I wouldn't be happy having to drag them on a 60 mile round trip. There's no way they could go with DH either.

I happened to mention this to a colleague today at a mutual friends birthday party, and she just looked daggers at me Hmm

It's a massive bone of contention with her anyway as she is the person who gets called when anything goes wrong, but AIBU to refuse to do this?

OP posts:
tiggytape · 22/12/2012 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:18

We said we would cross that bridge when we got to it Festive and this is me crossing that bridge.

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:18

Odd because he's committed himself to being on call 24/7 when it's not possible.

helenlynn · 22/12/2012 23:19

scottishmummy, no, I didn't mean that parents are necessarily distracted at work! At some point the OP said that if she were required to go in and her husband were already on a call-out, she'd have to take her children with her, and briefly talked about the silly logistics of this. Knowing your young children were in some other room unsupervised while you packed up clinically critical stuff would be pretty distracting, I reckon.

dayshiftdoris · 22/12/2012 23:19

I left a job as I couldnt do on-calls and the only option was for colleagues to pick up my share...
If you are contracted and can't fulfill the obligations of your contract then it is your only option other than a flexible working agreement but then you work colleagues may well be arsey at picking up your on-calls.

Now I couldnt do on-calls because I am a single parent (no contact from son's dad) and absolutely no option for childcare out of normal working hours but I am sorry you do have options as there is a second adult in the house.

starfishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:22

As a parent you have the right to ask for a reduced hours working pattern and.although this is not quite the same, you could ask. However your employer can say "no" and you need to consider what you want to do if that happens.

scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:22

no.it's wide of mark.parents compartmentalize and can work undistracted
plenty other parents do skilled work with small children.you're being preposterous
your posts do read as you've decided want to be housewife and see opportunity

TheSecondComing · 22/12/2012 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:24

But it has been possible for last 12 months - I've been here, on mat leave so therefore totally possible.

DH has pulled out all the stops to build a successful, viable business in a very short space of time.

This is where we now need to decide what happens next. I get iABU to refuse to do on call, but I shall ask about flexible working with HR dept before I return.

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:26

Yes but you're on leave from a job. A job that you're already committed to being on call on. Surely that should have been considered?

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:28

Of course I can work undistracted ScottishMummy and it is a skilled job, involving lots of cross matching and aliquots and centrifuges etc.

I said I would be distracted by leaving my children unsupervised in a lab while I packed/matched blood products.

OP posts:
FestiveElement · 22/12/2012 23:28

Fair enough Babylon, that's probably what I'd have done too. Xmas Smile

FWIW, I think you should give up work. It sounds like it would be the best thing all round, for lots of reasons, but you don't have to feel guilty about that. Sorry if I'm way off the mark, but you come across as if you're looking for excuses to give up work. Especially when you ask if its unreasonable to do something completely unreasonable to your colleagues! Do you want to give up?

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:29

It has been considered, and we did talk about it when DH first started up, but tbh I think it has crept up on us a little bit and. Now we need to act rather than talk about it!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:30

why don't you ask for shifts fixed and projected in advance,notify dh the dates
when you know your on-call get a sleepover baby sitter or dh covers
tbh he will need backup plumber for days cant work,family days,social do etc

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:31

I don't want to give up work no, which is why if I leave, I will go back and volunteer for them at my convenience.

OP posts:
MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:31

Being a sole trader on call 24/7 is not sustainable.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:32

That's not a bad idea scottishmummy re fixed shifts.

It will be part of what I discuss with HR.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:32

you don't need to traipse young children to a lab,you or dh make-arrangements
if business prosperous then you pay a babysitter,you'll know your on call dates
sorry but it's hyperbole to say you've no choice other than kids accompany you

helenlynn · 22/12/2012 23:33

She isn't committed to it any further ahead than her notice period, though, MrsKeith - it looks to me as though they've just been keeping their options open as long as possible, which seems wise enough with a new business.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:36

It's not sustainable long term no, I completely agree.

DH knows this and is looking at his options too. Loathed to employ someone else this early on, as we don't want to get stuck paying wages if there's not enough work for two.
It's ok buddying with another plumber, but it's DHs business reputation at stake if something goes wrong.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:36

if you take kids to work likely youll face some reprimand.it's not on
it's great dh business off to flyer,long term he needs back up
there will be times he can't do,or big workload.he needs a colleague

MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:38

He can recruit subcontractors via an agency.

scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 23:40

he can employ on zero hours contract as and when needed

MrsKeithRichards · 22/12/2012 23:41

A subby who could take on the no call part of the weekend for a flat fee plus hours for call outs to make safe for your dh to finish off.

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 23:50

So Scottishmummy just for example:

I'm on call tomorrow night from 6pm. DH won't be home until maybe 8.30pm, by the time he's finished at his job and been to builders/plumbers merchants to get materials for the following day.

I've got a babysitter, who is happy to stay until DH gets home. No problem, but babysitter has to go home as nowhere to put them up for the night other than kip on the sofa.

No call outs so far, all good and we go to bed.

Ok, DHs phone goes at 2am, it's local council to say such and such school has a burst pipe which has triggered alarm, can DH meet their on call caretaker and do what he can? DH has left house by 2.15 latest.

My phone then goes at 2.45am - I need to be in the lab inside of an hour to meet a courier and give them the packed blood products to transport.
By the time I've got 3 DCs into coats and shoes etc and got them in the car, I'm already 20 minutes into my hour and I've still got a 30 mile drive remember?

This is where I then have to leave them unsupervised either in the car (no way) or in the lab.

WWYD?

OP posts: