AIBU to feel like an utter numpty because when the ticket collection on the train asked

[apostrophethesnowman]

...me for my weekly ticket I went into my purse and handed him my debit card instead! He and his colleague (and half the carriage!) thought it was very funny.

They reckoned that I've perhaps been doing too much Christmas shopping so my hand was in auto pilot.

Oh well at least it kept my fellow-commuters entertained on a cold dark winter morning!

I've done the genuflecting in the cinema! In my defence, I was only eight.

I phoned my brother on his mobile and he was in the car on the way home from work. He suddenly said "Shit, there's the police, must go" and put the phone down.

I pissed myself laughing - he doesn't drive and was only a passenger

Before our married days, DH spent a few months working in the US. He had a Mustang as a rental car and he felt pretty darned cool. On returning to the car one day he saw a couple of girls admiring him and his ride so he nonchalantly opened the door and got in, ready to roar away in a cloud of manly smoke. Only he was in the US and so he got in to the passenger seat. Not so cool now, DH!!

BoFingSanta I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who has genuflected in the cinema!

Although I was an adult when I did it, rather than an eight year old.

Oh, my mum wheels that story out quite regularly

Also, pmsl at "Pleased to meet you"

BOFing I laughed at pleased to meet you too

Secondcoming...that does sound very painful! ouch.

I went to a cash and carry today, took my goods through the checkout and paid by card. The lovely cashier gave me my receipt and wished me a Happy Christmas. She gave me my debit card. I stood, patiently waiting, until the cashier motioned to the items on the conveyor belt and said 'Are these yours?' 'No ' I said, confidently.

The cashier looked puzzled, as did the next customer. Then the cashier swiped the next customer's member card awkwardly.

I was waiting for the receipt...which was in my hand.

haha lougle she must have thought you wanted to be her friend because she wished you happy Christmas!

I once rang Dominos and ordered two pizzas. When the lady told me the price I asked why I wasn't getting the Two for Tuesday deal. She told me it was because it was Monday.

Another lapsed Catholic here, I have been known to unconsciously say "and also with you" in response to "may the force be with you" in Star Wars.

I was frantically looking for my mobile whilst on the phone to my sister, getting more and more stressed, till I realised I was on it..

I got lost in a train of thought on the motorway the other day and must have driven a good 15 minutes out of my way before I realised I hadn't the foggiest idea where I was.

There are many more...

Several times I've started stressing because my mobile isn't in my handbag - then realised that it's in my coat pocket. Wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have headphones on listening to music from the mobile at the time.

Also I regularly misplace my mobile in the house, call it from our landline so I can hear it ringing and locate it, then when I pick up the mobile I look at the screen and think "Ooh, a missed call from home! DH must have tried to phone me."

And earlier this week at DH's work Christmas do one of his (young, male) colleagues was talking about how he'd done a race over an assault-course and how tough it had been and how lots of people had dropped out. I asked if he'd managed to finish it and he said yes; I meant to say "well done", but instead what came out was "good girl!". (I have two dds.) He didn't particularly react so I'm deluding myself hoping he didn't notice.

I was chatting to my mum, and my DD picked up her toy phone. My mum was puzzled as to why I had suddenly started talking quietly. I hadn't wanted to disturb her call !!!

Have also been frantically looking for my phone whilst on it. Also convinced my car had been stolen, before being told by a colleague that I had come on the train that morning.

I mix up my work pass and Oyster card too, glad it's not just me.

At work I have more than once got out of the lift on the wrong floor and stood there in confusion thinking 'huh, why does everything look different, where's my office gone...?'.

Similarly getting off the train at the wrong stop (on the commute I do every day). It's not just making the mistake, it's the way the first conclusion my brain jumps to is 'someone's changed everything' rather than 'I'm in the wrong place' .

I've walked past my own front door before (but only after a few drinks...)

Melpomene - similar to the missed call thing, I sometimes need to email something to myself. Then when my phone flashes I immediately think 'ooh, I've got an email, wonder who that is'.

I have been in a car when someone mistakenly got in! Both DH and I said "Wtf?" in unison to the poor guy!

And if I can't find my mobile, I ring it from the house phone. This would be fine if I moved to follow the ringing noise. But no. On several occasions, I've sat down and waited for someone to answer, as if I'm calling someone for a chat, then I get confused when I reach voicemail and hear my own voice!

Likewise if you phone your mobile because you can't find it. When you pick it up you says "ooh I wonder who my missed call is from?"

My boss made me a cup of tea (not actually that unusual a thing for him to do) I was concentrating hard on a piece of work and absentmindely said "thanks darling" when he put it down on my desk.

Cue a few raised eyebrows in the office

missrir that really made me laugh!

Wallace, I do that EVERY time!

I have driven the 30 mins to work before, parked up and reached into the back to get my bag only to find the dc's sat there having forgotten to drop them at nursery looking pleased with the the road trip.

I've a couple of times said "Thank you" to everyone in the lift as I got out.

Also have shaken Calpol, ketchup and orange juice after opening/loosening the tops.

Love the ones about accidentally telling the boss you love them.

When I started work in a law firm for various reasons I had to send a lot of emails copying in my immediate boss and two other partners. They were all three fairly humourless, late middle aged men.

I sent a flirty email to my then boyfriend copying my boss and the two senior partners. Boyfriend replied immediately "Did you mean to send this to the other recipients?!"

I turned purple & tried to retract the message, which was successful for the two senior partners, but my boss had already read it. He called me into his office and said "I don't think that email was intended for me, was it?" I was profusely apologetic and he said just to be careful with emails and not to send too many personal ones.