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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off at school for telling DD (5) about Baby Jesus?

455 replies

Kalemu · 19/12/2012 10:19

We don't want religion anywhere near our house, one of the main reasons we chose to send our DD to state school instead of a CoFE school. Imagine my surprise when she came home with a Baby Jesus picture book and singing about the Baby King. This makes me very mad - it's not like we want to keep her in a bubble, but I wanted to have told her the different religion when she was a bit older.

Thinking of writing to the headteacher to let him know our thoughts, and to demand that we're informed next time they plan to talk about religious stuff in class. Do you think AIBU?

OP posts:
ArbitraryUsername · 19/12/2012 15:46

When DS1 was of nativity age, they always sang 'a wean in a manger'. Lovely (and actually makes far more sense than 'away').

MamaMary · 19/12/2012 15:46

So you want your DD to grow up ignorant of world religions? Like, totally ignorant? What a disservice to her. :(

catkind · 19/12/2012 15:46

Love it Poppy. I guess the problem with carol concerts is more the readings/talk around the songs than the songs themselves. After all, they don't think Rudolph is real!

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 15:47

catkind from my experience 'church run toddler groups* is usually somebody who is a member of the church unlocking the door to enable mums to sit in the hall having a natter.
I've never actually even seen a vicar at the toddler group I go to, just a woman with a key who opens up, goes home for a cup of tea and comes back to lock up.
Hardly 'church run'.

ArbitraryUsername · 19/12/2012 15:48

I'm pretty certain that DS2 thinks Rudolph is real.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 15:50

There was no talks about Christmas or the bible. A lady from the local library came in and read a Christmas story about Father Christmas and some monsters.
They're only 3 so maybe that was why? Although I do know they've been learning about Jesus.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 15:51

Yeh Rudolph is real in this house, if he's not the who F is eating my carrots every year?!

MamaMary · 19/12/2012 15:52

Are there any other ways in which you are planning to police what your DD learns?

DuelingFanjHoHoHo · 19/12/2012 15:57

"YABU - your child has a right to make their own minds up - you may not believe but you can't impose your beliefs by banning information being given to your child - you sound like Stalin!"

ha ha ha ha ha ha.

This is exactly what those of us who have no religion DON'T want the religious doing to our children. Of course you can try to stop your child from being told that fairy tales are real if you want to!

Oh and 'not believing' is not a belief you nut! Xmas Grin

bleedingheart · 19/12/2012 15:57

ouryve- the power! Did you use it for good or evil?! Smile I love the idea of a subversive six-year old in charge of writing the prayer!

Sirzy · 19/12/2012 15:58

Ds (3) has been happily singing "no way in a manger" for a few weeks now! He also sings "happy birthday Jesus" and wants birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas day!

catkind · 19/12/2012 16:00

Bunbaker the thing is it doesn't have to be zealous to be harmful in my opinion. Zealotry is easy to spot and counter. A few comments from teacher or other authority figure that assume Christianity can more easily foster belief because it's not labelled as Christianity, it's just labelled as by the by fact.

I can't really discuss how believing harmed me at primary school age without starting a massive argument about religion, so I'll just say it wasn't a happy time.

DuelingFanjHoHoHo · 19/12/2012 16:01

"Can I just ask the OP, what do you expect exactly? That religion will never ever be talked about at school?"

most people without religion accept that it will be taught in an historic sense, and that people of all faiths should be allowed to worship in their own way but wouldn't it be wonderful if religion wasn't taught as a truth in schools. I would love that.

catkind · 19/12/2012 16:03

Poppy, I know not all church run toddler groups do overtly religious things, but I think if I went to one of those I would have no right to complain if they did. In fact the closest one I know of does have some "worship songs" and bible stories, the vicar doesn't show but it is run by some active church members.

ouryve · 19/12/2012 16:10

bleedingheart I was pretty stumped for what to write, to be honest. It ended up being the bland 3 line "thank you for blah blah blah" that you'd expect from an intensely socially awkward but innately compliant (until people started spouting the ridiculous) 6yo.

Bunbaker · 19/12/2012 16:13

Catkind When I was at primary school back in the 1960s assembly was always a religious affair. I "dropped out" of religion at about 12 and then decided in my mid 40s to test the water again. So I can't say that being exposed to religion was harmful to me in any way. I had a C of E upbringing BTW, but went to Sunday school, Brownies and Guides at the local presbyterian church.

Having been a believer, a non believer, agnostic and sort of believer I feel that I have an open mind and am puzzled as to why some of the posters on here are so afraid of religion and find it so harmful.

pigletmania · 19/12/2012 16:13

Well op judging by reactions on this thread yabvvvvvvu and ignorant. I would not expect the school to take you seriously

DuelingFanjHoHoHo · 19/12/2012 16:19

"why some of the posters on here are so afraid of religion and find it so harmful"

I don't think people are afraid, they just object to the way someone who has no religion is taught stuff as fact, particularly when so young. Many people are of the opinion that religion is not something schools should be teaching to children and certainly not as a factual lesson.

I look at my 2 year old soon who has no religion at all and it annoys me that it's up to me to opt him out of something I think is rubbish rather than it being something I can opt into if I want. They should take religious worship out of schools imo.

ArbitraryUsername · 19/12/2012 16:24

Exposure to religion at school was generally tedious, IME. Sometimes it was verging on the ludicrous. Think middle aged Church of Scotland minister trying to be 'cool' by bringing in just 17 and basing the assembly around it. Once he brought in bird seed for some reason but all I remember is a boy (whose surname was the name of a bird) started jumping around squawking about how it must be for his because he was a .

The thing that really put me off religion was my grandparents and my dad dragging me to mass so I could feel inadequate while they all went up for communion. My mum had refused to have my sister and I christened, and we didn't go to catholic school (unlike all my cousins). And the bastards all seemed to delight in making us feel like misfits because of it. So whenever I think of Catholicism I think of narrow minded, bigoted (oh boy, did they hate Protestants) and nasty people.

Note: I fully realise that not all Catholics are like this, or even most/many Catholics. The PILs are catholic and not like that at all. It's just that I grew up with nasty arseholes who used religion as a weapon.

AltinkumATEalltheTurkey · 19/12/2012 16:28

YABU, your child needs to learn that religion is a massive part of then world and people's lives, and learning about RE is mandatory in all schools, now you can tell her what you believe, however she does need to be educated on faiths.

ArbitraryUsername · 19/12/2012 16:29

I agree that they should take religion out of schools, duelling. If parents want their child to have a religious upbringing, they should teach them about it themselves/send them to Sunday school. Actually, I have no idea if they even have Sunday school anymore.

It is a bit annoying to have to explain that you don't have to believe in god just because Miss said so. Religious education is fine (and I see participating in nativities etc as part of that); the problem is when it's taught as Truth.

DuelingFanjHoHoHo · 19/12/2012 16:47

"now you can tell her what you believe, however she does need to be educated on faiths. "

Not believing is not a Belief.It just seems wrong to me that parents should be put into the position where they have to do the whole 'I don't believe' thing when perhaps their children have had completely religion free lives up until they started school and now the parents are expected to start talking about it with their kids. Why can't my child be allowed to go through school without having this stuff stated as fact?

GhostShip · 19/12/2012 16:52

No school is religion free.

Schools teach about different religions, it's a main institution in every single country so they're hardly going to ignore them.

Since everyone is going to be banging on about christmas then obviously they're going to teach the story behind it.

Someone said that your extreme atheism is as ridiculous as extreme religion - I agree 100%.
Your child should be able to make their own decision as they grow, so them learning about different religions is very important.

I learned - I am still atheist.

GhostShip · 19/12/2012 16:54

DuelingFan

as much as I see where you're coming from, Religion is a massive part of how our and other societies work and it's important to understand that. It shouldn't be stated as fact at all, but explored.

PoppyPrincess · 19/12/2012 17:02

arbitrary but as has previously been said, it's not just about learning Christianity, or any other one religion, schools teach about different religions. If RE was left to parents to teach would they necessarily be teaching about all religions ? Do you not think in the multi cultural society that we live in that children should have a good understanding from a young age? They need to grow up to be tolerant of different cultures and faiths and I believe that education from a young age is the best way to achieve that.