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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On call

124 replies

BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 20:22

AIBU To refuse to go on the "on call" rota if/when I return to work?

On call would be once a week and one wknd in 4 from Friday 5.30pm to Monday 9am.

If I get a call out, I have to travel 30 miles to the lab, pack up lifesaving blood products, wait for a courier to collect them and then drive 30 miles home. All for £30 a call out.

I did it previously and was happy to be on call until I was 34 weeks pregnant with dc3.

I'm due to return to work end of January. DS is still EBF (and weaning) but I breastfeed him minimum of 4 times in 24 hours.

DH is a self employed plumber and is on call for plumbing emergencies 24/7.
He is also main breadwinner.

The likelihood of us both being called out at the same time is very slim, I realise that, but my DCs come first and in the event that we did both get called out in the middle of the night or otherwise, I wouldn't be happy having to drag them on a 60 mile round trip. There's no way they could go with DH either.

I happened to mention this to a colleague today at a mutual friends birthday party, and she just looked daggers at me Hmm

It's a massive bone of contention with her anyway as she is the person who gets called when anything goes wrong, but AIBU to refuse to do this?

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 22/12/2012 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasENormaSnob · 22/12/2012 20:56

But you are putting on colleagues. Presuming its them that have to cover you.

Whilst I would happily cover for a heavily pregnant colleague I would not expect to have to do this after she returned from mat leave.

vjg13 · 22/12/2012 20:57

Is there anyone training or not currently on the rota that would take your place? Is there any compromise that you would consider, eg cover one night a fortnight etc. IMHO it is always better to have some form of solution ready when you start this type of discussion.

Takver · 22/12/2012 20:57

Alternatively, maybe the answer is that at nighttime on the days you're on call, your DH isn't available to answer emergencies? Presumably he'll take holiday sometimes, so there must be an answer for those times. It seems unreasonable that he is never able to guarantee to be there for your dc - or at the least you have to accept that if he isn't then that will affect what work you can do.

Sirzy · 22/12/2012 20:58

Sorry but you are being unfair on your other colleagues. If you can't fulfil your contract then you need to find employment which suits you.

If they let you not do the bits you don't want to because you have children then when another member of staff has children they will start refusing to do things, then someone else will have elderly parents to care for and be unable to do a certain part of their contract and so on and so on.

Whoknowswhocares · 22/12/2012 20:59

What a selfish attitude!

If you decide to return and the management are daft enough to agree to your unreasonable demands, then you can expect a damn sight more than a few daggers looks.

You're colleagues will detest you.

TheSecondComing · 22/12/2012 21:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DontmindifIdo · 22/12/2012 21:02

I think you need to talk to HR about negotiating this as part of 'flexible working' - however, while you might find you aren't paid for it as such, in order to agree to your contact to be changed to take this responsibility off, you might need to be prepared to take a pay cut. You might find when they calculate your package it includes a general 'on call' fee which you'll have to give up.

discuss it, see if it's an option.

If not, you might have to look with your DH at ways you sort your family, on those dates, could he avoid being 'on call'? It's going to be what, one weekend a month - could he arrange with another plumber to 'buddy' on those weekends so he can be at home? Really, does your DH never have a drink or have a night out/weekend away - he must not be on call 365 days a year, can you arrange some dates that he's not available for on-call?

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 21:04

I am thinking that maybe the job just doesn't fit in with us now - which is a shame as I really enjoy the job.

I don't mean to sound how I am obviously coming across. Of course I don't want to force more work upon my colleagues.

The lab is my usual place of work and is 30 miles from home. Moving closer isn't feasible really, we rent but have two DDs at school and are really settled here.

The chance of us both being called out at the same time is slim, but could happen. DH cannot take DCs with him due to health and safety, and there are not enough seats in his work van.
I could take DCs with me, except I couldn't supervise them and do the call out, so would be forced to leave them unsupervised in a lab, or worse, alone in the car which I would never do.

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 22/12/2012 21:07

Finding child care during unsociable hours is almost impossible if you don't have relatives close by, so YANBU, but at the same time it sounds as if it's one of those shifts no one wants to do because it's not really worth it to do...

Shame your employer can't be more flexible about figuring out another solution other than distributing your shifts to others which is bound to cause resentment.

PurpleTinsel · 22/12/2012 21:07

If being on call is in your contract, I don't see how you can refuse to do them if you want to continue having this employer.

NatashaBee · 22/12/2012 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 21:09

If your DH is self employed, couldn't he just refuse to take a call out if you are already gone? Or have to ask customers to wait until you get back and he can get to them?

What will he do if you are on a weekend away, or if you spend the night away from home for some reason? There are far better ways around this than expecting your colleagues to pick up where you can't be bothered.

Couldn't your DH strike up an arrangement with another local plumber so that they pass calls on to each other when one of them can't take a job?

DorsetKnobwithJingleBellsOn · 22/12/2012 21:09

It's in your contract that you have to do it, unless you can talk yourself out of it and get your contract changed then sorry that is it.

tiredemma · 22/12/2012 21:12

I think that YABU.

its attitudes like yours that make it difficult for mothers to return to the working environment.

DontmindifIdo · 22/12/2012 21:12

Outraged - that's ok if it's that way round, the problem will be when he's accepted a call out and then then OP gets the call, she'll then be stuck, she can't refuse.

OP - you need to either negotiate a contract change with HR (accepting you probably will be expected to take a pay cut) or your DH refuses all out of hours work when you are on call.

Viviennemary · 22/12/2012 21:14

Well I can see both sides of this. Some firms have a more sympathetic attitude than others. But to be fair it isn't your company's fault that your DH has a job that is inflexible. And if you can't meet the criteria of your job any longer then you will have to either ask for a transfer to a different department or look for another job. If it was a short term thing for a few weeks or even a couple of months they might agree but if you are saying you should now be exempt from part of the job then YABU.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 21:15

He doesn't have to take call outs when OP is on call though, he could either refuse, or pass them on to another plumber who would do the same for him if he was unavailable. That's the beauty of being self employed!

Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 21:19

DH currently has not had an alcoholic drink since August when he had a night out, which he paid another plumber to be on call for him. Even last night, a rare opportunity for us to go out together without DCs and he chose to drive in case of a call out.

I'm sorry to those of you offended by my attitude, believe me I'd love to be able to return to my job and work as I did, but I'm trying to work it through in my own head and I have to put my DCs first don't I?

DH is as flummoxed as me about this, we'd like to find a solution that works for everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 21:22

He doesn't have to take call outs outraged but he's started a new business, he advertises a 24/7 callout service and everyone he turns down in an emergency is potentially losing him business in the future IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Original poster
BabylonElf · 22/12/2012 21:26

My other issue with the on call rota is that if I go back, I will only work 3 days per week maximum, yet they will include me in the rota and put me on call on non work days if that makes sense?

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 22/12/2012 21:27

well, you aren't going to just find a solution between yourselves, you need to talk to HR and see if a contract change is an option (just refusing to do bits of your contact is not an option) and/or see if that other plumber would be interested in a regular swap - you're DH will cover some of his out of hours for him if he'll cover the dates you're on call. Or your DH just says he's not available if someone calls up on your on-call dates (if he's self employed can't he just turn down work or is he self employed but working for an agency?)

DontmindifIdo · 22/12/2012 21:30

oh, x posted, ok, so you need to negotiate with HR that your 'on call' dates are also pro-rataed down along with your days working, so as you are only working 60% of the week, you are only on call for 60% of the number of nights as a full time staff member.

You'll have to look as a family, what's more profitable, your DH turning down work X number of nights a month, or you giving up work. If HR say no to a contract change. But ask first. (and work out what level of paycut would make it still worth it for you)

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 22/12/2012 21:30

When you decided to have dc3 and your DH decided to start up a business, did you think about this at all? What had you planned to do for childcare on the days that you work?

scottishmummy · 22/12/2012 21:31

if its part of your job you need good reason,and approval to opt out
but your opt out increases other colleague share of on call.can see they'll be aggrieved
this needs to be formally addressed as you're fundamentally changing part of your job

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