To be annoyed with my friend about my dress?

[tak1ngchances]

This is a fairly minor issue, but I am genuinely interested to know if I am being unreasonable as I am relatively annoyed with a good friend of mine. I have had my sister agree with me and another friend think I am bonkers.

This good friend has recently lost quite a bit of weight and is looking absolutely gorgeous. I am so happy for her, she's had a shit year. We are going out tonight for a couple of cocktails to celebrate her weight loss and to toast all the good things that will happen in 2013.

Last week she was in my house and said she had nothing to wear. So we went up and looked through all my dresses. She picked out a dress that would be stunning on her. I said "By all means you are welcome to borrow it, it's a good dress that I've only worn once to a wedding but of course you can wear it".

She took it home to try on.

Then today she posted pictures on Facebook of herself wearing the dress to a nightclub last night! I was that she hadn't texted to ask if that was ok. I would have said no by the way because nightclubs are a bit tough on dresses.

My sister agrees that it's a bit cheeky of her to wear it to a club, other friend says I loaned her the dress so she was entitled to do what she wanted with it.

I will see her tonight, in my dress, and I don't know whether to say anything or not (really don't want to spoil the evening), or just to keep my trap shut and not lend her things in the future.

What do you think?

You say she's had a shit year so in the spirit of Christmas let it go and don't make her feel bad.

As long as she gives it back on time and in the same condition she found it in I think YABU.

I'm saying this as someone who leant a mate a top after she stayed at mine one night, didn't get it back for weeks and then bumped into her in town shopping wearing said top. She did give it back. Eventually.

I am going to be in the minority and agree with you OP primarily because of previous poor experiences (expensive clutch bag returned with candle wax all down it and shoes with scuffed heals from drunken stumble into a drain) the more wears the more chance of damage.

I think all things considered though if she returns it drycleaned and in the same condition as when she borrowed it then I wouldn't mention it or be too annoyed (the irrational side of me still says she'll have worn it twice as many times as you though)!

YABU unless dress damaged. However I do sympathise with you as I feel funny about people borrowing my clothes.

Yabu

*breaking news**
Friend has just cancelled on our night out (with 2 hrs to go) to say she is too hungover from the club!!!

I agree don'tmind. never a borrower or a loaner be. But if she had ruined it I would expect her to replace it

Was going to say YANBU then saw your update. She's got some making up to do now OP.

I think so too HotBurrito
PS your name makes me hungry, I really love burritos

me too!

Shame you're missing your night out...

Oh, no!

I was going to say yes, I am with the majority ... but that sucks that she's now too hungover to go out. I suppose that's karma telling you, you were right to be feeling fed up!

I think OP deserves an award for most gracious acceptance of BU ever

If the dress is damage then of course you would be reasonable to be upset but you're jumping the gun here.

She does! Very gracious. Especially since it's does seem she had the measure of this mate as being a bit flakey.

Yes very gracious, and I am now a bit about your friend too!

Thinking about it...does anyone think maybe she actually has damaged/stained the dress? Hence her not wanting to come out tonight?

I have been on MN long enough to know that if the consensus is you are BU, then you are! So accept & move on.

ephiny I just thought the same!!

Then she would have a LOT of grovelling making up to do.

You're a good sport OP, I would've agreed with you if you weren't a nice person by nature you might have taken exception to how great your freind would look, and not lend the dress in the first place.

Do I think the dress has maybe lost its "just worn once" look Ephiny? Yes I bet it has.

I am miffed. But three of us were going out, and the other girl and I are going anyway. And we'll have a lovely time!

Have a lovely time OP! Let us know what state the dress comes back in

Have a great time

I want to know about the nightclub that is tough on clothes. No idea if you are being unreasonable. Sounds as if she is having fun though. Any dilemma with FB involved is usually bonkers in my opinion. Hope this helps.