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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at school for telling DD (5) about Baby Jesus?

455 replies

Kalemu · 19/12/2012 10:19

We don't want religion anywhere near our house, one of the main reasons we chose to send our DD to state school instead of a CoFE school. Imagine my surprise when she came home with a Baby Jesus picture book and singing about the Baby King. This makes me very mad - it's not like we want to keep her in a bubble, but I wanted to have told her the different religion when she was a bit older.

Thinking of writing to the headteacher to let him know our thoughts, and to demand that we're informed next time they plan to talk about religious stuff in class. Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 19/12/2012 11:06

You cannot demand they do anything and spoil it for the rest of te kids. Christmas and it's religious links are a big part of British culture.

laptopwieldingharpy · 19/12/2012 11:06

YAB soooo U!
We were raised as muslims, atheists but grateful schools make a provision in the curicullum to teach humanities ( including beliefs).
What are you complaining about?
Isn't an informed mind better equiped to be become a critical mind?

ShowOfHands · 19/12/2012 11:07

I'm surprised you didn't read the literature provided by the school both before and after you applied to send your dc there. Were you educated in this country?

You have the option to remove your dc from any of the religious elements.

And your penis ramblings are offensive and crass. Partly due to the phrasings and partly due to the implications. The imagery is far more offensive than your dc being aware of Jesus and you're very rude to suggest that religion has no place in public. Is it all religions you want hidden away?

Education and religion SHOULD be separated. Secular education is woefully lacking. But you're doing yourself no favours here.

ThatArtfulPussy · 19/12/2012 11:07

My daughter is in reception at a non C of E school, and they've been learning all about Christmas, but a few weeks ago they were learning all about Diwali - drawing rangoli, having a visit from a local Hindu lady, etc etc. Did your daughter really not have anything about Diwali or other religions to get you thinking about this before now?

Re "Some people believe that..." - our vicar says that! She said at the Good Friday children's service that "Some people believe that on the third day, Jesus rose again" I thought, "You know what? You're the vicar, you're in church, the people here are here of their own free will. It's ok to say that you believe it."

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 11:08

In dd school they learn and celebrate other religious festivals such as Dwali, Eid, and Channuka too

SantaWearsGreen · 19/12/2012 11:09

Yabu.

If you choose not to believe that is absolutely fine but your dd still deserves the opportunity to learn about religion so when she is older she can make a decision herself. Plus it is always important to learn about different cultures regardless. You can't just keep her in a little bubble only teaching her things YOU believe in. Its very important to have some understanding of religion as most of the world believes in some kind of religion.. Even if you HE its still vital to touch upon religion, its such a major part of the world.. Just yabu.

ShowOfHands · 19/12/2012 11:09

I don't mean that we shouldn't teach ABOUT religion btw. Or celebrate it. DD does the nativity in the same way that she was in the Chinese New Year parade at school and they did some brilliant stuff around Eid.

ouryve · 19/12/2012 11:11

We just tell DS1 that it's a story that some people believe really happened.

I'm afraid that an act of worship and religious education are compulsory at all state schools, but you have a right to ask for your child to opt out.

StanleyLambchop · 19/12/2012 11:14

It's fun, it's part of British culture and it's Christmas. It's not going to turn them into self-flagelating nuns when they grow up.

But if they do want to be nuns when they grow up, that would be their choice. As someone several pages ago said, noone can control another persons belief. Keeping a child away from learning about religion is as controlling as the indoctrination which religions are often accused off. Although you claim to not want your child to grow up in a bubble, that is exactly what are doing if you stop them from even finding about something that is a part of life.

Why don't you let your children learn about religion, what are you afraid of?

chrismissymoomoomee · 19/12/2012 11:16

So you intend to force your DD to believe what you want her to believe instead of making sure she is given information about all religions in a non bias way and making up her own mind? YABU, what are you going to do if she does decide to follow a religion?

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 11:19

at Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus is hardly 'shoving it down' anyone's throat though

you must seriously doubt your ability to parent your child if you think ^^that will out door you shoving your own intolerant views down her throat

bleedingheart · 19/12/2012 11:20

How many people who are now atheists believed the nativity was fact when they were children?
I had a CofE education and attended chruch irregularly. I know the basis of Christianity and the main storys and parables. I'm now an aethiest. I have absolutely no problem with my son talking to me about the birth of Jesus and Mary & Joseph in the same way that I'm not going to tell him at the age of 5 that Father Christmas doesn't exist.
Even if you don't beleive, I really don't think it harms children to hear the Christmas story.
If they were being told homosexuality is wicked and unmarried parents are sinners, I understand getting out of your tree but otherwise, just relax! Honestly, it is not worth getting upset about.
Having an understanding of Christanity is a benefit, when living in the UK, whether as a believer or not.

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 11:23

I was raised in a church going family, I sang in the choir, I went to Sunday school, we never missed a Sunday - I am a humanist and have no personal faith - my mum is still an active Christian - she allowed me my own beliefs - the OP seems not to want this for her child

Original poster
Kalemu · 19/12/2012 11:24

For the last time: yes I think children should know about religion. But I don't think it should be the school or the state who teaches them, but parents, and when the child is ready. And when discussing it, it should be done in context, i.e. not just telling them the stories, but also what countries, churches and people have done in name of those religions.

And if she wants to be a nun when she grows up, good for her. I won't like it, but it'll be HER choice and I will always love her.

OP posts:
PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 11:24

And surely it's a good thing to get children to think about why they are going to get spoilt rotten next week? Or will you not be celebrating next week since you are so anti-Christianity?
Have you spoken to the school about how they teach about religion? Do you know that they didn't say ''the bible says...'' Or ''some people believe....'' Because surely you can't disagree with them telling them about what some people believe? I would have thought in a school where they have children of different faiths they would teach it in that way rather than telling it as fact.

ImNotCute · 19/12/2012 11:25

I'm surprised you didn't realise there was a religious element in all schools. Personally it's not something I agree with either. We are broadly a Christian country but we don't have religion imposed on other national institutions eg different hospitals for different faith groups, so I don't see why it has to be linked to education either (there are historic reasons for many schools being linked to churches, but surely we could move past this now).

There is a campaign against religion in schools by the national secular society and there is lots more info on their site:

www.secularism.org.uk/collective-worship.html

Pandemoniaa · 19/12/2012 11:26

But I don't think it should be the school or the state who teaches them, but parents, and when the child is ready.

Then I think you should home educate. Because you are clearly going to have issues with the National Curriculum.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 11:26

kalemu religious eduction is on the national curriculum so good luck at arguing that point with school!

BerryChristmas · 19/12/2012 11:27

OP - make sure you buy a Lottery Ticket this week. If you win you can buy an island where just you and DD live until "she is ready" to learn about the world. Good luck with that.

Original poster
Kalemu · 19/12/2012 11:27

Thanks for the link ImNotCute, will check it out

OP posts:
EverybodysSnowyEyed · 19/12/2012 11:30

Dh and I are non believers and ds goes to a non religious school. He has celebrated Diwali and learnt about the nativity. I think they also did something for eid.

This morning he declared that he is a catholic. He is five.

It didn't bother me at all. Like it or not, religion is a big issue in our world. He knows what a catholic is because they studied guy Fawkes.

I would rather he grew up deciding for himself then grew up believing (or not believing!) the same as his parents. These first introductions at school aren't going to brainwash him but hopefully they will start to make him think about the world around him.

I also think his current desire to believe in god is linked to his obsession with death as the idea of heaven is obviously a lot more comforting!

gordyslovesheep · 19/12/2012 11:30

until she is 'old enough' when is old enough - and until then how are you explaining all this Santa filled TV and shops and lights in windows etc?

You can not stop her seeing this stuff - far better to start the OPEN discussion from day one. You should not be controlling who talks to her about it - is she only allowed your biased prejudice opinion?

You do not own your childs mind - you do owe her the chance to fill it will millions of ideas and make choices as an adult to what she believes - she can't do that if you limit her exposure

garlicbaubles · 19/12/2012 11:30

altars in every classroom - what, really, Dromedary? Shock

Christian ones? Or are they multi-purpose, so you can do any religion on them?

I was a trifle disturbed by your mention of evangelical lunch clubs, too, but assume there are alternatives like chess club or badminton club as well ...

SigmundFraude · 19/12/2012 11:31

YABU. Usually children subjected to your kind of brainwashing eventually rebel. Prepare yourself for an uber-religious child who makes sure that her own children celebrate X'mas with all the trimmings whilst simultaneously sat in a psychologist's chair bleating on about how you destroyed X'mas.

You have been warned. Smile.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 19/12/2012 11:32

So how did you expect the school to avoid the subject. Christmas is everywhere

If you were that bothered about this you would have found put if it was taught in school.