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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at my husband and want to hang his balls on the Christmas tree?

74 replies

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:16

We were supposed to be going Christmas shopping tonight. I was going to do the food shop and pick up some last minute presents. I really needed him to be there to distract the kids whilst I bought some stocking fillers etc for them.

He was meant to be home at 5.30pm. At 5.45pm I called him and he was pissed! His work lay on drinks and food on the last Friday before Christmas which he told me he had no intention of staying for. I've been hanging about all day waiting for him to get him and now can't go.

I don't have anyone to watch the kids, I'm working Monday and he is working all weekend. He staggered in the door 10 minutes ago and is lying fully clothed on the bed snoring his head off.

Now I have no idea when and how I'm going to be able to do a food shop, pick up presents for the kids and my family with my 3 children in tow either tomorrow or Sunday.

AIBU to think he has been totally selfish? He knows i've been really stressed out about fitting this stuff in before Tuesday. Tonight was the only night that it was convenient. I'm so annoyed at him. For the record I wouldn't have had a problem with him staying for drinks and getting pissed if that is what he wanted. He told me he couldn't be bothered with it and is working tomorrow so didn't want to go to work with a hangover. Well hell bloody mend him now.

OP posts:
Gigondas · 21/12/2012 19:18

Yanbu- can you not go without him?

Bobyan · 21/12/2012 19:19

So why exactly is it up to you to shop? Most large supermarkets are 24 hours that means he can do that after work over the weekend...

hippoherostandinghere · 21/12/2012 19:19

I'd be pretty damn cross too. Can you not go when the kids are in bed?

HollyBerryBush · 21/12/2012 19:21

Supermarkets are 24hour - go at 5am - I always do

DewDr0p · 21/12/2012 19:21

YANBU. I would be livid. When he wakes up tell him he needs to work out a solution.

kinkyfuckery · 21/12/2012 19:22

Did he know you were expecting him home? If not, YANBU.

Shesparkles · 21/12/2012 19:23

I get what folk are saying about the 24 hour supermarkets, and it's a good solution, however OP, if I were in your shoes I'd want to string him up too!
YA definitely NBU!

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 19:23

It would be hard to buy presents for the kids with the kids with you! He has a serious amount of making up to do, let him come up with a solution about a time he can watch the kids to free you to go (I'd say get him to shop but I'm assuming you won't want that!)

badguider · 21/12/2012 19:25

totally predictable... last day of work... drink laid on... i wouldn't have put any money on me or dh in the same situation Grin

dont' stress about it - but dh owes you so HE can go to the supermarket sometime over the weekend after work or when you're at work on monday.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:25

Normally I would send him on his own but I need to go too to buy presents for my family. Our nearest supermarket/shopping centre is a 60 mile round trip so rather than us having to do 2 seperate trips it was ideal tonight for all us to go so I could do some shopping without the kids breathing down my neck. Also we were all going to have a Pizza Hut which the kids have been looking forward to all day. So he has let them down too.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 21/12/2012 19:25

send him when he's sobered up, or go late one night yourself... you don't need both of you there, one of you can have the kids at home

WhenAChildIsBawnTigga · 21/12/2012 19:26

Give him a list and tell him to get on with it.

Don'tMartyrYourselfTiggaxx

Goldmandra · 21/12/2012 19:27

YANBU.

He has been selfish.

When he sobers up give him the list and tell him to work out when he is getting it all.

Iggly · 21/12/2012 19:30

YANBU

and there are no 24 hour places near me!

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 19:31

Nose face cutting off - why can't they go for pizza?

What's wrong with late night shopping when they are in bed.

You are making a mountain out of a molehill if he works hard the rest of the time.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:32

Yeah, I'll just have to go tomorrow night when he gets home from work or might do a midnight shop. If I send him on his own he'll come home with a turkey, a bag of sprouts and 20 Christmas puddings! Hope he has the hangover from Hell tomorrow morning.

OP posts:
FlojoHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:32

YABU
Work laid on food and drink and the poor guy isn't allowed to change his mind and enjoy himself.
Most supermarkets are open 24 hrs so why not go now? Or get home delivery.
I'm a single parent and I've managed to get food and presents.

Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 19:33

Definitely not you being unreasonable.

Not many 24 hour supermarkets round this way either that aren' t a 40 mile round trip.

SarahWarahWoo · 21/12/2012 19:33

Give him a list! Add a couple of luxury things for you........ Merry Christmas x

milkwagon · 21/12/2012 19:34

YANBU
I know he's your DH but what a wankerish thing to do. I'd be livid and expect some serious amends to be made. I'd make him have a strong coffee, drink a pint of water and haul his sorry arse off the bed and drive him and the kids to the shop. That's if he's not so hammered he can't get up/won't be a danger to himself/kids etc.

Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 19:34

Izzy - not everyone has access to late shopping you know Hmm

wewereherefirst · 21/12/2012 19:36

YANBU. He should at least tell you he's having a few drinks at the party and not to let you down. Why not let the kids make sweet music with saucepans to help ease him gently from sleep.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:36

Izzyschangelingisarriving
I got us all a takeaway from the local pizza place so kids are happy. I wouldn't leave him in charge of the kids tonight. As i said he is pissed on the bed at the moment, my youngest is 14 months and is teething and waking quite a bit through the night so late night shopping tomorrow night. Maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill, Christmas tends to make me really stressed out especially the grocery shop.

OP posts:
HumphreyCobbler · 21/12/2012 19:36

I would have to travel for an hour to get to an all night supermarket.

I don't think the OP is AT ALL unreasonable to expect her husband to stick to the plan they had agreed together.

wewereherefirst · 21/12/2012 19:37

Check the shops are open beyond 10 if you're going really late- the ones here are not opening late!