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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at my husband and want to hang his balls on the Christmas tree?

74 replies

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:16

We were supposed to be going Christmas shopping tonight. I was going to do the food shop and pick up some last minute presents. I really needed him to be there to distract the kids whilst I bought some stocking fillers etc for them.

He was meant to be home at 5.30pm. At 5.45pm I called him and he was pissed! His work lay on drinks and food on the last Friday before Christmas which he told me he had no intention of staying for. I've been hanging about all day waiting for him to get him and now can't go.

I don't have anyone to watch the kids, I'm working Monday and he is working all weekend. He staggered in the door 10 minutes ago and is lying fully clothed on the bed snoring his head off.

Now I have no idea when and how I'm going to be able to do a food shop, pick up presents for the kids and my family with my 3 children in tow either tomorrow or Sunday.

AIBU to think he has been totally selfish? He knows i've been really stressed out about fitting this stuff in before Tuesday. Tonight was the only night that it was convenient. I'm so annoyed at him. For the record I wouldn't have had a problem with him staying for drinks and getting pissed if that is what he wanted. He told me he couldn't be bothered with it and is working tomorrow so didn't want to go to work with a hangover. Well hell bloody mend him now.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:10

Apologies, I wrongly assumed you meant late night shopping tonight.

I don't think its crime of the century at all. Just really inconsiderate so I asked if I was being unreasonable to be pissed off at his behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:13

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas
Yip straight in the door, banged his head on a wooden reindeer hanging from the door frame and straight on to the bed. Still has his work boots on and everything. He better not throw up or I may actually hang his balls on the tree.

OP posts:
CaHoHoHootz · 21/12/2012 20:13

YANBU

I can understand that you get a bit stressed out at Xmas especially as you work and have little DC's. I have realised, over the years, that it pays to be super organised and to do almost everything in advance. Presents by Amazon, book online groceries etc etc. It's a bit boring but it is much more relaxing. I just wish I could follow my own advice. Blush. Even if your DH had made it home sober at 5:30 I would have thought it ambitious to go out Xmas shopping so late with little DC's in tow.

Can you arrange a babysitter over the weekend so that you can go on your own and get everything sorted???

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 20:14

Crime of the century is a daft phrase - even if he somehow magically murdered everyone on this thread it wouldn't be the crime of the century - a meaningless phrase.
But could be added to mumsnet bingo along with 'single parents' manage' and 'it's a first world problem'.
Is he still sleeping OP?

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 20:17

Brandon hope you don't have to start a "he peed in the bed" thread tomorrow! One can hope his hangover will be a punishment in itself Xmas Grin

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:20

Yes he is still sleeping, i've taken his boots off him. He peed on the kitchen floor once when he was drunk, on a bag of potatoes meant for the Sunday dinner. If he does that again I may kill him!

OP posts:
Belini · 21/12/2012 20:22

I'm in a similar boat. ExP is spending Xmas with me & DC. He was supposed to be off Xmas eve so I could do food shop ( has to be then as its pay day). He is now working 8-5 asda shuts at 6. Neither of us drive so no shopping at 2 am due to lack of buses. I can't go with kids as there is no chance of getting a double buggy round the aisles on 24th.

Bloody men selfish pricks grrrr.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:23

CaHoHoHootz
I always say I'm going to be organised, it never happens. I've called a couple of people and asked if they could babysit but understandably they are all mad busy this weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:24

belini Hope you manage to get something sorted out. Next year I think I'll leave the country and lie on a beach pretending its July!

OP posts:
Loislane78 · 21/12/2012 20:26

Depends if his balls fit with the rest of the decorations. YANBU :)

Belini · 21/12/2012 20:37

I think I'll make him do Xmas next year so he can see how much work & perpetration that go into it. He just throws some money on the table & let's me get on with it.
I may even start a mums Xmas shopping crèche, so we can book 2 hour slots to go food shopping while one of the others watch the children & viceversa Xmas Grin

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 20:42

Relaxed about being treated like this?

I'm not the OP but if my DH did it I'd be glad he took the opportunity to let his hair down for once.

He never goes out anywhere - which is why it wouldn't bother ME.

HyvaPaiva · 21/12/2012 20:46

OP, I'm sorry your DH let you down but sometimes these threads turn into gender-bashing. Belini, you say 'Bloody men selfish pricks grrrr' and I just find that so sad and over-generalised. I'm not saying this by way of boasting but in defence of good guys, my DP is currently taking a lot of pleasure in creating a lovely family Christmas and has always been very thoughtful towards family and friends, he's very much a 'home-making', family-focused person. He is never, ever a 'selfish prick'. I'm sorry that some men are certainly like this and it sounds really hard work. I hate ranting Blush but let's not make a 'bloody selfish pricks' generalisation.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:50

Its not the fact he went out that's bothering me. He can go out anytime, he knows that. Its the fact he decided that tonight of all nights he gets totally wrecked knowing we are waiting on him to go shopping and for dinner. I'd like not to be bothered by it but its pissed me off. I wanted to get everything done and dusted tonight so I can chill all weekend but no, now I have to do a late night shop on a Sat night when I'd rather be sitting my arse on the sofa content that we are all set for Christmas.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:50

Its not the fact he went out that's bothering me. He can go out anytime, he knows that. Its the fact he decided that tonight of all nights he gets totally wrecked knowing we are waiting on him to go shopping and for dinner. I'd like not to be bothered by it but its pissed me off. I wanted to get everything done and dusted tonight so I can chill all weekend but no, now I have to do a late night shop on a Sat night when I'd rather be sitting my arse on the sofa content that we are all set for Christmas.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 20:57

Izzy are you saying you would be perfectly happy for your DH to ignore plans, not let you know he wasn't going to be back at the planned time Nd then stumble in plastered?

My DH works very long hours in a stressful job but if he wanted to let his hair down he would at least let me know about it if we had planned something.

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 21:04

The OP knew by 5.45, 15 minutes after he was due home, if we were talking 2.00 in the morning with no contact - I would be pissed off - but not at 5.45 before he really had a chance to be late.

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 21:05

But as I said, DH never lets his hair down, so I would be glad for him that he did for once.

CocktailQueen · 21/12/2012 21:07

YANBU - he is selfish. However, why not book a home delivery? The you don;t have to actually go to the shops on 21 December... But, if you had planned it, then YANBU! I like to have everything booked and done in advance, I am not a last-minute person... too stressful!

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 21:13

The only reason I knew was because I called him as the kids were harassing me asking when Daddy will be home. If I hadn't called him then I'd have been none the wiser until he staggered through the door.

He hardly goes out either and let's his hair down but a phonecall isn't much to ask for. I'm not some horror wife waiting behind the door with a rolling pin.

OP posts:
Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 21:13

The only reason I knew was because I called him as the kids were harassing me asking when Daddy will be home. If I hadn't called him then I'd have been none the wiser until he staggered through the door.

He hardly goes out either and let's his hair down but a phonecall isn't much to ask for. I'm not some horror wife waiting behind the door with a rolling pin.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 21:23

I think Izzy just won't see your point of view OP

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 21:30

I was responding to Salmonutras question to me.

Belini · 21/12/2012 21:43

My apologies I did not mean to turn it into an all men are pricks thread. I am very glad to know some of you out there have lovely men.
I am simply in a foul mood as this is the first Christmas since we split he will be spending with the children & I want to make it nice. I don't want to be all stressed & shouty.
This one particular man is a selfish prick & has left all the shopping present picking & food perpetration to me. I feel like without him on 24th to look after the 5 dc this will be an impossible task to accomplish.
Please enjoy the fabulous Christmas your wonderful man is creating for you.

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