in showing no interest in DD's teacher retiring today

[fishandlilacs]

My dd is in yr 1, shes is my oldest. Her teacher retires today. I haven't sent a card, or flowers or a gift or contributed to her collection. I am not going to her leaving assembly later on.

She has only taught my dd for one term and my impression of her is that shes a dismissive old trout who I don't like one bit. On parents evening she told me "she didn't have time to pander to DD's needs" because she still struggled with zips and buttons and was left outside in the cloakroom for 20 minutes crying one day because she couldn't do up her dress. This teacher started the lesson without her and I was bloody furious. She's 5 FFS.

Things have improved since then, my dd's reading in particularly is superb now so she has done her job but i really cant wait to see the back of her.

What do you do when a 5 year old works tghemselves up into a crying fit? And with two TAs I doubt she was alone.

If it's because she can't do up her zip I would show her how to do it. This wasn't some spoilt brat crying because she couldn't have a biscuit or somesuch.

Because I'm sure no-one had ever shown her how to do that

Yes, but sometimes children need to be shown again. Are you saying she deliberately wouldn't do up her zip?

If a 5 year old can't do zips or handle dressing in particular clothes, 2 solutions : 1) do lots of practice as it's a skill mastered by many 3 year olds or 2) put them in something they CAN do up themselves.

For god's sake Atthewelles are we not allowed to post responses anymore? We microanalyse every single little things nowadays. "Give out" what's that?

Why didn't your daughter learn to do zips and buttons in the reception year? Dd has 4 year old children in her reception class who will be 5 in July/August and even they can do up their zips and get dressed without help. . It's not like zips and buttons aren't a daily thing; your child needs to put clothes on every day of their life.

I'm saying that the child had a full year of school and didn't manage to pick it up but after one term with the meanie teacher not doing it for her she seems to have grasped it.

I have no idea why my dd struggled so much on this occasion maybe it was that her zip tooth was slightly bent or something. She sometimes still struggles. I sometimes struggle with fasteners and i'm in my late 30's.

I think most 5 yr olds struggle from time to time. I believe that they should be helped if they do.

I don't teach anybody younger than 7 and even their zips get stuck, buttons are stiff, laces get in a knot etc on occasion. They're little kids for goodness sake, problems happen and our job is to deal with them.

Before September how was she with zips and buttons? I find it hard to believe that the teacher - and the two TAs - would have left her to it for 20 minutes if this was a one off.

Lots of 5 year olds struggle to do up zips - even when they have been taught how to. My dd quite often gets the fabric caught in the zip and needs a bit of help (which she gets from her lovely teacher/TAs without a moments hesitation). I do consider it part of an infant teacher's job to give a bit of tlc. If they cannot manage to be kind to a 5 year old then they are a fucking disgrace and the sooner they retire, the better.

So a big YANBU from me, OP.

I'm sorry that your DC has had an unhappy term :( Save your money but don't think of it as some sort of payback, teachers don't notice, believe me.

I'm 38 and the other day I had to climb out of my coat because the zip got stuck! It's not surprising 5 year olds sometimes struggle.

it is your job to teach your dd about zips not the teachers saying that leaving her crying was a bit ott sounds like the teacher did her job it is you that sounds the old trout tbh yanbu to not contribute though, and some teachers don't believe that it is their job to pander to 5 year olds,

Goodness, I hope you're not a teacher, Jingleallthejay.

OP, YANBU to not contribute - it is voluntary after all. Just be glad your DD only had her for one term!

I went to the assembly, gave a her a christmas card and thanked her for her "positive influence" on DD. She gave me a mince pie and gave DD a hug and said "keep reading, you're doing so well"

That's lovely.

Well done Fish, sounds like you were the bigger person :)

I'm just wondering how anyone would know their 5 year old had been left in a cloakroom for 20 minutes, if they weren't there personally to see? The 5 year old would not be able to tell it was 20 minutes. I find this hard to believe.

My dd struggled with zips and buttons at that age. Now at 11 she struggles with shoe laces. I spend some time re teaching her the skill, she can then do it. The next day she can't. I was the same and I do wonder if she's a bit dyspraxic. Her struggling with it certainly isn't down to lack of input from me.

Op, you're to been unreasonable. Like you say it's about the attitude of the teacher rather than what she is/isn't doing. Leaving a 5yo to cry for 20 mins is horrible. The teacher sounds like she should have retired sooner.

I wonder who timed the crying for 20 minutes.

Parents are expected to attend leaving assemblies for retiring teachers ? I am dreading DD1 starting school for all this sort of nonsense, it seems like it's an endless round of presents for teachers, school raffles, dress up like a rare fungus days, birthday parties, more presents, endless etiquette and twaddle.

OP - YWNBU not to go (although it turns out you have). But really, I am horrified that there would even be an expectation of this!

perfectly reasonable.