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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at school for telling DD (5) about Baby Jesus?

455 replies

Kalemu · 19/12/2012 10:19

We don't want religion anywhere near our house, one of the main reasons we chose to send our DD to state school instead of a CoFE school. Imagine my surprise when she came home with a Baby Jesus picture book and singing about the Baby King. This makes me very mad - it's not like we want to keep her in a bubble, but I wanted to have told her the different religion when she was a bit older.

Thinking of writing to the headteacher to let him know our thoughts, and to demand that we're informed next time they plan to talk about religious stuff in class. Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 19/12/2012 11:32

Britain isn't a secular state, so why would you expect state schools to be secular? I'm surprised you don't know more about this, given your strong feelings on the subject.

bleedingheart · 19/12/2012 11:32

I don't understand how you keep religion 'away' from a child until she or he is old enough to cope with a lecture about 'all the things that have been done in the name of religion.' How would you achieve that? My son talks about people being in heaven; that hasn't come from me or my non-believing family but he's got it in his head anyway,
Genuine question, I'm not being arsey.

YouOldTinsellySlag · 19/12/2012 11:34

*I don't know who said "Religion is like a penis..." but I agree 100%.

"Religion Is Like a Penis
It's fine to have one.
It's fine to be proud of it.
But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around.
And PLEASE don't try to shove it down my kids throats!"*

I find this ^ really offensive.

chrismissymoomoomee · 19/12/2012 11:35

I know very little or nothing about most religions tbh we didn't get taught it at school, I think it would be a great shame if it wasn't part of the curriculum now. My children are going to encounter people from all faiths in future years and its great that they are going to have some understanding of their beliefs even if they don't believe it themselves. They aren't forcing anyone to follow any faiths merely telling them about them.

garlicbaubles · 19/12/2012 11:36

OP - Paddington Bear isn't real, either, but you probably wouldn't mind the story book, songs and even an effigy entering your home Xmas Wink

Sirzy · 19/12/2012 11:36

I am unsure how anyone expects a school to not mention Jesus at Christmas!

If you don't "do" Christmas that's fine, you tell them its a story just like the gingerbread man or the gruffalo.

To be offended because your child knows about Jesus is just daft!

DreamingofSummer · 19/12/2012 11:38

Given that there's not much time left, I think Kalemu will win the award for thickest post of 2012.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 11:38

I'm glad that RE is on the national curriculum as I think that I am a better person for having studied it all the way through school.
My parents grew up in a very different England, in a day when most people were white British Christians/Catholics. My parents don't know a great deal about other religions so had I received my religious education at home I'd now be a much more ignorant person in regards to religion.

Sirzy · 19/12/2012 11:40

OP you may want to remove your child from school for a few weeks around Easter as they may be really horrible and discuss the Easter story with the children!

exexpat · 19/12/2012 11:42

ImNotCute - the national secular society isn't campaigning against 'religion in schools', just against compulsory Christian worship in schools (also against state-funded faith schools, I think, but that is a separate issue).

I think they still support religious education in schools - most people agree that if it is done right (ie teaching about religions rather than teaching the beliefs of one particular religion) it is a valuable way to promote tolerance and give children an understanding of different belief systems.

But it sounds like the OP would oppose that too, as do some hard line religious fundamentalists of various types, who don't want children to find out that the religious views they are being taught at home are not unquestioned truths accepted by all.

Bakingtins · 19/12/2012 11:44

YABVU if you feel so strongly about it not to have found out the school's policy on religious education before you enrolled your child.
All state schools will teach the basic festivals of all the major religions. We are Christian, I have no objection to my son learning about Eid, Diwali, Hannukah etc, and equally if I was an atheist or a member of any of the other religions I'd have no objection to him learning about Christianity.
When would you say is the 'right' time to start learning that not everyone in the world thinks as you, the parent, do? My son has been celebrating the major festivals at nursery since he was one, we see it as a big positive that his school is very multi-cultural and makes a big thing of celebrating all the religions represented there.

TraceyTrickster · 19/12/2012 11:44

My daughter (also 5) came home full of the same stuff.

I just said some people believe God exists and some people believe in Jesus. Now lets finish writing that letter to Santa so he knows what you want. We believe in Santa Grin

(Me--- a hypocrite????)

YouOldTinsellySlag · 19/12/2012 11:44

OP YABU. I think it is important for children to know the origin of festivals be they pagan, Christian, Hindu or Muslim.

My son is baptised, and vaguely raised as a christian (i.e I don't go to church very much and have a lot of questions about my faith, but I keep my faith to myself)

However, you are wrong to expect the school to leave any mention of Jesus out of Christmas. Do you hurry your children past nativity scenes in case they start becoming Christian? It's valid that the school explains festivals.

I also think it's utterly fine for non christians to celebrate Christmas or Yule or whatever anyone prefers to call it, in any way they choose. I also fully approve of my son learning about Diwali and Ramadan and Eid.

If my son chooses never to set foot in a church or believe the same as me, that's fine too.

Whatever people believe is fine by me. What I do think we should all believe in is tolerance.

Mentioning Jesus at Christmas and explaining the story behind it all is not the same as indoctrinating your children into a cult or religion.

To expect nobody to ever mention it to them is ridiculous and unrealistic.

HarlotOTara · 19/12/2012 11:50

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. But surely, regardless of belief, Britain's history and culture for centuries was based on Christianity and for that reason alone should be understood as it gives us a context.

Would love to know more about the alters in classrooms and evangelical sweet eating lunchtime meetings.

SarahWarahWoo · 19/12/2012 11:53

This Morning are showing a nativity play are you going to ask that ITV to let you know in advance so that you turn it off?

You can't expect the school to avoid the subject of Christmas, are there many other children in her class who don't celebrate? If so then maybe suggest that they study something else but then wouldn't this make then feel excluded?

lisbapalea · 19/12/2012 11:58

This Alain de Botton article is worth a read on this topic: www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/dec/24/christmas-atheists

LadyBeagleBaublesandBells · 19/12/2012 12:01

You'r analogy about shoving penises down children's thoughts is just eeew.
Couldn't you have thought about a more fitting one, Op.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 12:04

sarah I've just seen that and thought the same, I can just see it now, Philip schofield : ''now the next part of the show may offend some people so if you don't want to see some kids tell the story of baby Jesus you may want to turn the television off or go and make a cup of tea...and take the kids out of the room too''
It's just absurd.
If somebody had posted this about any other religion people would be reporting it!

ImNotCute · 19/12/2012 12:06

Exexpat Yes, sorry I wasn't as clear as I should have been about the national secular society as was posting in a hurry.

Personally I have no issue with schools teaching about religion, but there are other areas of church involvement in education that really bother me- eg legal requirement for act of daily worship even in non-faith schools.

YouOldTinsellySlag · 19/12/2012 12:07

Yes to compare telling a child about religion to shoving a penis down their throats is utterly vile and inappropriate and weakens rather than strengthens your argument.

You need to be aware that there is a difference between informing and telling children ABOUT religions and forcing them to accept that religion as their own. If you can't tell the difference then no wonder you're having trouble with this.

My son knows all about Diwali and Eid, and did not come home saying the school made him into a Hindu. Nor did I complain about him learning about them because I know that religion is not infectious and does not spread on contact.

Get a grip.

EllieArroway · 19/12/2012 12:07

You'r analogy about shoving penises down children's thoughts is just eeew.
Couldn't you have thought about a more fitting one, Op

To be fair to the OP, it's not her analogy. It's quite a famous, oft quoted phrase that's been floating around the internet for a while.

YouOldTinsellySlag · 19/12/2012 12:08

Which she has used here to support her argument.

rockinaroundthebadtasteflump · 19/12/2012 12:08

Doesn't mean she has to repeat it though does it....

YouOldTinsellySlag · 19/12/2012 12:09

It's offensive to compare religion to shoving a penis down a child's throat. It doesn't even begin to compare and is offensive to those of us with young sexual abuse victims in our family.

Witchety · 19/12/2012 12:10

He had a choice over using it tho.... She chose to

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