AIBU to feel like an utter numpty because when the ticket collection on the train asked

[apostrophethesnowman]

...me for my weekly ticket I went into my purse and handed him my debit card instead! He and his colleague (and half the carriage!) thought it was very funny.

They reckoned that I've perhaps been doing too much Christmas shopping so my hand was in auto pilot.

Oh well at least it kept my fellow-commuters entertained on a cold dark winter morning!

Haha!

I was queuing in a clothes shop today, waiting to pay for the jumper I was holding.

As I was stood there, I thought 'Oh I must change a £20 note so I can pop a tenner in two Christmas cards'.

When I got to the till, the lady said "That's £20 please".

I said, "Thanks, can I have it in two ten pound notes please?"

Cue silence and the poor woman looking like this >>

I am so glad it's not only my brain that's turned to mush!

The shops are manic at the moment - the poor sales assistants must think everyone's gone a bit mad.

I like it when they ask "And where are you going?". I am usually half asleep and reply "Erm, home, why?"

I'm forever mixing up my work pass and my Oyster card. Sometimes I stand there for minutes, uselessly swiping the wrong card.

We have a keypad lock on the door into work from the carpark. Yesterday morning I stood there pressing my car key fob repeatedly, wondering why I couldn't open the door. Then I tried with my house key. I eventually realised what I was doing only to find an audience of three amused workmates.

We all need a break, which I have as of this evening!

Bliss, no work until 3rd January.

Yesterday I was having a lovely cup of tea with my friends and elegantly pored myself another cup through the strainer. It would have worked a lot better if I had remembered to pick the strainer up off the table and put it over my cup first. In my defense I am on tramadol.

Not related to travel but I felt stupid when asked at a bar on holiday whether I wanted another Cuba Libre. " no thanks"' said I, " I'll just have a rum and coke thanks". Doh.

haha lost in wales that's something I would do too.

scurryfunge I had to google cuba libre.

On another note, someone once asked me if someone would be able to sing Acapella, to which I replied "hmm don't know that song, who was the original singer?" I'm not very musical, obviously.

I have several times attempted to zap my house door open with my car key

Today I got to my work car park to discover that my car was gone; the only car in the whole place was this random big van right where my car had been. My stomach just dropped as I realised that somehow my car had been stolen from the secure car park.

.... Until I realised that the big van was parked in front of my car, which was why I couldn't see it...........

I tried to call the lift in Next today with my work pass. numpty.

Does anyone else also dial "9" for an outside line when at home?

I've also had the 'my car has been stolen' moment. Only in my case I'd forgotten that 2 years ago I had got a new car. I was on the phone to my DP panicking about my missing blue punto when a colleague came into the carpark and helpfully pointed out that my car, a black panda, was right there.

I fear my colleagues must think I'm not safe to let out alone.

yes scurryfunge I dial 9 for an outside line, then wonder why the number "has not been recognised".

whathasthecatdonenow

These are making me giggle!

I have jumbled every sentence, misunderstood every conversation and generally been spectacularly thick the last three days.

No work until 7th Jan!

Thank goodness! Baby brain plus end of term melt down had almost killed me!

I always dial 9 for an outside line at home. I also answer the home phone with "X department, YoSaffBridge speaking..." And on a bad day I do try to swipe out of the front door.

I also have a bad habit of finishing sentences with 'Shhhhhhhhh' and referring to myself as Miss 'hasthecatdonenow' instead of 'what'.

I need a new job.

oh ffs I just realised that in my thread title I've put ticket collection instead of collector, which I suppose is quite ironic.

Another Oyster swipes instead of work pass here! It's a regular occurrence!

I drove home to the wrong house after we had moved.

I have tried to open the garden gate with my house keys.

I used to work in a shop years ago and get a bus home every night. Back in those days you'd shout next stop please on getting up to leave the bus and on more than one occasion I shouted can I help you...

I've handed over my library card a couple of times to pay for stuff.