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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be angry at my husband and want to hang his balls on the Christmas tree?

74 replies

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:16

We were supposed to be going Christmas shopping tonight. I was going to do the food shop and pick up some last minute presents. I really needed him to be there to distract the kids whilst I bought some stocking fillers etc for them.

He was meant to be home at 5.30pm. At 5.45pm I called him and he was pissed! His work lay on drinks and food on the last Friday before Christmas which he told me he had no intention of staying for. I've been hanging about all day waiting for him to get him and now can't go.

I don't have anyone to watch the kids, I'm working Monday and he is working all weekend. He staggered in the door 10 minutes ago and is lying fully clothed on the bed snoring his head off.

Now I have no idea when and how I'm going to be able to do a food shop, pick up presents for the kids and my family with my 3 children in tow either tomorrow or Sunday.

AIBU to think he has been totally selfish? He knows i've been really stressed out about fitting this stuff in before Tuesday. Tonight was the only night that it was convenient. I'm so annoyed at him. For the record I wouldn't have had a problem with him staying for drinks and getting pissed if that is what he wanted. He told me he couldn't be bothered with it and is working tomorrow so didn't want to go to work with a hangover. Well hell bloody mend him now.

OP posts:
ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 19:39

Just because some people are single parents, others aren't allowed to feel let down by irresponsible partners who let you down? Never understood that.

baskingseals · 21/12/2012 19:39

op you are right and he is wrong.

really hope you manage to sort something out, and have a lovely day on Tuesday.

YANBU at all.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:40

FlojoHoHoHo
A home delivery slot this close to Christmas, I should be so lucky! Of course he can enjoy himself and change his mind. When he has a wife and 3 children at home waiting on him to come home so we can hit the shops a phone call wouldn't go a miss.

OP posts:
Roseformeplease · 21/12/2012 19:41

24 hour supermarket. Some of us do not have such luxury. Hate it when an OP is bashed based on city assumptions. YANBU as he made a promise and then should keep it.

Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 19:41

Same here. We are very rural and if I was in the OPs shoes I'd be li I'd too.

OpheliasWeepingWillow · 21/12/2012 19:41

Gah. Why could he just not call you with a warning he was getting drunk out of his mind?

Seriously I wonder at men.

OP - I would be livid.

Salmotrutta · 21/12/2012 19:42

I'd be LIVID too.

Iggly · 21/12/2012 19:42

He could have at least mentioned it beforehand instead of going ahead anyway.

suburbophobe · 21/12/2012 19:43

Well, it IS Friday night piss up before Xmas, so of course people from work are going to go out and celebrate.

He should have been more straightforward with you though.

Sounds like he is giving you mixed messages.

I've been hanging about all day waiting for him

Why exactly?

Let 2013 be the year you take control of your own life!

MyChemicalMummy · 21/12/2012 19:44

YANBU. you had plans he should have stuck to them.

I can't believe people are saying leave the kids with him when he is pissed as a fart, and as for saying send him to do it later when he sobers up! he would be way over the drink drive limit, idiots

Iggly · 21/12/2012 19:44

I will add I'm not even rural (zone 4 london) and no 24 hour places that I know of!

willowstar · 21/12/2012 19:44

Nearest 24 hr supermarket is about 20 miles from us and the local small ones don't do present type things so I totally get where you are coming from if your situation similar. I would be annoyed too.

FlojoHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:45

I don't live in the city but still have 24 hr supermarkets.
But he didn't ring? Fair point. That is shit.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 19:47

Suburbophobe what exactly does "take control of your own life" mean? LTB? Do Xmas shopping with kids in tow? Cancel Xmas? Op made a perfectly reasonable plan, which required the presence of the other half of her partnership, who had given no reason to believe he was going to get pissed.

piprabbit · 21/12/2012 19:48

Presumably if the OP was a single parent she would have made other plans weeks ago and been able to get the shopping and presents sorted.
If she had known in advance that her H wasn't going to be around tonight, she would probably have made alternative plans and been all sorted by now.

As it is she is left with a pissed H, young children, 3 days to Christmas and a vanishingly small no. of chances for a bit of private shopping. She is NBU.

diddl · 21/12/2012 19:50

24hr shopping??

We don´t even have Sunday opening here!(Germany)

They close early Chrismas Eve & be closed Christmas Day & Boxing Day.

Even if he decided to stay for the do after saying he wouldn´t, he didn´t have to get shitfaced!

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 19:53

suburbophobe
Maybe 'hanging about all day' was the wrong way to put it. This is the only day off I have apart from Christmas day so was looking forward to spending some time with him and the kids tonight, thought he was of the same mindset. I totally understand that he was with his colleagues and there was a fair spread of booze and food, i'd be tempted too. Even if he had just called to say 'listen, I'm just going to stay on for a few hours with my mates, we'll arrange the shopping over the weekend' or something like that anyway.

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 21/12/2012 19:54

I would be cross too. But tomorrow I would get up, have a nice shower, brace myself and do all the jobs with the kids, treating myself to coffee out and so on. I might try and enlist the help of a single friend for at least an hour. I would get the kids in bed early and watch a chick flick whilst eating a meal for one. Meanwhile I would demonstrate to DH that I Had The 'Ump and being quite frosty for a bit until I was plied with attention and sucking up.

Grin
Goldmandra · 21/12/2012 19:55

as for saying send him to do it later when he sobers up! he would be way over the drink drive limit, idiots

Over the drink drive limit is not sober!

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 19:57

OP is working tomorrow.

Original poster
BrandonFlowersHoHoHo · 21/12/2012 20:00

H is working tomorrow and Sunday, I'm working monday Xmas Smile

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 21/12/2012 20:01

Why oh why do women put up with these irresponsible, hopeless men? I genuinely do not understand.

Izzyschangelingisarriving · 21/12/2012 20:04

I didnt suggest you left him with kids?

I just see he got carried away - as many would - I guess I just don't see the crime of the century here.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 21/12/2012 20:07

Sorry, you'd said you hadn't another day off, thought you meant working.
Surprised some people are so relaxed about being treated like this! He mustve had a skinful to have fallen asleep - could have had a few and still come home a) on time and b) sober enough to $ind children.

wewereherefirst · 21/12/2012 20:08

Izzy- so OP and her family have been let down because her DH preferred to get pissed at work than help out, yes it's not crime of the century but surely her DH should have phoned her to let her know so she could make alternative plans... Surely asking for respect isn't BU?

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