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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think school should have done something to help my child

76 replies

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:18

She was on camp for a week - I had packed her toiletries in a white toiletry bag - everything she needed - tooth brush, tooth paste, shampoo, shower gel, shower puff, flannel etc

she came home after 5 days and said 'Mummy I didn't have anything to wash with' ...transpires she didn't 'think' to look in the wash bag and had been brushing her teeth with her mates paste and her finger and hadn't had a decent wash or hair wash

DD3 is a bit vague - she needs reminding of things a lot - she also needs to be clean as she is approaching puberty - she is 8

Camp was 40 mins away from our house

AIBU to think school could have a) had a teacher check her bag to make sure she didn;t have these things OR b) contact us and ask us to bring them up

I was a bit cross they did neither

OP posts:

gwenniebee · 19/12/2012 20:19

Did she tell anyone?

lljkk · 19/12/2012 20:20

Teacher probably askd & all the children said "Yes I did brush my teeth & wash" and no one will say different for fear of being embarrassed.

DD has gone on Brownie/Guides camps for years & comes home having worn a maximum 2 outfits all week & with a suspiciously dry toothbrush. A week of minging hygiene hasn't harmed her, though.

Sorry to hear your DD is already reaching puberty, that must be challenging with her so young.

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:20

yes - she told me she told her teacher (who was accompanying them)

OP posts:

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:21

It is a challenge - she hates going swimming etc because of her 'hairy bum' etc but she also has very bad skin and hair that needs to be cleaned.

OP posts:

MatureUniStudent · 19/12/2012 20:22

Both my boys came back with clean dry flannels, clean dry soap, clean dry spare clothes. I popped them in the bath when they returned, hosed them down and they were just fine. I was as young as your daughter when I went to boarding school (shivers) and you just have to work it out - edge of a nightie works for a toothbrush until you get into your stride. So sorry, I think YABU.

Witchety · 19/12/2012 20:25

Her teacher probably told her to look!

She's survived, so this obsession with cleanliness at camp is a bit ott now... After the event

lljkk · 19/12/2012 20:25

I think it's not worth making a fuss about. Your DD survived, chalk it up to experience. I've found with DD I need to show her where things are packed in her bag, although thankfully (now she's an older bossy boots) she insists on checking & repacking everything I put in there, anyway.

BuntyPenfold · 19/12/2012 20:26

Yes, if your DD told an adult, she should have been given help. I always have spare (very cheap) toothbrush, soap etc to give away.

Do take her to a GP if her skin is really bad, poor pet, my DN was given antibiotic treatment which has saved years of teen misery.

LIZS · 19/12/2012 20:26

Are you sure she wasn't just avoiding washing in front of others ?

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 19/12/2012 20:27

she also needs to be clean as she is approaching puberty - she is 8

WTF? is 8 classed as approaching puberty?

I think 8 is old enough to know what a wash bag is and what should be in it.

LeeCoakley · 19/12/2012 20:28

If your dd wasn't bothered then does it matter? Did it spoil her experience? I've never known teachers/guiders be bothered about washing particularly. Children have different routines so it's impossible to impose a regime while their away. Our guiders have always said just bring wipes to clean with. I left my dds to pack their own stuff from the given checklist, that way they knew where everything was and couldn't blame anyone else if it wasn't there.

Lonecatwithkitten · 19/12/2012 20:28

I help my DD similar age to pack her wash bag so she knows what is in there. I have to say when she went to PGL they say the buddies encourage children to be familiar with soap and water, but can not force them - I would imagine it is the same for teachers.

LeeCoakley · 19/12/2012 20:29

their = they're obvs.

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:35

Brady erm having pubic hair, breast and acne - I would call that puberty - how rude are you?

Yes Lee I guess it didn't bother her too much but I am bothered she may have been a bit mingy - mind you I bet they all where

Lizs - that's a good point actually

OP posts:

FannyBazaar · 19/12/2012 20:39

I expect my 7 yo DS to pack his own wash bag when he goes anywhere so that he knows what's in it and that it definitely is in there. He packs his own overnight bag although I do try to inspect it before he goes.

Rhumba · 19/12/2012 20:44

My DS went to cub camp in the summer and I sat with him while he packed everything so he would know where it all was. He still came back with a completely clean set of clothes, complaining that all his clothes were wet so doesn't always work but maybe next time get her to pack with you.

I also put some Haribos in his wash bag so I would now if he'd opened it or not!!

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:45

I will do that next time I think - she was not here when I packed it - It would have helped if she had seen me put stuff in the bag

she is a funny kid - lives in a dream world 90% of the time

OP posts:

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 19/12/2012 20:47

Brady erm having pubic hair, breast and acne - I would call that puberty - how rude are you?

Actually i wasn't being rude. I was genuinely shocked as my dd is 8 and I am not expecting puberty to start anytime soon. neither are my friends whos dds are similar ages.

I actually thought I was uninformed. not you. It was a genuine question.

So decided what my tone was.

Sirzy · 19/12/2012 20:48

Her not washing isn't the end of the world, I bet very few of them did even if things were there.

The teacher probably said "go and check your bag again" and then she didn't mention it again. If she was bothered then they should have found her something to use though.

BuntyPenfold · 19/12/2012 20:49

Haribo in the wash bag is genius!

madbengal · 19/12/2012 20:49

I feel you, DD hit full blown periods at 9 along with PMT, bad skin etc now at 11yrs still looks 14 (which brings its own issues) when at camp she too avoided washing with others

Personally i tyhink all kids would never wash/ teeth or brush hair without being told too lol

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 19/12/2012 20:50

As a guider I always tell parents/guides at camp meetings to get the guides to help pack so they know what they have and where it is. Also I advise that they travel with washbag, torch and batteries in their rucksack so it is easy to find at night.

I agree that someone should have helped her look for it if she'd mentioned it to someone. However I have been known to tell guides to use toothpaste and a finger to clean teeth when it is too dark/late to pull out bags and rummage for it.

BuntyPenfold · 19/12/2012 20:50

I guess she felt shy too, or surely some one would have given her a dollop of shampoo.

Original poster

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 20:50

I apologise Brady I miss read your tone.

I am knicking the Haribo trick !

OP posts:

IncrediblePhatTheInnkeepersCat · 19/12/2012 20:51

X posts with Fanny and Rhumba!

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