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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be pissed off at school for telling DD (5) about Baby Jesus?

455 replies

Kalemu · 19/12/2012 10:19

We don't want religion anywhere near our house, one of the main reasons we chose to send our DD to state school instead of a CoFE school. Imagine my surprise when she came home with a Baby Jesus picture book and singing about the Baby King. This makes me very mad - it's not like we want to keep her in a bubble, but I wanted to have told her the different religion when she was a bit older.

Thinking of writing to the headteacher to let him know our thoughts, and to demand that we're informed next time they plan to talk about religious stuff in class. Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 19/12/2012 10:51

I adore threads like this. Holy fuck, someone mentioned Jesus at Christmas! Like most things you need to start a but younger than 5. How long did you think you'd be able to kick back and ignore the issue? At the very least once they start school it's going to arise somehow. Rightly of wrongly that's how it is. You obviously didn't do much research into the school system in this country.

Panzee · 19/12/2012 10:51

Next year I might also teach the kids about Festivus. I need a decent pole though...

By the way I am a Christian and do the "People who believe that Jesus is the son of God..." way of approaching Christmas. And all religions. Most likely your child was told this too.

Salmotrutta · 19/12/2012 10:51

OP I really cannot get my head around the fact that you didn't think religion would be covered in a state school, faith based or not.

Where/how were you eucated OP?

MrsKeithRichards · 19/12/2012 10:52

You assumed wrong. For someone with such strong views you'd have thought you'd have checked!

BerryChristmas · 19/12/2012 10:52

Where were you educated OP ? I can't believe you assumed school would be religion-free and if you were educated in the UK then you would know they are not !!!!

You must have got your hatred of religion from somewhere. Where?

Panzee · 19/12/2012 10:52

Oh how I love that my autocorrect/spellcheck didn't go near Festivus! :o

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 19/12/2012 10:52

Is this the first year you dd will have realised the other kids are having an exciting "Santa's coming" time and she isn't? Do you have any celebrations in your household? (If you didn't observe Xmas for reasons of practising another religion, you would have alternative celebration times)
yabu for not bothering to find out what is studied at school, given you have strong opinions on what should not be studied.

piprabbit · 19/12/2012 10:54

OP - Try reading pages 54 and 55 of this document which explains the law to school govenors. It will tell you about RE and Collective Worship in schools.

Salmotrutta · 19/12/2012 10:55

Please tell us where and how you were educated OP .... g'wan, g'wan g'wan.

anothercuppaplease · 19/12/2012 10:55

Can I just ask the OP, what do you expect exactly? That religion will never ever be talked about at school?

This is the national curriculum for RE. Maybe you should have read it before sending your child into the world of education.

www.education.gov.uk/schools/teachingandlearning/curriculum/a0064886/religious-education-in-english-schools-non-statutory-guidance-2010

Pandemoniaa · 19/12/2012 10:55

I don't think there's a state school in the country (the UK, that is) which will be "religion free" because all of them will teach children about different faiths and practices. Which I don't see a problem with, despite not being a Christian myself. A non-denominational state school should not take an evangelising approach to this teaching but actually, knowledge, imho, is power and a child that's been taught about different religions is far better able to reject the whole lot of them when they are old enough to make up their own mind!

I think you are being quite unrealistic to assume that there will be no mention of Christmas or the Christmas story at this time of year, however. As you would to get equally wound up when your child learns about Eid, Diwali or Chanukah to name just a few important religious festivals.

ItsIgginningToLookALotLikeXmas · 19/12/2012 10:55

Religion is like a penis? WTAF? But to continue that analogy, would you bring your children up not knowing that penises existed, and only telling them "when they are older"? How strange.

Fakebook · 19/12/2012 10:56

Well good luck for the next...13 years or so. You might want to buy some earplugs and eye patches for him to wear during November/December time and march/April.

Original poster

Kalemu · 19/12/2012 10:56

EllieArroway thanks

OP posts:

ChristmasKnackers · 19/12/2012 10:57

Yabu and if you felt this strongly then you should have discussed with teacher, particularly at this time off year.

rockinaroundthebadtasteflump · 19/12/2012 10:57

YABU and very grumpy. We don't do religion in my house either, but we love Christmas cos we love Santa

And your little analogy about religion being like a penis is disgusting, btw - so for making me read that you are being VVVU

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 19/12/2012 10:58

So you just wanted to keep her in a bubble til she was older.

How can you not have looked into this if your feel so strongly?

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 19/12/2012 10:59

YABU, did you really think school weren't going to mention christmas, and therefor Jesus, ever?

Peetle · 19/12/2012 11:00

We're all hard-core "how can reading a bunch of words out of an old book make the slightest difference to what happens after we die ?" atheists in our house, but loved it when the DTs (5.5) got lines in this year's Nativity.

It's fun, it's part of British culture and it's Christmas. It's not going to turn them into self-flagelating nuns when they grow up.

If you don't believe in religion you shouldn't be threatened by it.

hatsybatsy · 19/12/2012 11:02

YABU - and I say that as someone with no religious convictions.

dd and ds have come home with lots of questions as they learn bout different faiths at school - surely that's part of their education? how can you bring kids up with no idea at all about any kind of religion?

I answer the questions and have even offered to take them to church to see for themselves. no biggie.

you definitely cannot demand anything in school - your life will become much harder if you take that approach?

fedupwithdeployment · 19/12/2012 11:02

We are vaguely CofE, (actually I am an atheist, but like Christian values), and my DS2's friend is a Muslim boy...both of them were sheep at the Nativity play yesterday, and very sweet and well done it was too.

The School has covered Eid, Diwali and now Christmas - it's a London primary and probably most religions attend, plus I guess a good sprinkling of atheists. We live in the UK and it is important to understand all sorts of cultures. God forbid they start celebrating Winterville.

By the way Hamzah's parents, GPs and older sisters were there too - no objections from them about their son celebrating a Christian festival.

OP - YABVU.

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 11:02

Yabvvvu and closed minded, no you can't keep her in a bubble, if you don't like it home school her then. religion is all around us, you cannot get away with it, what do you do if some of her friends are taking about the Nativity as that is what some believe at home, ban them too. About time you had that talk then really!

AllSnowballsAndNoKnickers · 19/12/2012 11:04

But please tell me more about religion in state schools, I had no idea about this, had assumed they would be religion-free

You assumed this did you? About something that was going to make you froth and spit when it turned out that your assumption was wrong?

Hmmmm. Why does the word 'thick' keep coming to mind?

Lolaismyfavouriteandmybest · 19/12/2012 11:04

We have a similar issue (although we celebrate Christmas) We have attempted to bring dd up to understand that there are a number of religions and that people choose to believe what they choose to believe but nobody really knows for sure. Dh is an Atheist, I am sort of Christian, DD is free to make up her own mind. BUT the HT at her (non-religiously affiliated) school has taught Christianity as fact. DD (who is autistic, so has problems with things not being absolute) found it very distressing that Mrs X said there definitely was a god + Jesus etc but that Daddy says its not true. She then questioned everything she was told (good in a way but wearing...) and we had a problem getting her to accept (for example) that there is a right way to spell words and that people can't just make their mind up which spelling to believe in

I welcome school educating children about religion from a very young age as I feel that the religious prejudice prevalent in our country is born of ignorance, and the only way to break the cycle is to educate while the chidren are very young. But ALL religion should be taught as a believe, not presented as fact, even if the majority believe it. Otherwise you are effectively teaching children that Muslims Hindus Seeks etc believe X Y Z but they are wrong because Christianity is true. That is not education its indoctrination.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman · 19/12/2012 11:05

How exactly did you expect a school to avoid Christmas?

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